I will try to keep this brief. Colors will be used to separate the various parts below with questions in red for ease of reference.
I am a thirty year old man who is romantically attracted to other men. I have lurked on this forum for awhile so allow me to define romantic before I go any further so any who answer this question are on the same page:
Romantic in this discussion shall refer to the yearning for a relationship that goes deeper than friendship but shy of the sexual aspects of a more traditional relationship. An emotional fealty that involves a sort of honoring of a special love shared by only one other and expressed in affection including: hugging, kissing, cuddling, snuggling, nuzzling, and similarly nonsexual but more than friendly activities. In all ways outside of the sexual aspects, this relationship would mirror a traditional coupling of a man and a woman in courting and marriage. Examples of this sort of relationship might include an older couple who is incapable of sexual intercourse any longer due to a medical problem but who remain together and take care of one another all the same.
I am something of a feminine soul. Not transgender, mind you - I am happy and fully accept my male body, but my heart, mind, and soul feel more like that of a female. I have always been very maternal in the way I reason and think, very instinctual in my pursuit of spirituality, naturally very doting, and more intuitive than I am logical. Part of this is that I also have always longed for a special someone - the problem obviously being that my special someone will be another guy. I am not in a relationship and have never been with another man, despite my age. I ignored it, shoved it down, and basically focused on other things but the longing and loneliness have become quite overwhelming. While I shall not seek another, I am open to meeting someone special if that is where fate leads me, so to speak. I am also interested in reconnecting to my childhood faith, however, and still hold to the idea of absolute morality. I pray for the intercession of saints here and there as well. So I find myself at an impasse.
I understand priests give it up these sorts of relationships, but if I were heteroromantic I would not be a priest - I am not cut out for that sort of thing. This is a deep longing and not just mere fancy or lust. As such, I would be interested in seeking a chaste romantic (by *my *definition) relationship with another man. Is this possible or am I destined for hell, so to speak?
Note: I did search and find a similar question asked recently but it was very impersonally asked and the conversation devolved into an argument over the semantics behind the word “couple” among other things. As such I felt a more limited discussion was in order; one where I set definitions so as not to create any room for needless semantic arguments. No offense if you enjoyed or were a part of that thread, though - this is much more than a mere hypothetical to me so I feel compelled to ask in a more focused and directed way. It is an issue that does weigh on me and not merely a matter of philosophical whimsy, you understand.