I have something on my mind and I’m not sure who to ask, so I thought I’d ask here.
I’ll just get to the point
I used to struggle with OCD. Because of this, I tend to repeat things over and over again in my mind, and sometimes in my actions (like when I’m checking something), or I get really stressed out. Well for some reason, when people say swear words…it affects me so much that they begin “playing” in my mind repeatedly, and I can’t really control it well. One time, a friend of mine saw something horrible written on the wall of her building about God. When I was a Protestant, I went through a really difficult time where that exact phrase would just repeat in my head and I felt like I was sinning each time. I know there’s a difference between sinning and temptation…but I couldn’t tell what this was. When I became Catholic, thankfully it all went away!! but last week…I had a really rough week spiritually, and it came back, to a lesser degree. It’s really bothering me. In addition to swear words, I also keep on getting horrible thoughts about my family and friends, like really angry and hateful thoughts that don’t seem to come from me at all. Maybe this is demonic? it feels like a temptation. Also, I read in the Bible that everything could be forgiven *except *blasphemy against the Holy Spirit. Well one time the devil started putting this horrible thought in my mind, that kept on repeating, like the other ones… (maybe because of my - now very mild OCD). and it was against the Holy Spirit. I’d never say it here. But it’s bothering me sooo much, because I’m scared now that I’ve committed the unforgiveable sin it’s the WORST thought that could ever be about the Holy Spirit… I’d never come up with it on my own…
I hate swear words so much. Whenever I hear people say swear words, it affects me so badly I want to run away. It actually causes me pain.
I don’t know what to do
does anyone have any advice? please say a prayer for me if you have a moment
I’m really struggling…but praise God!! I was able to go to Confession today!!! I was sure that I wouldn’t be able to (transportation reasons…) but I guess I REALLY needed it cause God made a way I’m so glad…and the priest was so kind too and said a prayer for me. I confessed the evil thoughts btw. But I want this to end forever.