I am married now for 10 years. My wife says she used to feel like I valued her friendship but not anymore. I understand where she’s coming from because I see certain characteristics in myself that are non-typical in my opinion.
I am intelligent, methodical, analytical, and yet sensitive and emotional. I enjoy coming to these forums for the intellectual and spiritual challenges it provides (plus it would be nice to think I could affect someone else positively). But these forums are anonymous, and I feel no obligation to maintain frequent dialogue, unless I’m in the midst of a discussion.
My friendships (few as they are) are the same way. My friends and I have an understanding I think. We get together when the mood strikes, but if 6 months pass without contact, so what? We get together again and pick up where we left off. I have many more casual friends where we get together to golf once in a great while, or work on a home improvement project together.
Mostly I enjoy doing projects by myself (carving, home improvement, yard work, etc). I enjoy being alone with my thoughts, contemplating life. I don’t turn on the radio in my vehicle many times, even though I may spend several hours a day driving. Generally I enjoy talking with people much older than me, more than people my age because I find them more interesting, thoughtful, and insightful.
Okay you get a feel for the way I am. Perhaps I’d be better suited as a monk, but I’m not. I’m a husband a father of two young boys. Now I need someone to help me understand why I should place higher value on spending time with friends (hoping this may help me place higher value on the friendship aspect of my marriage since it is obvously important to her).