The vanishing male


#1

So here is my opinion - It’s not going to be popular but read through it - Women have too much power.

Schools are run nearly 90 percent by women. As such, they teach to little girls. They stick boys in chairs for eight hours a day and require them to be still. They pop pills in their mouth if they squirm, wiggle or disrupt. Then they kick them out when they are older. 20 Years ago schools had physical education/recess an average of 1.5 hours per day which boys need! Today, my son get 30 minutes on some days and none on others with a weekly average of around 15 minutes per day. You say it didn’t happen 20 years ago and women ran the schools then! True enough but there has been a concerted effort to teach to little girls in the past 20 years to the detriment of little boys. I am not saying we need to teach to girls less don’t get me wrong. However, we need to teach to boys MORE!!

Boys now grow up, disrupt, get frustrated and don’t attend college where women now outnumber men almost 2 to 1. Those educated women then enter the work force and have dibs on all the good jobs, have better success in government as well as business. Men are entering trades at a rate non seen in 25 years. Those are the only jobs they are qualified to do!

My father, a criminal defense attorney, has told me for years that he believes terrible life circumstances usually start with a single bad decision. Usually that decision is drugs or alcohol but there are plenty of other bad decisions that could make the point.

So to the above problem I believe it started with a single bad decision - ARTIFICIAL BIRTH CONTROL!

That’s my premise…Any takers? :shrug:


#2

Your post is a little hard to follow, but if it’s a matter of women having too much power, and the fault being in artificial birth control, then the power lies equally with women and men. While men may not have the ease of some forms, they certainly do have access to condoms.


#3

*I believe it was NFL Coach Tony Dungy who said that we are seeing strong men disappearing because largely, in our society, dads are missing from boys’ lives. Coupled with feminism, ABC as you mention, soaring divorce dates, and probably some other mitigating factors, men are being marginalized, and they are shrinking from being strong, responsible men. Or should I say we are seeing a shortage of these men, largely because of the factors I’ve named as being possible reasons. Maybe because as a society, we are not APPRECIATING such men for some reason. :frowning: I see it as a growing problem–I don’t think that girls are being catered to more than boys in school–just my opinion and experience. My kids, I have a boy and a girl, are treated equally, with opportunities for learning being equal. *

But, I agree that there seems to be a growing problem out there, with men becoming more and more marginalized. :(**


#4

Physical education got cut from the schools because of money shortages. When a school doesn’t have enough money the first thing to get cut are extracurriculars and gym.

Women have always ran the schools, being a teacher, especially to younger kids has always been considered a woman’s job.

And schools have always favored sitting still and listening to the teacher, you used to get physically reprimanded if you didn’t.

Boys now grow up, disrupt, get frustrated and don’t attend college where women now outnumber men almost 2 to 1. Those educated women then enter the work force and have dibs on all the good jobs, have better success in government as well as business. Men are entering trades at a rate non seen in 25 years. Those are the only jobs they are qualified to do!

Women do attend college more than men, but men still get better jobs and get paid more for the same jobs. Women don’t have better success in government or business, are you kidding?! Look at how few women there are at the higher levels of both fields. What % of the Senate/House are women? 20% or something? How many female CEO’s, or other high level business positions can you think of?

Are the absolute rates of male college attendance falling? I would guess the relative rates have dropped because in the past women weren’t expected to get an education. Maybe both men and women attend college more than they did in the past, but for women the increase has been greater.

My father, a criminal defense attorney, has told me for years that he believes terrible life circumstances usually start with a single bad decision. Usually that decision is drugs or alcohol but there are plenty of other bad decisions that could make the point.

So to the above problem I believe it started with a single bad decision - ARTIFICIAL BIRTH CONTROL!

That’s my premise…Any takers? :shrug:

I don’t see how you can blame ABC on school cutting PE out of their budget. NFP is nearly as effective as the best methods of ABC, and more effective than simply using condoms.


I would blame diet and lifestyle on the attention problems boys are having. So many young children now are overweight or obese, they are also eating and drinking utter **** (sorry for the language). They did some study on mice where they raised them on junkfood, and the mice who were raised on junkfood did dramatically worse in mazes than mice that were fed a healthy diet.


#5

Well I agree with your post. I agree with the first point about the feminization of modern culture to the detriment of young men (and everyone, IMO) and I agree that artificial birth control is evil. But I don’t quite see the direct link between the two. (Aside from both being causes and effects of the deteriorization/secularization of modern culture.)

Could you explain further?


#6

True enough but there has been a concerted effort to teach to little girls in the past 20 years to the detriment of little boys. I am not saying we need to teach to girls less don’t get me wrong. However, we need to teach to boys MORE!!

Exactly. Women are behind in terms of overall society. So we need to catch them up. The entire curricular is tilted toward girls now to “make up for it” but they’ve gone too far with it. The gym mentioned in the OP is part of it. Also, the novels are usually geared more towards girls, more emotional rather than physical. We are told women are behind in society, struggling because of sexism, never mind if there’s a reason why for this rift. Yet it is the boys who now have a higher dropout rate and suicide rate to name a few.


#7

No. Your arguments don’t follow one another and nothing makes sense.

First of all, what do you mean by “Then they kick them out when they are older.” Are you saying that women teachers or administrators kick boys out of school when they are older, based on…what?..Are you implying that the reasons are invalid? Can you give an example, especially of how this is being done en masse?

Can you give an example of how something is “taught to girls” as opposed to “taught to boys”? I don’t know what you mean by this.

How do you teach boys “more”? Are you saying that boys should be taught additional concepts? What would the girls do during this “more” instructional time given to boys?

You say, "Boys now grow up, disrupt, get frustrated and don’t attend college where women now outnumber men almost 2 to 1. Those educated women then enter the work force and have dibs on all the good jobs, have better success in government as well as business. Men are entering trades at a rate non seen in 25 years. Those are the only jobs they are qualified to do!"
Are these your personal observations, or do you have objective sources to back up your statements?

And last but not least, how does all this follow from use of artificial birth control??? That is a huge non-sensical leap of logic. How does it follow that use of ABC leads to schools being run by women, elimination of gym classes, men entering trades instead of college?

I agree that in many cases terrible life circumstances can result from a single bad decision. However, I would say that the bad decision is that of teenagers having pre-marital sex…because, since many teens do NOT use ABC, the sex will eventually lead to pregnancy. Please note that I AM NOT advocating ABC. I am saying that, in my opinion, the problems society is experiencing with boys stems primarily from single-motherhood, which is usually teen motherhood. There is usually no father in the picture, the mother is often lacking in parenting skills, and she is usually financially struggling to provide for her child. THAT is what leads to the problem with boys…and with girls, as well.


#8

Some of the best teachers I’ve ever had were female. I don’t think gender effects teaching ability, or that female teachers have a teaching bias. Haven’t you ever had a nun teach you a class in school? They’re good teachers and they certainly wouldn’t be biased.

Look at the nations of the world where females are uneducated or undereducated. Poverty and violence is rampant. All people should have an equal access to education. Also, I think that’s a stereotype that males cannot sit still for a whole school day. I was able to do it, all my friends were able to do it. Maybe some children have learning disabilities that are undiagnosed?


#9

Actually, women’s education has been proven to reduce poverty and violence in many cultures. It’s true in Africa, the Middle East, Asia, and Latin America. It’s also true in our own culture. If women have education and greater stake in society, they aren’t going to be victimized and will be able to make better decisions for themselves and their families.

I guess me working threatens men who are looking for jobs and my pursuit of a college degree threatens their intelligence. And maybe my voting threatens their political power. Well, that leads me to the conclusion that men are insecure. Sorry, but I go for guys who not only respect me but have enough self-respect and confidence to be able to see me as an equal. And by equal, I mean equal in dignity and in worth.

God made us in His image. Male AND female He created them. And if He gave me brains, a work ethic, and talent, I believe He expects me to use them. I was made to walk side by side with a guy, not ten steps behind him.

Besides, if women can’t work or have power, you can’t have female doctors or midwives. So for anyone who believes women should only use women physicians yet use arguments like this, you’re shooting yourself in the foot.


#10

I think in general you are right in the argument your giving an answer to, but the argument being presented is a different one. Yes, males and females are equal in in dignity and worth. Yes, females can have power. But the argument is if we should have a whole paradigm shift, the argument is that right now I think there is an emerging problem with some males being left behind due to systematic situations that can be addressed.

I see two situations a lack of male role models and a school system that makes one sit all day. For the school system, we all fall in a spectrum of ability to fallow that format. I did well, even excelled in it. Others have problems, and can be disruptive. I would say probably more boys than girls, although there are a significant amount of girls too. If anything probably my sister fell into this category. I think to address it, the first thing to do is to realize they may need different approaches. If there are enough classes there could be a modified structure.

For the lack of male role models, I think this is going to be the exact place where the “vanishing male” is really going to hurt society at large. You are right in that educating women helps the problems of poverty and violence. But I think too accepting a lack of education of males also will lead to poverty and violence. There may not exactly be an insecurity of men who feel threatened by women gaining more power. There may be a increased idea that men are not needed by society.

In this society we have embraced individualism, and our idea of family is the nuclear family. Now that divorce is easy, and women can have it all on their own, a lot of men may feel no pressure to be binded by a family. It can be easy to drop out, especially in the face of the burden of family, especially when one feels no pressure to do so. That though leads to a purposelessness, which can lead to antisocial behavior. Then I would say this will be most prevalent in poorer communities, where the women may not have a good way to provide a good living for a family. They will feel that antisocial behavior the most. If anything there may not be a lack of male role models, but an large amount of bad male role models.

That is not to say we need “put women back in the place” as I think you may feel by this argument, the advancement of women in the public sphere is largely a positive. The problems I see is that we need to be aware of typical male needs as much as we try to be about female needs. Some ways I think we are improving, but really need to place more emphasis on it. We need more work/life balance. We also need to understand that males and females are not the same. We also need to reconnect with a community around us, not a virtual community, but a tangible one around us and/or an extended family.


#11

Well thanks for the post! You agree that the culture has been feminized, which is obvious. ABC is a cultural evil, again this is obvious. The link IMO is that the radical feminzation of our culture began through ABC and specifically the pill. With no responsibility whatever for sexual choices, women have opted out of “traditional” family scenarios and instead have opted for the work world along side men. Women are now, just as men are, expected hold down full time jobs outside the home.To help ease the lop-sided situation where men were the majority of the workforce since most women used to stay home, we began to teach more to little girls and less to little boys and the result after 25 years is that we have thrown the cultural keys to women! One problem with that…MEN CAN’T HAVE BABIES!!! Fewer women staying home means fewer traditional families and has open the door to “untraditional” families like gay marriages. It also means fewer babies in general. And the cycle continues it’s spiral. IMO this situation has occurred through the misguided perception of “choice” with regards to family planning in general given to us by the false hope of ABC. Now feminists take note, women are qualified to do whatever they want so don’t email me. However if you look at it like a business, you can’t have everyone selling and nobody minding the store!! You have to have someone at at the store keeping shop, paying the bills and generally managing the place. If everyone is out selling the products, soon you’ll have no products since no one will be left to produce them.


#12

Thanks! You stated this a lot better than I did! Please refer to this post! :slight_smile:


#13

Men and women have babies together, and many men are stay at home dads.


#14

boys learn to be men primarily from their fathers, not from their teachers and coaches. Girls learn to relate to men from their fathers, not from teachers and coaches. If fathers bail, children fail. The statistics prove it over and over, the child raised without a father in the home is statistically far more liable to suffer in any aspect you can think of–academic success, self-esteem, proper gender identification and relationships, social behavior etc. Does that mean every boy w/o a father will join a gang or every girl will always date older men? No not at all but the damage is widespread and pervasive to the point of being epidemic. Does that mean the single moms and dads are not doing a heroic job? Not at all but they will be the first to admit they are operating under a handicap.

any man who is looking for a way to cause lasting harm to his children that will be lifelong should consider infidelity and disrespect to his spouse, their mother, and plan on leaving the home to satisfy his own needs.

many of not most of those working mothers who are not home raising their children full time have to work because the father of their children has dropped the ball


#15

No, I really believe and it is obvious that boys are being left behind in secondary schools. There is the reduction in physical excercise, which I concede girls also need but boys need it absolutely. What I mean by that is this - Girls need physical excercise but can function the same whether they get it or not with regards to a school setting. Boys on the other hand are a hard to handle mess in the classroom if they don’t get an abundant amount of excercise.

I speak from experience as first and foremost I am a boy and secondly I am raising a boy (I am also raising a girl). In addition, boys are visual and tactile in their learning styles where girls by and large are more auditory. These are facts not opinions. Schools have cut out entirely shop class where boys again had an opportuntiy to excel. If they do it at all, they do it poorly.

Men have simply vanished from teaching altogether in most places. This means ALL of the influence boys get in the class room are from females. They ONLY get a female perspective. No firm male figure with a strong hand anywhere to be found. Only squishy, let’s talk about it females. No wonder we have a rise in “metro sexual” males in our society!

In addition, books are written for girls now with most of them emotionally based where the hero is always the girl with topics like relationships, menstral cycles and the like. I know this as I monitor what my son reads and guide him to more appropriate material.

I lived near an army base for a number of years. They trained fighter pilots there. I knew personally the base physician who signs off on all the pilots physicals. He told me that the men, on days their training was in the air were almost always spot on. Very few failed these types of training. In contrast, more than 90 percent of them took a stimulant medication on the days they were in the class room as they could not manage through 10 hours on their butt simply listening to a teacher. What’s the difference? For starters in an aircraft you have 1,000 things to manage quickly including sights, sounds, gadgets, buttons, navigational instruments, weapons, altitude, etc. High adrenaline, high cost for errors. Yet the men did just fine! It was giving them exactly what they needed, the traditional class room did not.

SO back to my original point. Where did this all begin? IMO with the commercialization of the pill, which by the way was first used in Nazi Germany. Women now had the “choice” of leaving the home, not having babaies and going to work. The cycle began.

For the record, girls can do whatever they choose and should have the same opportunties as men, generally speaking. Remember, I have a duaghter. I want her to excel and go to college and have a family and all that. I just want the same for my son.

IMO opinion men are hard wired to be leaders, guiders and fixers. Only society has stripped them of all ability to be any of of the three. They are stuck now being secondary women with bigger muscles required at every bend and turn to cow tow to women, all thanks in large part to ABC.


#16

You are correct. I am not questioning your statements in the least, just pointing to ONE problem as it relates to men in society. Answer this though - where did it all begin? I think the answer is the commercialization of the pill and has been a slippery slope ever since.


#17

#18

I think you’ve hit on a real problem - boys are not getting along in life the way they should - but your reasoning is totally buggered. It is a cop out to say - lets blame women for having too much power. I mean, really.

There are real problems with this. Our expectations in school, for example, have changed, especially here in North America. We send kids to school younger, and expect academic work out of them earlier. Not long ago, primary or kindergarten was a half day, optional program to introduce kids to the social aspect of school. Now they start teaching them to read, and if they don’t do well they are labeled problems. Not enough physical work and bad diets makes it worse, and at home, with two parents working, they get tv and processed food. Now, these things are not good for girls either, but they are more mature at this age and cope a bit better. Boys often start to fall behind.

Male role models are not in evidence - tv loves the image of the incompetent male. Heroes in movies and books are often rather dark characters, there are fewer groups like Boy Scouts, and many boys have fewer men in their lives. Athletes seem to bear the burden of being role models, but of course they have all the normal quirks of humanity, and display only a very particular form of heroism. There are no intellectual or spiritual heroes.

And the effects on boys are clear. Women have surpassed men in undergraduate enrollments, and in obtaining their degrees. They are entering the workforce and getting good jobs, while boys live at home and play video games. There are still some jobs that have more men, and it would be great if the statistics were a bit more even, though I don’t think we need exact gender splits in every field.

It would be good to have more women in government.

So why is all this happening? Parents both work and don’t have the time to do everything well. Why do they both work - in some cases they want to, but government policies also encourage it, because it contributes to government and national wealth. Government (in the US) won’t protect women’s jobs while they have kids. People have got used to a higher standard of living, often without realizing it. Costs really have gone up - when society has more income, prices go up, and both parents have to work to maintain the same standard.

As for changes in the schools, I think it is closely related - parents need care for their kids while they work. But the parents have been sold the idea that early education is good for their kids. (By whom? Why? I am not sure, but it seems to me to go with a North American idea that more is better, sooner is better, nature can be made better.)

I also think we need to leave behind the idea that a university education is for everyone - it isn’t, and that model hasn’t been good for the kids that end up there, and it has been very bad for universities, who are having to neglect their true purpose to give job skills to these kids.

ABC - well, that is in the mix, but perhaps not in an obvious way. It makes it economical for parents of one or two young kids to work. But I think perhaps it is a symptom in the problem of boys as much as a cause. After all, as a cause, there is no reason it wouldn’t equally affect girls.


#19

#20

Great post! I don’t disagree with any of it! (I used the women have to much power to engage people)


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