Hi everyone. I’ve posted about my mother in other sections of this forum before. But today I started wondering about something that I have had to consistently do latey to calm her down. My mom has a neurodegenerative disease that is very much like dementia, with the only difference being that it progresses at a much more rapid pace. There is no cure and no treatment to slow it down. Her symptoms have gotten very severe lately; she doesn’t recognize our home, and so therefore, she continually asks me to let her walk back to her house…which doesn’t exist. Her parents (my grandparents), passed away about fifteen years ago. However, she now believes that they are still alive and well, and that I am holding her hostage and keeping her from seeing then. Every evening, her hallucinations and delusions will escalate - I think the correct term for it is called sundowning - and she will attempt to escape from the house. Some days, telling her that her parents passed away years ago makes the situation much worse. She screams, tells me I am deceiving her, and lately in her fits of hysteria, she tries to pull her hair out. So I have begun telling her that I called her parents up and let her know that she is okay and safe to be in our house.
Is it wrong to lie to her like that? Is it sinful to lie under these circumstances? I have always had an open and honest relationship with my parents. I feel absolutely terrible to not tell the truth, but it does seem to calm her down more than anything else I have done before. I am not sure how else to handle it, other than continuing to reassure her that she is safe at home with me. I’ve tried playing music that she enjoys, giving her some sweet treats to distract her, putting on sitcoms so she can relax and laugh, etc. But as her condition worsens, not much is working. I guess they call this “therapeutic fibbing.” Maybe I am being overly scrupulous, but I just want to know if this might be considered sinful? Thank you all and God bless.