There has got to be more for married men?


I’m married with children, and feel there is something more out there for me.

As a child a felt called to the priesthood, I then went through my later teens and early 20s away from the church and found my non-catholic wife in this time.

Since my wife and first child I then I re-found my faith and feel there is something more God is calling me to.

If I wasn’t married and had children I would be banging the doors down on a religious community to take me in.

I know there is possibility of becoming a deacon for married men, but I’m not sure if this is it.

I love my wife (now a lapsed Catholic after joining the Church) and children, and wouldn’t change them for the world, but I somehow think I missed my true vocation…


Try one of the many Third Orders for lay people. Yours is a common story of many people I know who join a Third Order. There are different charisms and you should find one for your heart.


Check out the permanent diaconate.

If you’ve ever been called to the Eastern Catholic churches, you may be called to/ for a long road toward transfer of churches and ordination.

It is possible in the meantime to investigate third orders. Oh, and if you haven’t, please find a spiritual director. God bless.


Know that in the mean time, right now, you can bring down graces upon the world. Have you read the story of Fatima? Our Lady asked in 1917 to pray the rosary and do penances for the conversion of sinners and peace in this world. Everything you do can be sanctified for this intention and can be mentioned in your morning offering. This is certainly working in the Lord’s field. The world is desperate for people to pray and do sacrifices!


You can also do much by being the best husband and father. Loving and building a great family will definitely lead you to sainthood.


Technically, ordination of married men to the priesthood is still forbidden in the U.S. However, it has been known to happen, although on rare occasions…


In a Religious community, you would be following the Rule of the community.
A member of a religious order in the 1600’s has his Rule published in a short little booklet called “Practice of the Presence of God: The Best Rule of Holy Life” which you could try on for size to conform your life to holiness, even where you are now; and it would be a good test for you to see yourself in such a role. It took me about an hour to read it (though I am a fairly fast and ravenous reader), but I also keep coming back to it to better understand and obey the rule.

You can read it online free here:
Choose “Read Online” in the “Available Formats” section of the site.

I am indeed in a situation like yours, yet I find my joy in sharing what I know of our Lord in any and every opportunity, and in telling Him in any and everything I do, “This is for you”.


in the eastern rite a married person can legitimately be ordained to the priesthood; however it is forbidden in the latin/roman rite.
discerning one’s vocation is a very delicate issue; but we should also guard against the devil who might to sow the seeds of doubt in order to distract us or lead us astray.

i believe in the beauty of the celibate life of priests and religious: i also believe so much in the beauty of the life of matrimony. they are both vocations through which we can attain santity.


Great responses here. One thing to remember is that for you to follow a vocation (especially in the ordination rites) requires the full support of your wife and family. You say that your wife is a lapsed Catholic, that could be a hindrance if you blossom in your faith but she doesn’t. So you have to be careful about that.

I know that as I continue in my formation for the Permanent Diaconate, the wives are very involved and if they see it as a problem, one word from them could end our formation very quickly. They take it that seriously that our wives are onboard…

Good luck and God Bless!


This may have already been mentioned (I haven’t read the entire thread) but to become a Deacon you need the permission of your spouse. I dimly recall that the spouse must be Catholic but I could be off the mark there.

The reason for the permission requirement, as I understand it, is that the Church feels that he spouse must be on board, given the nature and time requirements of the office.


Is Opus Dei an option? After all, it’s committed to finding God in our everyday life.


It is not permitted in the Eastern churches for the U.S. (And I believe nor in Canada or Australia).


Suggestions about the deaconate and such are good… but also keep in mind that your vocation as father is a heroic vocation. How are you pursuing holiness in your life right now? Are you being a courageous father and husband? Are you leading your family in the faith? Perhaps your dissatisfaction comes more from a life not fully lived than from the wrong vocation. God can make us saints in any life circumstances- we just have to let him.


Terrific responses. I pray you will find the best path to fulfill your quest.



You are not alone my friend…you are echoing my sentiments…father of 4, married, good marriage…devout Catholic…I am about to connect myself with Clear Creek Monastery as a Benedictine Oblate…if there were a Married Priesthood, which I really don’t agree with, ironically, I would be in line for the FSSP…meanwhile, I personally don’t have any interest in the Deaconate,but God Bless these men of service…meanwhile,daily Mass,frequent reception of the Sacraments, annual Spritual Retreats with the Benedictines…pray the LOTH, daily Rosary…trying to read scripture daily, fasting, almsgiving…I try to do these things…and not broadcast it…lets try to remember that marriage is a vocation…and we can lead our family by being the spritual head of the home…advent wreath…lets live our faith…Peace…


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