They know that it is wrong, that is why they hide it


Excellent. So we are in agreement.

They DO know that it offends or hurts the spouse, but they choose to do it anyway. So, they’re hiding it because they know the spouse will be angry, not because deep down they know better.

How is that reason for lying any better?

Maybe if the spouse giving the ‘wrath’ would just lighten up, they wouldn’t have to lie? Oh, I’ve heard that one a time or two.

I never said that hiding things was fine or that continuing to do a certain behavior knowing that it hurts his wife is ok since he doesn’t think it is wrong.

My only point was the logic of “he hides it, therefore he knows it is wrong” is faulty.

That is all.


Gotcha. I will rephrase then. They hide it because they know it’s hurtful to their spouse.

Hopefully they know hurting their spouse is wrong:(


What is there to miss? If you don’t want to be misunderstood use different terms!!


He was mocking your response. You read his initial response, which condemned the activity yet undertook to understand the behavior, and transposed your desire to see him advocating the immoral activity.

It was a clear distinction in the OP - go back and re-read without a predisposition to be outraged and you will see it.


There is no predisposition. He stated " we should all be willing to masturbate in public". If he is trying to say we should be more open, fine. Clean it up. If you’re going to quote me, at least use the right quote.


Actually, the OP was mocking Cluny, Christian Sr took his response as serious, and now the thread has been thoroughly derailed. Huzzah!

Back on topic, I completely agree with the OP. I think the example of smoking was a great one. It isn’t an inherently bad activity (within certain limits that don’t infringe on others, let’s not get derailed there either), but it’s something one might hide from a spouse. Likewise, somebody could see masturbation as not being inherently bad, but still have cause to hide it. The OP isn’t trying to say that masturbation is okay, he seems to be simply demonstrating that people shouldn’t jump to conclusions about others’ motivations.


DISCLAIMER: The views and opinions expressed in these forums do not necessarily reflect those of Catholic Answers. For official apologetics resources please visit