Things are getting really desperate lately


#1

Hello I have had a terrible week and a half. I went to Mass Easter. The priest was talking about resurrection and also about talking to Jesus telling him what you want. Don’t be afraid or embarrassed to tell him. . Well the priesthood situation is now behind me and I am ok with it. But I have had a desire and a dream since I was 16 I told Jesus that since I was 16, and that is to perform Dressage. I am very very good at it and I have ridden Grand Prix. I auditioned for this company that tours with Lipizzaners. I messed up a movement and now after 8 days without hearing from the company, I get an email ON EASTER SUNDAY that at this time we can’t offer you a position, But we will keep your resume on file and bla bla bla. We feel you need more training in Dressage before we can have you work with us. I am having so much trouble handling this situation that I don’t know what to do… I pride myself (the good pride) of being great at it. But I am so upset about that comment that I can’t stand it. I feel like my heart was ripped out of me and it was stepped on. I feel like God could care less about me and I am losing hope cause my life just sucks and that is the way I feel.Everything the priesthood the horses my music career everything is just turning into ****/ I sometimes want to go home in my sleep. Won’t kill myself don’t get me wrong. But if God calls me right now I am so so so ready.
I don’t want to feel this way. Some people will say you need to see a shrink. No, a shrink won’t make me a priest, A shrink won’t bring me my dream No pills will make things happen. I need prayers I am running out of steam. I just can’t take disappointment anymore. What do you do when you feel God is ignoring you?? I don’t need any comments where I am the bad guy or suck it up or anything like that I have sucked it up I have offered it up and I still can’t deal with the disappointments they are taking their toll. God bless Scoob


#2

I’m sorry for your great disappointment. My suggestions would be to talk with a priest about this and to practice more as those people suggested. Then go back to them and audition again. Keep on trying to make your dreams come true.
It must be wonderful to work with horses. They are such noble, beautiful creatures. Pax et Bonum


#3

I’ve been feeling pretty tragic myself the last two days. I got so far spiritually then nothing. It is like well God you got me this far, and at what stage are you going to tell me what I am supposed to do?

Yesterday I felt like packing it all in, that everything appeared to be for nothing. I wanted to know my purpose. I still want to know my purpose.

I am most upset with God. I love him very much but I feel like everything I have done has been for nothing. I gave up all my dreams, all my desires, I returned to the Church, I did the things he willed me to do, I stayed even when I wanted to leave. I go to Confession, I go to mass each week. I survived my purifications, I learnt obedience via suffering, I climbed the mountain and I waited. But now I feel like I am waiting for something that is never going to happen. I only ever wanted to be with Him and know my purpose. He is there but nothing much else is happening.

Disappointment is hard to cope with. So is rejection. But we tend to at times give up too easily. Give up when what we hope for does not materialise. Give up when things go wrong. Lose faith more easily then we think we would.

All I have worked out so far that there is our time and there is God’s time. And that maybe for now I might think I am ready, but he knows I am not. Maybe there are some things you need to experience first. Maybe you will do dressage later, or maybe dressage is your desire, but not his desire for you.

If it weren’t for me having two children, yesterday I would have gone and topped myself. My disappointment in something was so tremendous it overpowered me.

The only suggestion I have, and it irks me when people give me this same advice, is to just put it all up to God and do some prayer and get on with life and find some strength in your disappointment and be patient. He will find you a purpose. It might be what you hope to do, but it also might not be. At the end of the day, following his Will is what we should be aiming to do, even if that is a purpose that might be contradictory to what we want or think we are best suited at.

Sunday one of my staff told me she was giving up on her dream career because she had not gotten the positions she had recently applied for. I asked her why she was giving up so easily? she felt what was the point in trying further. So we had a chat about how somethings in life aren’t meant to be, but new doors open, and we chatted about how one step back isn’t the end of life or her dream career, it just means she might have to study a bit, or learn some more and try again.

Life is full of disappointments, and we can make all the plans we want, but sometimes things happen to unbuckle them or God has a higher purpose for us he has not yet revealed.

Patience is a hard thing to master at times. But if one can learn to be patient, then maybe they won’t go off and make unwise career or vocation moves. All I can do for myself is put it up there and pray about it and get to work continuing what I am doing, which isn’t much, but I try and keep busy.

I will ask Mary to help you. Hope things work out.


#4

These are the times that try us most sorely and are the ones most requiring of Trust, Trust in God, that He knows what He is doing, even if we can’t figure it out and it sure seems pretty painful.

For me, when a particularly beloved door was painfully and suddenly closed for me, I found that going to daily Mass and staying about an hour afterwards in prayer, with some spiritual reading, my rosary, and a prayer book in addition to my daily missal, to be of great help. It took a while, more than a year, but I was able to achieve peace in my surrender to the Lord’s will.

Praying for you -

A Catholic Prayer for Guidance

Lord Jesus, may everything I do begin with You,
continue with Your help,
and be done under Your guidance.
May my sharing in the Mass free me from my sins,
and make me worthy of Your healing.
May I grow in Your Love and Your service,
and become a pleasing offering to You;
and with You to Your Father.
May the mystery I celebrate help me
to reach eternal life with you.


#5

We all suffer from the dark night of the soul. People, go through it , saints go through it , Jesus went through it. Spiritual aridity is a very old story , and just because everyone experiences it doesn’t make it any easier to endure.I’ve experienced the aridity and depression at the same time- not a happy combo.and it took a long time to get out of it… Trying to discern what God’s plan for you can be just that- trying. Many times what we think God wants us to do and what he really wants us to do are totally different. the talents ( hidden and known) he has given us can lead us in a direction that : we don’t want to go, or;: where we don’t think we are qualified to go. the thing is that if God wants you to do it it means you are qualified. God has turned me upside down and inside out and put me in positions that I know (by worldly standards) that I can’t possibly do.But when God says “GO” you go . When He says “DO THIS” you do it.
Getting to this point was a mystery indeed and discerning what His will is for me is not always easy. That has always been difficult for me. Best thing to do, in my view, is to totally submit. Let everything go. Give up your pain, your anguish, your ego and your pride. and just lay it at the feet of Jesus.Letting go of the Self is the hardest thing to do- even with the pain your experiencing. It leaves you totally unarmed, vulnerable and naked. That’s when things started to happened -at the lowest point possible. After I let go, God took up the challenge and pushed and pulled me kicking and screaming to places and things I had no logical business going. And I’ve never been more content.
It is a process of, complete surrender, listening to that small voice, and paying attention to the gifts other people see in you that you have never thought of and your closest friends and relatives can’t see you doing.
Hang in there!


#6

I’m sorry to hear that you’ve had such a bad April so far. I don’t know much at all about horses, being a musician, or your desire, past or present, to become a priest. I do know that when life goes poorly for me, it gives me peace and hope to reflect on the things that I do have. Do you have a job? A home? Food? Running water? Good health? I hope so. These are all things to be thankful for.


#7

In addition to attending Mass and receiving the sacraments often – never give up! I am good with oil painting and writing. I’ve had to hold painfully distasteful “day jobs” to survive. Now I have a stipend and am free to paint, write, sing in choir til I’m blue in the face. Will I make my mark upon the world with it? Perhaps not. But that’s not the point. I can do what I love and I can die with my boots on, God willing. Follow your dreams and heed the call to holiness. :thumbsup:


#8

Hello.

I have heard where Jesus says something to the effect You do something I forget what scripture, I will give you your heart’s desire.

I have told Jesus my heart’s desire and instead of giving it to me he allows people to rip my heart out and step on it. When will this hell ever end??? I am getting to where I am ready to go and meet him in heaven. Could someone tell me where I can find that in the bible where he says he will give you your heart’s desire?? I want to read that scripture and try to understand what he means. Thanks God bless Scoob.


#9

Psalm 37 - Psalm 37:3-4.

3 Trust in the Lord, and do good;
dwell in the land and befriend faithfulness.
4 Delight yourself in the Lord,
and he will give you the desires of your heart.


I hope this is it. I looked it up in a hurry because I have to go off line now. Anyone feel free to correct this. Hope it helps! I think it means place Him first and the rest will follow.:thumbsup:


#10

Thanks so much for that… That is what I was looking for. Yes that was accurate. God Bless Scoob.


#11

Scoob - I just replied to you over in another thread. (I think that was you!)

It’s wonderful to hear that you are good with dressage. I can’t think of a sport that’s better for linking humans with animals.

It’s an old analogy, to talk about soul and body as if they were rider and horse. You wouldn’t let a horse get this depressed and despairing, especially if it was over one mistake in one competition. So treat yourself at least as well as you’d treat a horse. Train yourself to keep trying without taking everything too much to heart.

Even though it feels terrible now, write a polite thank you letter to the Lipizzaner people for giving you a tryout. Ask when the next tryouts will be. Ask them if they have any suggestions of things you can do to improve your skills. Keep it short and sweet-tempered. Make them remember you as a nice person who fully intends to come back again.

Ask yourself what advice you’d give someone else who had this problem. You probably know what sorts of things you should be doing, even if you’re too depressed to have done anything about them.

Cheer up. It’s spring. Things will get better.


#12

Hi scooby
The pain of our apparent failure is always hard to take because we believe in our own minds that we will succeed because we have God on our side. The pain is real and mind numbing and does not allow us to see clearly. I pray that God will help you find peace and know the He will bring Good out of all things. Seek God’s will for yourself even if it is not really what you want at this time, God will open doors for you, so live in hope because God who has already given up his son for you will not reject your pleas. Cheers may God bless


#13

Not too long ago, the Lord tore me away from an athletic pursuit in which I had invested time and money. It was something I absolutely LOVED to do! (figureskating) Maybe I LOVED it too much. Thinking back, I kind of made an idol of my pursuit and preferred it to anything else I did, almost. I thought I was putting God first because I not only went to Mass on Sunday but a couple extra days during the week, holy hour, being on the prayer network, etc. . . However, the Master knocked me off my horse, so to speak, and whispered the word “adventure” in my spiritual ear. I had to forego my great pleasure, but, in the process, my Lord taught me to love Him so much more deeply and to have a more real (personal) relationship with Him. He brought me to a much higher rung on Jacob’s ladder.

The following is a quote from Christian Triumph I don’t really know what that is, but here’s the quote:

“When Abraham Lincoln was a young man, he ran for the legislature in Illinois and was badly swamped. He next entered business, failed, and spent seventeen years of his life paying up the debts of a worthless partner. He was in love with a beautiful young woman to whom he became engaged – then she died. Entering politics again, he ran for Congress and was badly defeated. He then tried to get an appointment to the U.S. land office but failed. In 1856 he became a candidate for the vice-presidency and was defeated. In 1858 he was defeated by Douglas. “IT’S ABOUT TIME YOU QUIT TRYING, ISN’T IT?” inquired a friend. “NO TIME TO QUIT,” was Lincoln’s quick reply. “I’M TOO BUSY PREPARING TO MAKE ANOTHER ATTEMPT” – and Abraham Lincoln wrote his name indelibly in the history of the United States.”

“If you don’t succeed the first time, try, try, again!”


#14

When I feel as you do, I pray the Sorrowful Myssteries of the Rosary. I am coming to realize that Jesus’ prayer of unity is more central to our faith than I ever realized before. By becoming man, and accepting His mission through Baptism, Christ placed Himself in solidarity with mankind.

No matter what we feel or go through, He is there with us, if only we could see Him, or sense Him. Consider His feelings in the Garden of Gethsemane. Almighty God born a babe, immense power powerless by choice, in love. He comes to break the bonds of sin that man could not break on his own. He loves us, heals us, is about to lay down his Life for us–all knowing and seeing each of our sins; knowing each of us who will refuse the gift of His Life. Talk about disappointment and feelings of failure. Even His apostles couldn’t keep watch with Him for an hour. So intense that sweat red as blood poured off of Him.

Go to Him, Scoob, reach out to Him and ask Him to help you. He’s there, He loves you, and knows what is best for you. In my experience, the darkest hours of my life, often allow me to understand and help others in the future, so long as I learn what He knows I need to learn. Whatever happens will work out for your eternal good so long as you love Him. Lean on Jesus–ask Him to help you carry the disappointment as Simon helped Him carry the Cross.

When I broke my leg and was feeling claustrophobic in my splint–I thought I was going to lose it at night in panic, when I thought of Him walking past the woman with a hemorrhage. So I just reached out and grabbed on to His mantle and hung on for dear life. I know it sounds phony, but the next thing I knew, it was morning, and I was at peace and fine. I thught I had dreamed it, but it happened at night for three nights until I had my doctor’s visit and the splint came off. Jesus is with us, Scoob, every step of the way.

I pray that our Blessed Mother will enfold you within the loving confines of her mantle of prayer, and that you will feel the comfort, peace, and love of our Lord over you, around you, and within you.

In Christ’s peace and joy,

Robin


closed #15

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