Things you wish you did while still single


#1

Is there anything you wish you had done while you were still single? I am single and just making sure I am not “missing out” on anything - thanks!


#2

Probably not what you were looking for but…nope. And I got married when I was 18 (almost 19). I can’t imagine doing anything as a single person that I wouldn’t enjoy more with my husband.


#3

nothing here either

very happy with my life all in all

:slight_smile:


#4

Viewing marriage as “losing something” is disordered.


#5

I should have looked more closely at celebate religious vocations.


#6

I got married very young. I had just turned 20 and was a sophomore in College. I wish I had finished school and started a career before I got married. That was my original plan, but things changed. I wish I had been able to travel and become more of an individual. I met my soul mate at age 15 and don’t regret marrying him, we have a happy marriage and three wonderful children. If I could do it all over again and still have this happy marriage and children, I would have insisted on getting married three years later. That just wasn’t possible, he decided to join the military when he was a junior in college, and we couldn’t stand to be apart anymore.

After we married, I transferred to a different college and continued my education, two years later I was pregnant with my first child and I couldn’t bear to not stay home with her and be a full time mom, so I quit school just for awhile, which as quickly turned into eleven years. It was the right choice but I wish, as a woman, I didn’t have to give up so many of my personal dreams to make a family work. I wanted to be a photojournalist and am writing and do photography for a hobby, but it’s difficult to let a dream grow stale and moldy while everything else in my life is otherwise fulfilling.

I sometimes feel sad that his military career is so demanding on our family and that it takes all my energy and focus to be the stability for our family while he has been able to see the world and follow his dreams, while I do all the damage control and shoulder the entire burden of being lonely while providing everything to my children. I can definitely understand many of the struggles of single mothers. I am strong and have had many amazing experiences, met the most wonderful women I will ever meet, as an Air Force Wife. The sacrifice and stress are great and I feel like I’ve been running a 14 year long marathon from one deployemnt or trip to the next. I always rise above the challenges but it has taken a tremendous toll on my physical health, probably from stress and the struggle to balance being both mom and dad while trying to take care of my own health. I guess in a lifestyle like this “something’s gotta give.” It’s always me because I refuse to allow my children to be hurt and struggle unfairly because of their dad’s career.

So, yeah… I wish I had insisted on finishing school and a more balanced marriage, but we’re relatively happy and love each other. He’s in Iraq now. So far, he has spent a total of 3.5 years in combat zones since the war started. Before that, it was Bosnia.


#7

I agree with the OP that you should definitely finish your education before you have kids. I too got married very young and we have 3 beautiful kids (one more on the way!) but I do look at my life and wish I had been able to finish my education. My life as a mother and wife is very fulfilling and busy, but I do worry about if anything should happen to my husband and what I would do to support my family financially. It is always good to have an education, career, or trade to fall back on.

As far as the fun stuff, go to lots of great concerts, learn to do things that you have always wanted to learn (sewing, dancing, whatever), travel, and be happy. Now that I have kids, I just don’t have the time or the money to do those things! I know you are thinking that those things cost money and you don’t have a lot of money, but its only you and you can experience life on the cheap. Go hiking! Go to all the national parks and go to a museum. Have fun!


#8

The only thing I would have changed is I wish I would have found my incredible wife earlier so we could have even shared more things from our past!

We’ve been together for more than 20 years and it still doesn’t seem long enough - even if we live for another 100.


#9

Dating can be a heartless business sometimes. I wish I had been kinder.


#10

LOL…I’m still single…never been married. While I love the single life and the freedom to do what I want to do and go where I want without the concerns of children and husband…I would trade it all for both of those in a second. :thumbsup:


#11

The OP didn’t give me that impression:shrug:. It seems like a perfectly honest and simple question. It is common to hear that people feel that they should have done x y or z before getting married…it is not right or wrong in and of itself. None of us makes right decisions all of the time. We are all bound to wish we had done certain things differently. Now, if it is to the point of obsession or disliking the life we have now, THAT would be disordered.


#12

The only thing I regret not doing is traveling. Since getting married and having children, travel has been virtually impossible. My husband and I have been on such a tight budget with trying to pay down debt that we’ve never even been out of the state or flown in a plane together! Growing up I did get to go out of the country several times to some exciting places, but there is so much more I would have liked to see. Someday, when the kids are older, we’ll take those trips together. Right now, I don’t dare go on an over-nighter with these two holy terrors. :stuck_out_tongue:

I don’t regret not finishing college before my first child was born. It doesn’t make much sense to get a degree and do nothing with it for 10-20 years while you’re raising a family! So later in life I will finish my education and become a psychologist, and by that time I’ll have plenty of experience to back it up!


#13

Figured out how to keep my stuff clean. Now I have a husband and children and no chance to keep everything done.

Figured out that my college degree would get me a minimum wage job with a two hour (each way) commute until I had experience.

Realized that children are exhausting, but still really great.

I could have done all this after getting married, but with how fast kids followed it didn’t work.


#14

If I could start all over again and Knew what I know now, (during my single time in my life), I would have become a Nun. :smiley: :slight_smile:


#15

When I was young and single I now wish I would have NEVER strayed from the Church. It would have saved me a lot of heartache and regrets.


#16

Same here,
I don’t think we are meant to be single (at all).
I would trade it instantly for a wife and family.

But got to Love God, he has given a good female (the church) and a ton of spirtual children to look after till that day. They keep me sooooo busy!

My only regret as a single is that I didn’t open my heart to them earlier in life.

When I went to Paris last year for a business trip I was able to see Norte Dame. I felt depressed because I did not have anyone to share it with.

God Bless,
John


#17

I wish I had finished my master’s degree before I got married. I finished everything but 3 classes and since I got pregnant right away after getting married it is soooooooo difficult to go back to school.

There are also many things I’m happy I actually did to before getting married. For example, I traveled as much as I could. Paying for one person to go on vacation is a lot easier than paying for two. I also made great friendships and had a lot of fun with my girlfriends. Now that I’m married I have less time to spend with them, but since we were so close before we got married our friendship is strong enough to make it through times when we are too busy to get together.

I also kind of regret spending so much time and energy waiting, hoping, and looking for “the one.” Now that I’ve been both single and I’ve been married I realize that I can’t say that one is better than the other. They are just different stations or vocations in life that come with their own blessings and challenges. I should have spent less time pining because the grass is certainly not greener on the other side (this works both ways). I should have just appreciated the life that I had at the time instead of always hoping for the future. I feel the need to qualify this by saying, yes I am also happy in my marriage.


#18

Another thing I wish I had done when I was single was live on my own. I moved from my parents home into my marriage home. I think that living alone would have let me know myself a bit better. How I like things organized, how I keep things clean (or not!), how to budget myself. I think it would have also given me a better sense of myself, my personal style for decorating and stuff. My husband and I luckily found these things out together without much rift, but I know other couples who discover after being married that their partner LOVES orange and huge floral patterns while they are a post modern kinda person! I think it is a good thing to know yourself, your likes and dislikes.


#19

I assume by “we” you mean “me and my wife”. Some people are indeed called to the single vocation.

I think the only thing I wish I had done differently is travel more. DH doesn’t like to go to big cities. I love 'em. I wish I’d done a few trips with my best female friend who also loves cities. I suppose I still could at some point, but I think I’d miss DH too much. I went to a scientific conference in April without him, ended up spending most of the free time with my labmates because I didn’t know anyone else, and decided that DH is coming with me next time.


#20

I wish I had finished college before I got married (the first time).

But that had more to do with the fact that I got a great job programming computers while still in college than getting married. Still, marriage meant that I could not quit my job and finish my degree.

Now that I am single again, between paying off my son’s college and taking care of my elderly mom, I do not have the time or resources to go back.

At least my son is a college graduate. :thumbsup:


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