Thinking of my son crying for me while I am out of town


#1

I am going out of town for 3 days and even though it is part business, part visiting with my sister, I can’t help but feel awful about going.

I know my 5 year old will be fine but my 2 year old boy cries for me. It makes me so sad. I never go out of town and very rarely get to go visit my sister.

Ohh…the guilt!!!


#2

Instead of thinking about your son crying for you, why don’t you instead think about the special time he will have with his dad?


#3

Don’t think about it :wink:

Really, he’ll be fine. Think about your happy reunion. —KCT


#4

I don’t blame you for feeling terrible. Is the trip absolutely necessary?


#5

This probably won’t make you feel better, but…

I had to go out of town for a few days and my son (2 at the time) cried and cried when I was leaving. When I got to my destination I called home and asked dh how ds was. He said, “Oh, don’t worry about it. I gave him an otter pop and he hasn’t asked for you since.” :rolleyes: Shows where I rate. Bottom line, he’ll get over it. Plus, it makes it that much sweeter to come home.


#6

Awwww, that’s going to be so hard on you. But you’ll get over it!


** I still feel “guilty” when I have to leave Lily with my hubby and go throw in a load of laundry, LOL. But most of the time she doesn’t miss me and the times she does cry haven’t killed her (or me) yet.**


Try to focus on the good aspects, like baby and daddy special time, a break for you, and how his little eyes are going to light up when you return home again!!!


It’s ok to feel anxious and nervous and a little bad about leving him, but please don’t let it consume you and ruin your trip.


Malia


#7

I second this!:thumbsup:


#8

When is it?
When my son was small, he would miss me terribly. So I started to wear t-shirts to bed. Just for one night. I would save them. If I went out of town, he could then wear them to bed when I was gone. Or cuddle with them for nap time, or if it got really bad, he could just wear them.

My husband said that it really worked. :shrug: If you have time, give it a try.


#9

The trip is partly necessary for “work” but definately necessary for my sanity. :slight_smile:

My hubby is really supportive and says that I need a break. He told me to go and have fun and I know the kids will be well taken care of. He is a fantastic dad!

My son is actually 2 1/2 and I don’t want to “abandon” him but he is definately more needy than my 5 year old daughter. I’m just kind of pooped out with all the extra speech therapy clingyness, etc. I am using the work trip as an opportunity to visit my sister while in NYC too. Sigh…Did our parents feel this guilty when they went out of town?


#10

I wouldn’t go unless all could go. Maybe your sister would like to see her nephew and niece (and brother in law).


#11

You’re not abandoning him! You’re going on a business trip and visiting your sister. You’ll be back.

Taking this time for yourself is not selfish or pointless. It’s good for sisters to spend time together :slight_smile: . —KCT


#12

Great idea!


#13

You could sneak out… Our 2 year old cries when he notices his dad leaving for work in the morning. So we’ve gotten creative, and hubby sneaks a good-bye kiss without Joey knowing what’s going on. Then I distract Joey in another room while hubby makes a quick escape, and no more tears :slight_smile: Good luck, I’ll pray it goes well for you!


#14

Obviously books are just sources of information and not always right (well, all except one that is), but I read that that’s not a good approach and the rationale made a lot of sense to me.


**In a nutshell, the child has to learn that when mommy or daddy leave, that they DO come back. The only way to teach them this is for them to see you (or daddy) leave and then realize that you come back later. **


While what you are doing is obviously working and not causing any problems, for some children this sets up a constant state of paranoia that mommy or daddy could “disappear” at any time without warning so many kids become clingy and fearful.


Just wanted to throw out that side of the coin.


Malia


#15

Good point! I hadn’t thought of that aspect. I wonder, though, if Mommy being away for 3 days wouldn’t cause paranoia even if she does say good-bye and tells him she’ll be back. 3 days is a long time for a 2 year old. My mom used to distract me when I was 2 when my dad left for work, and I didn’t have any problems. But I might have been the odd one out :slight_smile:


#16

LynnieLew:
Make a paper chain. One for every day or morning or even meal. Have Daddy and little one tear off one chain every time the day, morning, meal happens. Have the last one say, Mommy comes home.


#17

My kids cry when I leave for work in the morning. They cry when their mother runs out to the store and leaves me with them.

Let’s face it – little kids cry, that is what they do.

Funny thing is that they usually get over it seconds after I or my wife am out the door.


#18

Amen to this wise daddy’s post.

It’s an excellent chance for you husband to enjoy the kids and for you to enjoy your time away.

We need not always guilt ourselves because we are not home for every waking moment. Parents also need so revitalization time.
Have a wonderful time then love your litle folks up when you get home.


#19

Lynnie,

I know how you feel. I have not seen my 3 beautiful kids and my amazing (pregnant) wife for 14 days and counting…however, I will see them on Friday evening. I cannot wait.

I have been relocated to a different state for work and can tell you that is is difficult. I know that at first the kids really missed me and they still do now, but they have fell into a routine with thier mother, who is one of the strongest women on this earth, and while I know that they miss me, they are just being “kids” day to day.

I continue to think that while this is my cross to bear, only a few more days, I try to remember those that are serving our country, our soldiers, that may not see their families for months or even years. God bless them. What a cross they have to bear!


#20

It is not abandoning your child when you are leaving them with their FATHER.

Okay, so I hope this is not going to sound morbid but here is what I reminded myself of whenever I had anxiety about leaving my kids with dad…If/when I were to ever drop dead from whatever, who would raise my children…that’s right, dad! Who would put them to bed, feed them, give them love?

God gave those children to him too, his role is just as important as yours…go and have a nice time it is only for three days.


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