This particular speaking

Sometimes when we argue with people about what’s right and wrong, or what’s good or bad, the person will state something like, “You’re not in my position so you don’t know anything! What if you’re being me, see what you’re going to say/do!”

It’s a challenging words of leaving our own position, isn’t it? And if we try the challenge, I’m thinking that we’ll be like sheep going into the devil’s trap. And we leave our own personal responsibilities.

Not sure what I’m trying to say here, maybe some opinions or view about this. Or how to say or react to such challenge.


It’s generally a bad idea to start with what’s right and wrong. We often fall in this trap. Speaking about what’s right and what’s wrong is presenting a conclusion. A conclusion must have a set of premises, or in simpler terms a “Why?”. Why is it right or wrong to do that.
In order to make a compelling argument, you must first know the reasons why something is right or wrong. Ergo: you must learn and know your faith first, in order to arrive at a conclusion.
It’s a good thing that you have the courage to say things that you know to be wrong, but never forget to recognize the things that are good.
Drawing people in to the “net of joy”, as Blessed Mother Theresa put it, is to “present the hope that is in you”, as saint Peter told us (1Pt 3,15).
My advice is, speak clearly about your faith, and never cease to pray and study the Faith.
God bless you!

Hi anixx,

Thank you very much for your comment. Yes, i think it’s because of too fast in jumping to conclusion. This is what I’m afraid I’ve done many times, that I’ve becoming guilt ridden.

But somehow I’m sure that major percentage of my conclusions weren’t wrong.

If you want your discipleship to be effective, first of all keep yourself in a state of sanctifying grace. Go to Confession often, go to the Lord and acknowledge your humility. Only after you have become light to the world, may you shed light on the sins of others, always with compassion and love.

Since right and wrong don’t actually depend on who we are, when a person says something like “you just don’t understand because you’re not in my position” (and, of course, assuming that we do understand the morality of it from moral reasoning), then what is usually going on is that making the choice they are being told is right is/would be painful for them.

Unfortunately, there is no guarantee that making the right choices and avoiding the wrong ones won’t be painful, and so while we should always be sensitive to this pain, and know when and how to discuss such issues (as well as being absolutely sure that what we say is necessary actually is), in the end such statements usually (in my experience) don’t say and don’t try to say anything about the morality of the issue in question whatsoever. It may very well be that because we are not in their position that we cannot understand how hard the issue is for them, but that does not mean that we can’t understand right and wrong.

DISCLAIMER: The views and opinions expressed in these forums do not necessarily reflect those of Catholic Answers. For official apologetics resources please visit