Those Ladies Nights Out without husbands


#1

So I live in a pretty small rural mountain town. I have lots of married friends with children. I love going out to coffee with these ladies. We will either meet at the local coffee shops or each others homes. Our families get together on weekends.

Lately the big trend is to ditch the husbands and kids at night and go to one of the local bars to listen to bands or what ever. I have pretty much always declined and would rather be with my family or with another couple.

I guess my question is.....WHAT DOES EVERYONE ELSE THINK OF THE LADIES NIGHT OUT AT THE BAR STUFF????????????????????:shrug:


#2

It depends, are the ladies acting like ladies or acting like they wanna find boyfriends :)


#3

I can understand the need to be for a ladies night out. When we were stationed in Georgia, there was a mothers group that had a mothers night out every night, usually met at local restaurant.

Personally, I don't see the need for an event centered around alcohol. The bar setting would make me uneasy.


#4

As guy, I’d want by wife/girlfriend to go out with the gals every now and than. Both genders need a bit of time to hang out with just one another.

Nothing wrong with it all. If you think their might be, just ask yourself, “Would I be comfortable with my husband doing this?” if the answer is yes, than your all good. If the answer is no, than don’t do it.


#5

Liked your post and 100% agree


#6

*This…

Yes, I have had gf’s who were single (and sadly married ones too) who were looking for some fun and attention from men. I don’t bother with those types of ladies night out. I went out to dinner with one of my daughter’s friend’s moms the other night…dinner, had a drink…it was a blast. I don’t think married women should be hanging around in bars, frankly…but then again, running clubs are apparently a source of all kinds of weirdness, too…so what do I know? :shrug:*


#7

[quote="PatriceA, post:3, topic:194633"]
Personally, I don't see the need for an event centered around alcohol. The bar setting would make me uneasy.

[/quote]

I agree. Why do these women feel the need to go to a bar?


#8

[quote="srlucado, post:7, topic:194633"]
I agree. Why do these women feel the need to go to a bar?

[/quote]

I don't hang out at bars but what's the problem? As long as there is a designated driver....

Like I said there not my thing, but I don't see a problem with it.


#9

I misspent a great deal of my youth in bars, and they’re just not healthy places to be.

I’ve seen otherwise sane and self-possessed people (including married men and women) do some pretty stupid things under the influence. (Not that I’ve ever done anything stupid while drunk, of course…)

Not everyone who goes to a bar is looking for trouble, but it lurks there anyway. What starts out as innocent fun can become neither innocent nor fun pretty darned quick.


#10

And nine times out of ten, most people are there looking to meet a member of the opposite sex.

Like you said RascalKing about being comfortable with my husband going to a bar with his buddies, maybe once or twice in a great while I’d be ok with him going to a bar. But if its a regular occurance, I’d really have to wonder why they have to go to a bar to have some guy time. Why can’t it be at a sporting event, or fishing, or golfing.

Its not about the partaking of alcohol when a spouse needs a night out, its where they are going to hang out together and if the main activity of getting together is to drink, it just becomes very suspect.


#11

I don’t know. There are some great bands that play in bars (at least, locally). I enjoy the music, I just don’t drink while there. I also don’t look for other women while there.

I see both of your points though, you and srlucado.


#12

I can understand wanting to hear some good music, especially local bands, and most of the time you can only go to hear them in a bar setting. That’s actually how me and my husband met, we were both at the bar only to hear a particular band…

But now, after being married for close to 12 years, I’m not going out with a bunch of other married ladies all the time to hear music in a bar. If the music is really what I’m going to the bar for, I’m bringing my husband.


#13

My Dad goes to the bar on Friday night to see his buddies. There’s nothing else to do around here. Nothing wrong with it


#14

I like to hear live bands.


#15

You know this cracked me up


#16

Fair enough, but why leave the spouse at home, then?


#17

If someone wants to cheat or get into trouble, then they can find it anywhere. I know people who were betrayed by spouses who used church activities at the parish as cover. . . the venue is not the most important factor in that kind of trouble.

I’ve met up with my sisters from church in a place that was restaurant/bar or even mostly bar with snacks after going to mass or other things or just once in awhile to catch up. Those who want to order a cocktail can and those who don’t (like nursing moms or others who simply never drink) just eat “fun food” like the fattening appetizer no one would normally order and we talk and laugh like no one has any cares for that hour or two. Everyone kisses and hugs and goes right on home to their loved ones afterward. A few of us love live music so we go together on occasion married and single alike to hear bands or to concerts. The husbands are actually quite secure with their wives hanging out with dear friends who would not lead them into sin and who would be certain that all make it home safely. I believe that some “bars” are more “meat market” than music venue/social hangout, so we avoid those types of places. However, the company one keeps and one’s own behavior/morality is more important than the venue.


#18

[quote="srlucado, post:16, topic:194633"]
Fair enough, but why leave the spouse at home, then?

[/quote]

I believe the idea here is for the women to socialize while listening to live music they like. A date with the husband would be something completely different and would also entail hiring a babysitter or something.

I see nothing inherently wrong with this, as long as there's no excessive drinking or other sinful behavior the OP would indulge in. Which doesn't sound very likely. And she could ask her friends what they get up to. There are so many different types of bars.

My husband plays in the band I'd mostly like to hear, so he can't watch the kids while I do :shrug:. He hates going out because gigs are his job, so he stays at home the other nights of the week. My "ladies' night out" means going to the theater with a friend every now and then ;).


#19

I am okay with this much, in fact it is necessary in a marriage for both husband and wife to have some time with other friends that is not couple or family time, but bars? no. not if you mean clubbing as in meeting men, dancing etc. the girls ought be be able to find plenty to do that does not involve risky behavior or shopping. the bar is not bad per se, social hour with coworkers after work to talk things over, going to hear a great jazz band, line-dancing, but if you mean the other stuff that goes on in the beer commercials, NO and no to strippers since it seems that is another common loony idea of fun date for the girls.


#20

[quote="kage_ar, post:2, topic:194633"]
It depends, are the ladies acting like ladies or acting like they wanna find boyfriends :)

[/quote]

Ditto this. I personally don't find the latter kind of activity fun anymore, and my husband would NOT like it at all. So, no fun for me. :D


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