Thoughts on Cohabitation


#1

I work w/ a 20 yr old girl who lives w/ her boyfriend in her parent’s house. Their vehicles are jointly owned and both contribute to household expenses.

The girl said recently that she doesn’t feel comfortable with the fact that boyfriend makes more money, therefore contributes more. Even though she is a p/t student and works p/t, she is thinking of getting a second job. (boyfriend is not in school and works f/t)

It made me ponder cohabitation before marriage. I wonder if couples are trying to be sure each person can give their 50%. Kind of like seeing if the other person will pull their weight!

Those of us who are married know that each person needs to give 100%, not 50%. Division of labor is not always 50/50.

It just made me wonder if cohabitating couples (at least this one) are looking to see that things will be “fair” before they commit.

I could be totally wrong, but it’s something that crossed my mind. Any thoughts?

—KCT


#2

I think it is more indicative of their approach to marriage. They are self-centered and each person is expected to take care of him/herself. If that’s the case, why marry? They aren’t cohabitating because they are seeing if they can divide the labor equally. This third issue (its all about ME) is the reason for both the division of bills/finances/labor, and the cohabitation. That’s my take.


#3

I think this is right on! It seems like they are still living single lives in their mentality- like when I shared a house with four of my girlfriends and we all had our share to pitch in and didn’t like it if it was unbalanced (more so on the side of one person not contributing their share).


#4

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