Thread for Courageous/same sex attracted males


I don’t know if anyone else has started a thread like this here. But I thought it would be a good idea. I’ve posted before in Courage online but posting takes such a long time and isn’t as interactive as this forum.

Naturally, this isn’t a thread for those who are liberal in thinking. But for those who want to connect with other guys who share similar experiences and problems to different degrees brought about( for one) by same sex attractions(ssa).

I thought of starting this thread because I was surprised recently to encounter one guy with ssa who strove for chastity…but didn’t seem to have ssa in “full force.” I didn’t realize that one could have exclusive ssa but avoid a number of problems regarding chastity early on.

Anyway, hope to discuss things here in a charitable way that we usually are not able to on Courage online or maybe even in the Courage group.


Ben, I saw your post over on CourageOnline. I didn’t know about the Catholic Answers Forum and am glad to be aware of it now. Thanks for starting this thread devoted to ssa issues. I’m interested in seeing how this goes across.

Sure thing Russ. I also found a new Catholic chat site. I posted it on COL this morning. I’ll write more a bit later. As you see, of all the people who looked into this thread, you’re the first to reply. Hope to see you online…or at least posts will be faster over here.


Hi Ben et al,
Just joined this thread. Not very familiar with it. Will get the hang of it in due time.

HI GUYS, I also just joined this. Looking forward to conversing. Looks like an interested place with much to offer…


Hi guys and Frank in particular(I see you’re online now…the green dot next to your name indicates that). Hope everyone finds the website as useful Iast I have over the past year. There have been past discussions here on ssa. Besides it would be good for others(non-ssa) interested in this topic to see exactly how one can be a Catholic and struggle with this at the same time. Or simply be here to chat.


**Hello all and thank you for this thread.

Glad to see some folks from COL !

I am a Catholic man with SSA who has been involved with Courage and I support the goals of the group.

One question, though:

Why is this thread addressed only to “males” ?

I don’t mean to sound critical, but I think this might be a good point of discussion.**

I’m new to COL… Saw the idea for this thread in Daily COL Digest. I think it’s a good idea. Hope to spend some more time here sharing and learning.:thumbsup:

Hello everyone, I have been on COL for several years and went to face-to-face meetings for a few years. I am also the moderator for the Courage Married email list.

God Bless

Although I don’t have SSA I would like to just pop into the thread and say hi to everyone and give you all a warm welcome. I hope that you all enjoy Catholic Answers and I hope to see you around the forums.

Welcome and God Bless you:)

HI Urban hermit,

Welcome to the thread. I started it but by no means want to control it or police it like a moderator. There are moderators here for that. Anyway, since this was just on a trial basis and an idea I had at the moment…I guess I wrote down “males” out of a whim of the moment. You know how male bonding is important to us with ssa. But by no means do I think it should be kept that way. I just seemed more manageable at that time that way. Maybe we could change the title later. But if that’s too late…and this idea works out…we could start a new thread…or anyone can as a matter of fact.

Ben :slight_smile:

This website seems pretty amazing. So many different topics covered. A great place to ask questions. I hope they can take all the questinos I may end up asking…lol… Thanks for posting this at Courage Ben. I also really like that its much more immediate.


Blessedstar…Thanks for the kind words and warm welcome…

A few more thoughts came to my mind after the last thing I posted. Well, another reason I guess I might have posted this thread under the title “for same sex attracted males” was that I noticed that it was usually the guys in COL who were often mentioning that they wished they could chat, or that messages would be posted faster, call each other on phone, or see each other profiles etc. Maybe the guys are just more vocal…not sure:confused:

In addition, some other concerns also came to my mind on the manageablity of the thread. For one thing, we certainly don’t want to have this thread closed down(and that can happen) if the discussion here goes beyond the boundaries of Catholic Answers.

And, unless some of the moderators join…well we wouldn’t necessarily have their expertise in answering some questions and issues. This certainly wouldn’t be a substitute for COL but it might be a good place to hang out :slight_smile: Like a clubhouse :smiley: Or dinner after the Courage(or COL) meeting.

Finally, I’ve posted in this forum in the past under a different name on different ssa issues and personal concerns. I have to say that it was very gratifying to hear from non ssa and ssa guys and women alike their voices concerning our issues. Helpful to see reality. However, once, I did encounter one guy who just expressed some hatred for ssa guys and didnt believe in Courage. The other courage guys thought he might have ahd ssa himself. So take it all with a grain of salt…it’s still a safe environment with a certain amount of risk. Plus, obviously, this isn’t a a strictly ssa or “closed group” forum. So there are the pluses and minuses. Take what you need and leave the rest I guess. :wink:

Okay, that ends my speech and prolonged intro. I guess it’s time to open the floor to everyone…hopefully.

God bless.


Well, first of all let me say…Ben started the thread. And I think he has the right to call it what he likes and throw it open to whomever he likes. As he said, I’m sure he wouldn’t exclude any woman that wanted to post. But he’s perfectly within his rights to start out with just men.

I think its a good idea to focus the thread. Men have different problems than women, and bring similar circumstances to the table. Besides, anyone who wants a thread open to both men & women can start their own. This is a new thread started by someone who just had an idea and wanted to see if it could do some good, so why question him/it right out of the box? No one’s forcing participation, right? Look for the good rather than the bad.

I’ve had ssa at times, but it was confusing to me. I hope to get some questions answered here when they come up.

Loving one another with the centre being Jesus with the help of the Holy Spirit to guide us is a healthy way of keeping the forum in keel with God’s wishes i guess. Meaning much discernment and no judgment and we will see all people as sons and daughters of God.I have a number of ssa people at work and they are treated equal in my eyes.
I havent met a Catholic or Christian ssa yet, but then I don’t ask either.
God bless you all brothers and sisters

Everything about sexuality is confusing whether you have a SSA or not. Being a teen is confusing and throwing the hormones into the picture even makes it more confusing. It is normal as a teen to occasionally be attracted to anything that moves. It is a misconception in today’s society that if you feel any attraction at all to members of the same sex that makes you “gay”. Feel free to ask away, if you feel that your SSA is more then a passing phase I suggest joining the online Courage support group at they also have a youth support group.

That’s the thing…you don’t know if it’s a phase until you’re out of it!!

You can’t be totally sure it’s a phase until you are out of it but you can get a good idea. If you have specific questions that you don’t feel comfortable asking in the group feel free to PM me but there are things to think about in determing if it is a phase.
Things to think about are how much are you attracted to members of the opposite sex versus those of the same sex. If you only have a “passing” attraction to members of the same sex but are also attracted to members of the opposite sex then it may be a phase. If you can’t even picture yourself as being interested in a woman then it may be more then just a phase. Also is the attraction feed by other factors (i.e. porn, close encounters, etc.) but when you don’t have those outside factors you don’t feel that way? Then it may be a phase. It is also normal to be curious about members of the same-sex. If it is just a curiosity vs. lust then it is just a phase. The mainstream media makes it out that if you are at all attracted to guys that means you are “gay”. In reality many people have degress of a same-sex attraction. That degree can vary person to person and over time. Its what we do with that attraction that defines who we are and whether we are living according to Church teaching.

God Bless

DISCLAIMER: The views and opinions expressed in these forums do not necessarily reflect those of Catholic Answers. For official apologetics resources please visit