Three Principals For Honoring Your Husband

The Skill of Submission
The Sweetness of Seduction
The Sanctity of Surrender

A husband is commanded to love and cherish his wife, and that is not and should never be dependent on his emotions or that his wife seems to earn or deserve it, he is commanded. So too is a wife to respect her husband; But, in this day and age of popular opinion courtesy of the entertainment industry or their girlfriends who are so influenced, in place of God’s Word. This is reinforced by several generations of seeking “equality” combined with (actually resulting in) an ever increasing population of single-parent homes where matriarchal authority is seen as a balance in our modern and “enlightened” societies resulting in the inevitable destruction of the family unit and break in handing down the traditions of our Christian/Jewish western culture. The very object of the enemy!
Submitting To Your Husband
The mental defenses go up for many women when they hear the dreaded S-word! Does God’s word sit in judgment of our society or does our society sit in judgment of God’s word? Obviously the act of submission is voluntary, because if forced to do the will of others it is safe to say that the will is oppressed. Tony Evans uses the illustration of a yield sign. When challenged by oncoming traffic, a mistake in judgment will often result in some degree of collision or emergency action. Ephesians 5:22 we see God tells wives to submit to their husbands “as to the Lord.”
You want to hear “I love you.” We want to hear “I respect you.” Usually the opposition stems from the view that husbands are not worthy of respect, locking the marriage into a vicious cycle that few can recover from. 1Peter 3:1-2, where the apostle wrote “In the same way, you wives, be submissive to your own husbands so that even if any of them are disobedient to the word, they may be won without a word by the behavior of their wives, as they observe your chaste and respectful behavior,” Two concepts of submission and respect. A woman shows respect by not preaching, criticizing him and his lifestyle, brow-beating and manipulating…simple bullying. How would you like to be treated where you work? A boss that micromanages your every move, soon you would tire of being treated like you do not have a brain and you would want to leave.
Submission does not mean that a woman has to deny who she is, nor, NEVER can anyone be commanded to commit what they know to be a grave sin, EVER!!! But, when all of the facts are on the table and all equal input is offered, he is charged with the responsibility of the decision. Submission has everything to do with function, not being. It does not signify a wife is inferior to her husband in terms of her worth to God.
The Sweetness of Seduction

A Godly woman’s true adornment cannot be bought at a department store or acquired in a beauty shop. The problem today is that so much of the “beauty” we see today is store-bought. It requires regular trips to the store, stylist and nail salon to maintain. Sadly it is true that so many have to “put on their face” because it simply is not the real person. When a woman can no longer distinguish between herself and her outer adornment for her worth and Identity, she has gone beyond the biblical standard.
What is the content of a Godly Woman’s adornment? “The imperishable quality of gentle and quiet spirit.” 1peter 3:4, does give direction as does the Scripture, “A virtuous woman is more precious than rubies.” It is the inner beauty that will be ever endearing by the way she conducts herself and responds to him through the willing submission and honor that she shows her husband.
A Christian wife may be good looking on the outside, but, who cuts her husband with her words, runs him down to her family and friends and dishonors him in the children’s presence is not beautiful in God’s definition. When her inner adornment of a woman’s spirit is missing or messed up, no amount of jewelry or clothing or anything store-bought enhancement can hide the ugliness. As a man can only lead by example and influence, so too is it for a wife. The inner transformation will never wrinkle or fade. Your spiritual adornment is precious to God and when God sees it, He will do what you cannot do and will work where you cannot reach. He will go to work on your husband.

The Sanctity of Surrender
Jesus’s example on the cross helps us see what it means to surrender to God’s divine plan. He willingly laid down on the cross and stretched out His arms to be nailed down because it was His Father’s will. Many wives feel like they are being crucified in their marriages and when it seems like being appreciated or even noticed for their sacrifice, the fear of surrender becomes very real. It can only be done as in tithing or any act of faith, God can only reward his blessings when we do our part to make it possible. God in His wisdom does not reward our rebellion only to continue in evil. God will create the opportunity to win your husband over and ultimately it is God that is glorified; Not you or your husband. In cases of abuse, nothing says that a spouse has to live with another and professional help should be sought if any family member is in physical and emotional behavior. Often an abused person will turn into an abuser. It is a defense mechanism to protect from being abused.
When marriages are out of sync with God’s will, disaster is waiting to happen. We can see the disaster unfold in the first marriage in history. In his temptation of Eve in the garden of Eden, he persuaded Eve to ignore Adam and assume the role of leadership that Adam was supposed to have. Adam failed in his lack of leadership and ultimately he was responsible for the entrance of sin at his feet.

In my opinion, woman has to be the " New Eve of her Husband " , I mean: a Sweetheart, a Love, a Lover, a Beloved, a Companion, a Friend, a Best friend, a Girl-friend, a Bride, a Wife and a Mother (a female), an Educator, a Teacher, a Professor, a Mistress, a Muse, a Guide, a Helper, a Schoolgirl, a Student and a Follower, a Doctress, a Nurse.

In a meaning that has to be material, spiritual and religious.

You know what, the more I thought about the Christian view of wives submitting to husbands and husbands loving wives, the more I got all confused and resentful.

I now do what’s best for my marriage and don’t think about the rest. I support him when he needs support and I back off when I know I won’t win “this” argument.

Divorce is so prominent, so I have just decided to beat to my own drum and do what’s best for MY marriage without thinking about being “submissive” and all that stuff.

Agreed. In most countries, women can vote, drive, own property, etc. Welcome to the 21st century.

Let’s leave this… other stuff… behind.

I don’t think this is about what Christ taught but rather what some want women to be.

I agree too.

I understand the scriptures but still can’t help but think this is a dirty word. It gives me a bad taste in my mouth when I’m told I have to be submissive.

I’m curious did you read the whole article up there.

There really should not be much to leave a bad taste in your mouth if you take the “S” word with what it really means and not what you perceive it to mean.

Is this your own words, or are you quoting an article or blog? If so, please provide a link to the source.

You’re not in my marriage. You have no idea as to what I practice or don’t practice.

I will respectively now unsubscribe from this thread b/c it will become toxic very quickly and I want no part of it.

I can understand your confusion and even resentment when you have a husband that is not loving you the way Christ loves the Church. Truthfully, I doubt many of us have a husband that is fully capable of that, but if they aren’t even trying…well…it can make you angry and it can hurt.

I do like the part in this article though where it talks about surrendering to God’s divine plan. Realizing we don’t always know what is best for ourselves is sometimes a huge break through in our own faith journey. Try and remember that God does use wives to sanctify their husbands. Your submission is much more about you following God’s divine plan, then it has to do with your husband. I am no expert, nor am I a perfect submissive wife, but I am seeing how God can use me and I’m learning to submit to His Will even in my marriage.

I also see that people often carry these same, they know best about THEIR marriage, thoughts over into areas like contraception, truly believing they know better than God, better than the Church about what is best for their marriage.

Many people then begin to say or feel the same about abortion.

The truth is though, that we can do what we THINK is best for our marriage, but if it goes against God’s teachings, then it likely is not what is best for our own or our husband’s souls?

Perhaps I’m wrong, but I didn’t read this reply to you as being negative. I read it as them saying, that the whole article wasn’t what Christ taught, but what some want to believe or believe He taught.

I too think we have to be careful how we follow other’s thoughts on such things. We are lucky to have the Church as our guide. You should do what is best for your marriage as long as it is in the perimeters of God’s word and teachings through Christ’s Church. If you step outside of that, then you are right, things will be toxic all around, not only in the thread but in your own life even if it seems doing things your own way are easier or better in the moment.

This topic of “submit” has been covered by Bro. JR.

forums.catholic.com/showthread.php?p=9171891#post9171891

It´s possible for a woman to be submissive to her husband if indeed the husband is doing a good job in being the spiritual leader and a good provider in the home.

The bible not only states that the wife should be submissive but that the Husband should also love their wives just like Christ love the Church.

THe key to this sentence is that Christ loved the Church and gave His life for his Church. With that love, came respect. This is the ideal Catholic marriage!

A husband should love and respect his wife in order for the wife to submissive and put all her trust to her husband. That being said, reality is very different, not all men due to our sinful nature, love the Church just like Christ did and not all men give the respect their wives deserves. Because of this, women should not put up with an abusive behavior. WOmen should not tolerate abuse and women has the right to correct the treatment she is receiving from her husband. Good communication is essential to the success of a marriage.

Actually, I was supporting your take on this. I feel that some like to pick what they want to try to impose their view that women should submit. Some even say that God made women subordinate to men.

Did not mean to upset you.

Please don´t unsubscribe to this thread. Your contributions are greatly appreciated. We all learn from each other !

JPII spoke of mutual submission in marriage. As WH has linked, JReducation has also explained this at length.

I do not think you should make a personal comment about anyone or her husband.

The points you have referred to - surrendering to God’s will etc would apply equally to a husband.

Yes, that was what I meant, thank you.

In my opinion, woman has to be the " New Eve of her Husband " , I mean: a Sweetheart, a Love, a Lover, a Beloved, a Companion, a Friend, a Best friend, a Girl-friend, a Bride, a Wife and a Mother (a female), an Educator, a Teacher, a Professor, a Mistress, a Muse, a Guide, a Helper, a Schoolgirl, a Student and a Follower, a Doctress, a Nurse.

Man has to be the " New Adam of his wife" , I mean: a Sweetheart, a Love, a Lover, a Beloved, a Companion, a Friend, a Best friend, a Boy-friend, a Bridegroom, a Husband and a Father (a Male), an Educator, a Teacher, a Professor, a Master, a Mentor, a Guide, a Helper, a Schoolboy, a Student and a Follower, a Doctor, a Nurse.

In a meaning that has to be material, spiritual and religious.

Egality and equity are the keys. Otherwise, it is very strange, so weird, so odd, so rude, not human, very animalistic, very primary, very sexist, very feminist, masculinist, machist, very puritanical, very victorian…etc.

In the marriage, the female is for the male, and the male is for the female. Humanity is male and female, both of them (two genders). The true Love, I mean the charity in the freedom of each one of members of couple (body and soul), is the conjugal love. Without that, True Love is not existing.

The Marital love means: Love, Obligations, Duties, Rights , Charity and True Liberty: moderation is also the key.

I didn’t intend to make it personal. I was using you in the tense of others(all of us).

I’m pretty sure that no matter who has given good points or bad, I’m entitled to an opinion. Of course when Serap misunderstood your reply, I didn’t and tried to explain how I read your response, maybe you could give me the same courtesy.

I didn’t intend to make it so personal. I did refer a bit to her comments and to myself and my own experiences. I didn’t put my experiences on her and I clearly said if it’s within the realm of Church teachings it is good. If it’s not, it’s not and that is the truth.

I’m pretty sure that no matter who has given good points or bad, I’m entitled to an opinion. Of course when Serap misunderstood your reply, I didn’t and tried to explain how I read your response, maybe you could give me the same courtesy.

Of course surrendering to God’s will would apply equally to her husband. Did I say otherwise? Did I imply otherwise? I certainly did not mean to. However we will each be accountable individually for how we respond. Her, him, my husband, myself etc. etc. Will our lack of, or our poor response be excusable because of our spouse’s inability to submit or love as Christ loves. I don’t really know.

You know I’ve reread what I wrote three times because I felt bad for making an unkind personal comment and see no where that I did so other than acknowledging with understanding her hurt, anger and resentment that she mentioned in regards to " wives submit". I then went on to explain what I liked about the article posted and gave a comment/suggestion on how if she saw it as submitting to God and His divine plan it might seem more unstandable to her and not cause so much anger etc.

I have learned over the months to really focus on being charitable while still addressing the truths of the Church.

If all we need to do is post links from JP II or another frequent religious poster then discussion is lost.

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