Time to stop/ get new therapist


#1

I'm wondering if anyone could give me some help as to whether or not I should get a new therapist or stop therapy altogether.

My dilemma is that while we're going through to identify all of the underlying issues of my addiction, I feel like he sees me as further behind, while I feel like I've moved through and past the majority of them. While he's christian, he's not Catholic, which makes things a little harder, for when I try to bring in relevant spiritual issues, he seems to have no idea what I'm talking about. On top of all that, the last few weeks have felt like I'm "going through the motions" even though I want to get something out of it.

On the one hand, I feel like it's time to stop since I feel like I've moved on and am at a good enough place spiritually that to do so wouldn't be detrimental; on the other hand, if I do need to be in therapy still, I don't want to do anything that would harm my recovery.

All I ask for is some words to chew on to help me discern.


#2

[quote="brgregmack, post:1, topic:245324"]
I'm wondering if anyone could give me some help as to whether or not I should get a new therapist or stop therapy altogether.

My dilemma is that while we're going through to identify all of the underlying issues of my addiction, I feel like he sees me as further behind, while I feel like I've moved through and past the majority of them. While he's christian, he's not Catholic, which makes things a little harder, for when I try to bring in relevant spiritual issues, he seems to have no idea what I'm talking about. On top of all that, the last few weeks have felt like I'm "going through the motions" even though I want to get something out of it.

On the one hand, I feel like it's time to stop since I feel like I've moved on and am at a good enough place spiritually that to do so wouldn't be detrimental; on the other hand, if I do need to be in therapy still, I don't want to do anything that would harm my recovery.

All I ask for is some words to chew on to help me discern.

[/quote]

It's against forum rules for CAF members to recommend that others stop seeking any form of physical or mental health treatment. Not to mention the moral and ethical implications therein...

You need to have a frank discussion with your therapist about the issues and concerns you've raised in your post. If it would be helpful print it out and take it to your next therapy appointment. The two of you need to hash this out together.


#3

I think this is something to take to therapy! These doubts will be impacting on your therapy and the work that you are doing. It may be that looking for a catholic therapist may not actually solve anything and that giving up is too premature. Your therapist may not give you a direct answer to your questions because they may consider this to be something you need to be able to consider for yourself but they should be able to help you with your considerations.


#4

Thanks. I kinda knew this already, but it helps to hear it from someone else.


#5

I know what you mean about "Christian but not Catholic." If you do switch, try to get a Catholic this time because there is a definite frame of reference which is missing if the counselor is not Catholic. I know that for us, when we did marital counseling, at least I didn't have a secular counselor suggesting separation or divorce, but our Christian (most likely Southern Baptist) counselor also could not address the spiritual gaps between my husband and me. If he'd tried, he probably would have taken sides with my husband.

So if you feel like you are "going through the motions," and really not making progress, first talk to your therapist, and then in case you do switch, try to find a Catholic counselor.


#6

[quote="TheRealJuliane, post:5, topic:245324"]
I know what you mean about "Christian but not Catholic." If you do switch, try to get a Catholic this time because there is a definite frame of reference which is missing if the counselor is not Catholic. I know that for us, when we did marital counseling, at least I didn't have a secular counselor suggesting separation or divorce, but our Christian (most likely Southern Baptist) counselor also could not address the spiritual gaps between my husband and me. If he'd tried, he probably would have taken sides with my husband.

So if you feel like you are "going through the motions," and really not making progress, first talk to your therapist, and then in case you do switch, try to find a Catholic counselor.

[/quote]

one would have to be very careful about changing counsellor to a catholic, to do so may deny an unrecognised underlying issue. No counsellor of what ever beliefs should tell anyone what to do, although they may highlight certain issues inorder to expose underlying assumptions on the part of the client. It is interesting that in the marriage counselling mentioned above certain assumptions were made that may not actually been part of the reality. That is why it is imperative to talk this through with your therapist as a very necessary part of your discernment.


#7

If you go into marital counseling with a secular therapist, and week after week the spouse(s) talk about nothing but problem with no real solutions, kind of a dead-end, or if one spouse has a foot out the door, or if there has been adultery, there is a very good chance that the therapist will at least ask if either party has thought about separation. Instead of coming from the basis that divorce is a sin, the therapist may think about each person’s “happiness” and not the vow they took in front of God. Also that counselor could not be expected to address specific spiritual issues with the couple.

My husband feels an affinity with a counselor that our son has seen twice. He liked the guy and thought he could talk to him more easily than the Christian (not Catholic) counselor we’ve tried to work with two separate times. I am nervous about that because I don’t trust the frame of reference the counselor has. We all have our underlying belief systems, you know? Of course a therapist isn’t going to tell someone to get a divorce, but a non-Catholic probably wouldn’t bring up the sin aspect of divorce either.


#8

Just to clarify my comment above was adressed to the OP and their situation and was not intended as being adressed to your marriage situation, simply using your response to illustrate an issue for the OP.
However, you seem to have issues with your relationship counsellor which you too may find useful to discuss with the counsellor…you never know, they may expect you to be the one who raises questions about sin etc. many counsellors would not see it as their role to impose their beliefs on their clients. In my experience counsellors are not there to impose morals but to help people explore thier own issues and find their own solutions. If you want advice or judgements a priest may be a good person to consult but talk to your counsellor about issues about the counselling itself and your hopes and expectaions of it.


#9

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