Tired of Discerning God's Will


It would serve you better to call up and make contact with a priest and discuss this issue directly, face to face, because if you really want to get a face to face meeting with someone close to Christ / to God, that is about as close as one is going to get is through one of His priests' .

That being said you will get also good input here.

If any of us could easily understand Gods' will, we wouldn't be spinning our wheels.

I am discerning a religious life and it isn't easy, I have my own pot full of problems which if I got into here people would in a heart beat diswade me from pursuing such a calling... There are a lot of scripture passages one could quote you on the hardships the faithful go through, an chances are it won't lift your hopes or spirits any. You have a lot of issues to address to which there might not be a quick , or solid answer..... an I face that myself, I have plenty of my own hardships I face and I ask God what is going on, and even get angry with God,, and at times I want to run away from God, yet I can't... Not because God loves me so much, but because I am realizing how real God / Christ is in my life. It doesn't ease my pain though that I go through currently, I just know I am not going it alone, so I keep going in life. I am pursuing a religious life with all my doubts, questioning my own faith at times, fears, you name it, an I won't stop until I can't get up any more from falling flat on my rear. An I have already been rejected once in my discernment ....

Talk about wanting to run away from God and the Church, being a cradle catholic and being told you are not ready for further formation via a seminary in your own diocese where you were born an raised.

and more over my own story probably won't help ease your pain any as I have heard similar stories with my own situation and it did not ease my pain either, being told I am not alone does not help, misery does not always love company................ But I can not help but ask how did I make it far in this life with out God ? If God has ignored me so much in my life and I have gone through all of this hardship and misery, why did I go through it and how did I survive ? Because logically if I am going to be a product of my pain an misery, I should be some druggie living in a trailer park, making someone elses life miserable and not even giving two beans about God.

But I am not, an thus I ask why, and I am getting answers, some make sense , some don't..

for what ever it is worth there ya have it.


As hard as life is with God, try to imagine how hard it'd be without him! As hard as what you are going through is, and I am sure you're right, that it is hard, consider it in context.

Christ, Mary, the disciples, martyrs, saints ALL had hard lives. None of them had it easy. I daresay that if we were to go back and read any of their lives that ours would pale by comparison. Read "Job" or about the lives of the saints.

Take Mary's. She consented to God's will, and she had many crosses as a result.

Even Joseph initially did not know that she was pregnant by the Holy Spirit.

She had to go to another place for a census while pregnant under very primitive conditions, not knowing where she'd be when her child was born. He was born in a stable.

She had to flee to escape Herod, who massacred the Holy Innocents.

Jesus was lost for 3 DAYS!

She met Jesus while he was carrying the cross, was there while he was crucified, while he had a lance pierced him, while he was taken down from the cross, and when he was put in the tomb...where she was left alone, except for St. John.

They say Mary had 7 principle sorrows...that each was like a sword through her heart. Who among us has had suffering like hers, or Jesus'? Yet, they, and the saints remained faithful despite it all.

Last point is that Mary and Jesus especially had even more reason to be upset than us, because they were at least innocent. We are not. Yet, they welcomed God's will in the good times and bad for our sakes.

We can offer up our sufferings for our own sins and for those of others, as Mary and Jesus did. The more we suffer, the more we have to offer up.

In fact, some say if angels could envy humans in anything, it would be in our ability to suffer.

This is an opportunity to have faith, as well. It's through our suffering and weakness that we are made strong.

I will pray for you. Also, pray for yourself, to have faith. God bless you!


Speak honestly to a holy priest about your thoughts and feelings regarding G-d and religion. He will be able to advise you and give you some solace and comfort so that you do not despair. This kind of meeting of minds can often result in ideas and remedies you may not have thought of before.


I have some similar problems so I think you might like to hear how I deal with it and perhaps discover "ideas and remedies you may not have thought of before" as meltzerboy put it.

About discerning God's will: I think that sometimes God does not have any clearcut answer about what career we should have or what we should do with our lives. Sometimes, we have to just do something and do it as "working heartily for the Lord and not for men" although we don't "feel called" to do it. Feelings come and go and in the end serve as instruments of motivation, but they don't necessarily reveal God's will. I have "felt" called to do several different things for my life's work (be a professor, be a missionary, be a physicist, be a philosopher, be a theologian, be a musician) but not all of them could be my calling. I heard a speaker one time say, "You want to know God's will for your life? Just do what's right in front of you... empty the dishwasher, keep working at Walmart, take that opportunity for good you see. You don't see an end result but God can do far more abundantly than all we ask or think."

About mental issues, anxiety and suffering in your life: I don't think I can comprehend your level of pain, but I have been troubled and even angry at God for my anxiety and other mental issues. He says "love your neighbor," and then he gives me social anxiety so I'm too afraid to love my neighbor. Then he says it's my fault and puts all the weight on me when I fail to live up to what he wants. Despite all the anxiety I have though, I know that I can do what I don't want and love my neighbor even though I don't feel like it. I might not be able to control my feelings (which have the destructive effect of strongly influencing my behavior) but in the end I can always control what I do.

What I'm trying ti say is that even though God may not have been there for us or given us a good time or a smooth ride, we don't have to let those circumstances control us. The attitude we have about the suffering is what truly counts. Billions of people have suffered, are suffering and will suffer and each one has his own perspective and attitude towards his suffering. Some become angry and bitter, some commit suicide, some embrace their crosses and take up their cups against their will (like Jesus, at least his human will), some endure willingly and even cheerfully (I think they are a rare sort). But, it's not up to God whether these people have what they see as a hard life. It's up to them to take what they receive and respond to it as they see fit. They may be inclined to respond one way, but they can do whatever they can to redirect their inclinations--I for example make the effort to "correct" uncharitable thoughts with charitable ones, which helps with a bit of paranoia I have had.


Pray to the Holy Spirit.


I can’t imagine the pain you suffer. I don’t know what your life is like, just remember the value of suffering in Catholicism. Saying “offer it up” sounds so cold, but in a way suffering is a gift. I’ve been through a lot in my life as well, my regret is that I didn’t know our suffering could have any redeeming qualities at all and so it was all meritless.

Please, talk to a holy priest about this. Until you go, just take one day at a time. Often God’s will is simply choosing the option that isn’t sinful and, as others have said, the duty of the moment. God can and will lead you day by day, you don’t have to figure out your whole life right now. Don’t worry about tomorrow, next week, next month, whatever. Seek the Lord, follow his commands, go to Mass and Confession, do the duty of the moment, pray a lot. One day at a time.


Aww, I’m so sorry! I sort of understand how you feel. I had a rough childhood and had to spend an extra year in school because of anxiety issues. I had a hard time finding a job and I felt miserable all the time. I would just start crying randomly and I would rant about how God wasn’t there for me. Now that things have started slowly getting better, I realize that God was with me the whole time. There were even blessings that I had no idea I was receiving. :slight_smile: I know it’s hard now, and depression is probably making it much worse, but just remember that God loves you and will ALWAYS protect you. Pray to your favorite saint and ask for wisdom and strength. Saint Theresa of Avila has the best advice: “Let nothing trouble you; let nothing frighten you. Everything passes, God never changes. Patience obtains all things.” Don’t be afraid. :slight_smile: I’ll be praying for you.


I know how you feel I will put you in my prayers look I don’t think nobody’s life has been easy for some have been much harder than others that I agree but God says take up your cross and follow me he gives the greatest battles to the greatest soldiers I am also discerning the call to a religious life but Im sick don’t know if is physically or mentally Im trying both with a ton of medications and a ton of prayers.I was also abused physically by my my sick mom I forgive her I was also bullied all my years that I was in school never knew why maybe because of my soft temperament,that ledd me to not be able to study my math knowledge is one of a second grader between other things,I don’t know why God let that happen to me but it let me to be the person I am today and probably if it wasn’t for all of that would I have been closer to God? Sorry for my english bye


I agree by talking to a priest. It’s impersonal in forums etc. However, I would say that God’s timing is everything. Looking back, I can say the things God had me go through helped me see what he wanted me to be (and he still is molding me). He had to mold me, in a sense. God’s timing is not our own. If you don’t know your calling, continue to pray and he will guide you. I’m closer to knowing, but it’s a journey. But remember you’re not a utility for God, but a servant. Perhaps he’s molding/forming you to help others who have experienced what you experienced. Do you think they need hope and love? Help yourself, then help others - this means possibly seeing a psychologist and priest to help you if you’re still struggling, then return the favor to others. Love first, vocations are also used in love. God first commands us to love, and if a vocation follows, then that’s good. It’s welcomed. What are the greatest commandments? Said simply: When in doubt of vocations, love. All the best & I’m excited to see what God does in your life.



Holy Father, please bless ndkos, guide, nourish and strengthen ndkos through times of tribulation. Please draw ndkos into a closer relationship with you, through Christ our Lord. Amen


Catholic Catechism:
311 Angels and men, as intelligent and free creatures, have to journey toward their ultimate destinies by their free choice and preferential love. They can therefore go astray. Indeed, they have sinned. Thus has moral evil, incommensurably more harmful than physical evil, entered the world. God is in no way, directly or indirectly, the cause of moral evil.176 He permits it, however, because he respects the freedom of his creatures and, mysteriously, knows how to derive good from it:

For almighty God. . ., because he is supremely good, would never allow any evil whatsoever to exist in his works if he were not so all-powerful and good as to cause good to emerge from evil itself.177

312 In time we can discover that God in his almighty providence can bring a good from the consequences of an evil, even a moral evil, caused by his creatures: “It was not you”, said Joseph to his brothers, "who sent me here, but God. . . You meant evil against me; but God meant it for good, to bring it about that many people should be kept alive."178 From the greatest moral evil ever committed - the rejection and murder of God’s only Son, caused by the sins of all men - God, by his grace that “abounded all the more”,179 brought the greatest of goods: the glorification of Christ and our redemption. But for all that, evil never becomes a good.
313 "We know that in everything God works for good for those who love him."180 The constant witness of the saints confirms this truth:
St. Catherine of Siena said to “those who are scandalized and rebel against what happens to them”: "Everything comes from love, all is ordained for the salvation of man, God does nothing without this goal in mind."181
St. Thomas More, shortly before his martyrdom, consoled his daughter: "Nothing can come but that that God wills. And I make me very sure that whatsoever that be, seem it never so bad in sight, it shall indeed be the best."182 Dame Julian of Norwich: "Here I was taught by the grace of God that I should steadfastly keep me in the faith. . . and that at the same time I should take my stand on and earnestly believe in what our Lord shewed in this time - that ‘all manner [of] thing shall be well.’"183

A very simple article that puts the negatives in life/what we suffer into the context of God’s Providential Will.

Prayers for you, Ndkos.


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