It would serve you better to call up and make contact with a priest and discuss this issue directly, face to face, because if you really want to get a face to face meeting with someone close to Christ / to God, that is about as close as one is going to get is through one of His priests' .
That being said you will get also good input here.
If any of us could easily understand Gods' will, we wouldn't be spinning our wheels.
I am discerning a religious life and it isn't easy, I have my own pot full of problems which if I got into here people would in a heart beat diswade me from pursuing such a calling... There are a lot of scripture passages one could quote you on the hardships the faithful go through, an chances are it won't lift your hopes or spirits any. You have a lot of issues to address to which there might not be a quick , or solid answer..... an I face that myself, I have plenty of my own hardships I face and I ask God what is going on, and even get angry with God,, and at times I want to run away from God, yet I can't... Not because God loves me so much, but because I am realizing how real God / Christ is in my life. It doesn't ease my pain though that I go through currently, I just know I am not going it alone, so I keep going in life. I am pursuing a religious life with all my doubts, questioning my own faith at times, fears, you name it, an I won't stop until I can't get up any more from falling flat on my rear. An I have already been rejected once in my discernment ....
Talk about wanting to run away from God and the Church, being a cradle catholic and being told you are not ready for further formation via a seminary in your own diocese where you were born an raised.
and more over my own story probably won't help ease your pain any as I have heard similar stories with my own situation and it did not ease my pain either, being told I am not alone does not help, misery does not always love company................ But I can not help but ask how did I make it far in this life with out God ? If God has ignored me so much in my life and I have gone through all of this hardship and misery, why did I go through it and how did I survive ? Because logically if I am going to be a product of my pain an misery, I should be some druggie living in a trailer park, making someone elses life miserable and not even giving two beans about God.
But I am not, an thus I ask why, and I am getting answers, some make sense , some don't..
for what ever it is worth there ya have it.