To consumate the marriage or not


#1

A friend of mine îs getting married and according to her charts she will be fertile on their wedding night. They want to wait before having chikdren, should they then not consumate their marriage?


#2

Many couples will admit to waiting a few days before consummating for this very reason…
Including my husband and I! :wink:

Hey, it happens! :shrug:
We made up for lost time, though… :smiley:


#3

Why would they even ask? It's a very private issue. It's up to them. ;)


#4

There’s no rule that a marriage must be consummated on their wedding night. If they want to wait, then they should wait.


#5

My wife and I had that situation. Though we were anxious, the drawn out wait was not harmful.

Ironically, we honeymooned in Yellowstone, where several major attractions (geysers, boiling mud, etc) were driven by temperature shifts.

BTW - properly, your question is not about whether they consummate their marriage but when. Both topics are properly the decision of the couple only.


#6

I must say that is one strange conversation to have with a friend.


#7

I say Alleluia! She is practicing NFP as it needs to be…months prior to the marriage. I urge them to pray and fast about what is before them. As always NFP is in union with God’s great plan. Blessings on their fidelity to the Sacrament of Marriage.


#8

[quote="jmjconder, post:7, topic:240654"]
I say Alleluia! She is practicing NFP as it needs to be...months prior to the marriage. I urge them to pray and fast about what is before them. As always NFP is in union with God's great plan. Blessings on their fidelity to the Sacrament of Marriage.

[/quote]

They should only abstain if they have good reason to, remember NFP is not supposed to be a substitute for contraception.

Humanae Vitae cites "physical, economic, psychological and social conditions" as possibly compelling reasons to avoid pregnancy.[43] Couples are warned, however, against using NFP for selfish, immoral, or insincere reasons.[39]


#9

Hahahahaha. Too funny!


#10

[quote="E.E.N.S, post:8, topic:240654"]
They should only abstain if they have good reason to, remember NFP is not supposed to be a substitute for contraception.

[/quote]

Many couples do not realize NFP needs to be part of their relationship for months prior to their wedding day...that is what I was referring to. They are not yet married and have begun to practice NFP - otherwise how would she know she would be fertile on her wedding night. I did also state for them to pray about this - given their own circumstances and God's great plan for their marriage.


#11

[quote="jmjconder, post:10, topic:240654"]
Many couples do not realize NFP needs to be part of their relationship for months prior to their wedding day...that is what I was referring to. They are not yet married and have begun to practice NFP - otherwise how would she know she would be fertile on her wedding night. I did also state for them to pray about this - given their own circumstances and God's great plan for their marriage.

[/quote]

Indeed, I just thought it would be edifying to throw in that little caveat, as there is plenty of abuse of NFP among many otherwise faithful Catholics.


#12

[quote="E.E.N.S, post:11, topic:240654"]
Indeed, I just thought it would be edifying to throw in that little caveat, as there is plenty of abuse of NFP among many otherwise faithful Catholics.

[/quote]

Thank you for your clarification...and I agree with your statement of uniformed Catholics using NFP...education - education - education and homilies.


#13

Doesn’t make them any less married. Yes, if they are not TTC, then they must abstain.

:shrug:


#14

[quote="KostyaJMJ, post:6, topic:240654"]
I must say that is one strange conversation to have with a friend.

[/quote]

Agreed. That's not a conversation I would have with anyone - let alone someone that blab it over the Word Wide Web.


#15

[quote="cradlecatholic5, post:3, topic:240654"]
Why would they even ask? It's a very private issue. It's up to them. ;)

[/quote]

:thumbsup:


#16

she should be discussing this with her husband to be and her doctor, no one else. I they have not been thoroughly instructed on NFP they better tend to that, but not much their friends can do to help with that either. Their family planning ideas are also none of anyone’s business.


#17

[quote="1inICXC, post:1, topic:240654"]
A friend of mine îs getting married and according to her charts she will be fertile on their wedding night. They want to wait before having chikdren, should they then not consumate their marriage?

[/quote]

They should just reschedule the wedding.


#18

LOL @ postponng the wedding.

Considering the crazy and intimate stories ive read on here i dont see why this camt be discussed especially since there are NO personal details added.

Personally i never even thought of this as it wasnt an issue for DH And i so now that she mentioned it ireally was kinda perplexed. Never thought of delaying the act but who says you need to have the cherry with the cake i guess


#19

umm i guess they are concerned with the morality of things… She asked me knowing that we also practice NFP but i seriously didnt know what to say in this situation, i never imagined a wedding day without it so thank you to those who actually answered


#20

Um, to me, it would feel immoral to abstain from intercourse when newlywed unless you had a REALLY good reason not to be pregnant. I mean, why are they getting married?

That is an opinion, of course.


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