I feel a little apprehensive about this post but this is something that has been on my mind the last two years. My faith (by God’s Grace) took off in my early twenties (I am in my late fifties now). Each day for over 35 years, I chased God in wanting to know Him better. I prayed and prayed and prayed every which way that one can (my favorites being the Mass (both Roman and Byzantine (which is the Liturgy)) and the Byzantine Catholic Book of Prayers which made me feel so humble in the presence of the Lord). I read everything I could get my hands on to grow closer in faith with my Lord (The Bible and biblical commentary, apologetic books and magazines, historical books, saint books, etc). Finally, I watched alot of religious videos (because I learn better by vision). God led me to so many extremely interesting topics. I took it all in and loved every minute of it.
I’ve had large miracles occur in my life and I’ve had interesting/extremely convincing minor miracles happen too. My faith was on fire. I wanted everyone to know God’s Peace and Goodness. I tried not to force Him on people. I would bring Him up naturally in conversation so people wouldn’t be turned away. I tried to understand where each person was coming from in their walk of life. I loved and cared for them because I knew them better. My life with my wife and children was always a challenge but we got through the problems because of God. We have beautiful memories to look back on and smile (alot).
Like I said though, the last two years have been tough (but I’m sure many here have been through far worse than I have and I’m sorry I’m venting my problem when you have suffered more). I’m not going to get into any details about my life except that my prayer life has changed. It all stems from the idea that God is not a genie or a fairy godmother and grant one everything one prays for and I knew that throughout my relationship with God. But I kept leaning on the old PUSH acronym: pray until something happens. I was content with God’s answer even when He did not answer my prayers in the way I wanted Him too. Lately though there are things I’ve been praying for for a couple of decades and after contemplating an idea that has been with me for the last two years and watching a video about God answering prayers, I don’t really pray for anything anymore. I just pray to thank God for His bounty He has given my family and I. I feel God knows what’s on my heart, why ask every day or even numerous times during the day. I’m just going to focus on God and His glory and worship Him. Does anybody else have these feelings? Here is the video that kind of affirm what I have thinking over the last two years.