Looking for some advice from some married folks with more wisdom and experience than myself.
I am 25 and in a roughly 1.5 year old relationship. I love this girl and respect her tremendously, but have some lingering doubts, both practical and in terms of whether it “feels” like it should. After feeling this way for about 6 months, it has become clear to me that more time isn’t going to answer my questions – it is time to either push aside the uncertainty and commit to this woman or decide it isn’t right and stop wasting both of our time.
We have some practical issues to deal with, including somewhat different visions of how to teach our children about religion (we are both committed to the faith) and somewhat different views of what a “good” financial situation/lifestyle would be (though we are both pretty financially conservative and responsible). However, we have talked extensively about those things and have worked out pretty detailed compromises that we can both live with.
The bigger issue in my mind is whether I “feel” the way I’m supposed to feel. I am certainly closer to her than I have been to any previous girlfriend, and there are many things I love about our relationship. She makes me want to be a better, healthier, more responsible man, and I know that if we get married she’ll stick out anything that comes our way. However, from the time we started seriously talking about marriage I’ve had gut-feeling doubts about us. Nothing is really wrong, and I’ve always battled doubt and skepticism in my life (from big things like “does God exist” on down), so that could be the real problem. I also know that it’s normal in a marriage to not always “feel” super great about the other person. But it is awfully hard to pull the trigger and propose when some part of me just doesn’t feel the way you’re supposed to feel when deciding to spend the rest of your life with someone.
I’ve been praying like crazy about this for many months, but I still find myself in the same situation: feeling like it might be a big mistake to commit to this woman without being confident that we are meant for each other, but feeling like breaking up with her could very easily be the worst decision of my life and might be a victory of my personal tendency to doubt and worry over what God was calling us to do.
Any advice from married or engaged couples on “how you knew,” particularly from anyone with a general tendency to doubt and worry, would be much appreciated. Prayers appreciated too.