Too afraid to go to confession


I Was Thinking About Going To Confession But I Am Too Afraid The Priest Will Tell My Family And Others What I Have Confessed And It Will Destroy My Reputation. Is There Anything Else I Can Do. I Don’t Want Anything To Be Revealed About Me To A Third Party.


On pain of excomunication, the priest MUST keep everything you say during confession a secret FOREVER.

I have heard that any priest who “breaks the seal of the confessional” MUST go to confession HIMSELF; but can ONLY have that confession heard by the pope.


Priests have been martyred for not revealed what they learned in the confessional. This is absolutely forbidden!!!

In fact, I might suggest that each time a thought like that floats across your mind that you ask St Michael the Archangel to help you in your fight against evil thoughts like these which would keep you from the sacraments and from fixing your relationship with God.

Determine to yourself that you will go to Confession *no matter what *this Saturday and if the thoughts continue, mention ti the priest that you delayed going to Confession because of them. He should be able to give you good advice.


A priest will not break the seal of confession under any circumstance. However, if you still feel uncomfortable, take a drive (assuming you are old enough/have a car) to a neighboring parish in another town and confess from behind the screen to a priest who does not know you. This way you can have peace of mind. Although, you will want to work on building trust with your own pastor, because he would NEVER tell anyone what you told him in the confessional.


I have a confessor in a neighboring parish that I see if there’s something weighty on my mind, and I’ve only been to mass at that church once. I am well known to the priests at my parish, and if I’m embarassed, I just take a 15 minute drive.

The priest on the other side of the city doesn’t even know my name.


Under absolutely no circumstance do you need to have this concern. Even if the priest were put on trial before a judge and threatened with a lifelong prison sentence unless he told what you confessed, then that priest would still remain silent.

My ultimate advice to you is, reflect more on this. Pride is one of the deadliest of sins, and it is what is keeping you from going to confession. Please give this some prayerful thought and reconcile what needs to be reconciled. Your reputation is not at risk. But even if it were (which it is NOT), is your reputation more important than your eternity?? Priorities, friend! :slight_smile:


Do not worry friends, the priest will not tell anyone your sins. He would be cutting himself off from the sanctifying grace of God if he were to do so. It is a mortal sin (I think…) for them to do so, and results in immediate excommunication.

However, I will present you with this question. Even if the priest went out and told every last person on Earth what you did, which is more important; your pride and desire to avoid embarrassment, or everlasting life with God? I certainly hope that you would chose the latter.

God Bless ^^


As all the Forum members have said " A priest cannot and I say cannot break the seal of Confession" its never happened , what you say is between you and God the priest is the intermediary in order to hear your Confession and forgive your sins and give you Penance.

Have more faith in the Lord, put your hand in His and go to Confession mentioning what you have said on the Forum to the priest so he can reassure you that the Seal of Confession is never broken. If I can go to Confession having been Jewish its far easier for you, in fact I like going to Confession it keeps one humble, you have to admit you are a Sinner , but look at all the benefits we get, Absolution, as I always say its like coming out of the washing machine , your clean, and right with God again. Don’t forget the Priest himself has to go to Confession to another Priest, even the Pope goes to Confession, it must be harder for them than us lay people , as to much is given, much is expected the Lord will be tougher on them than us.

Go for it, you need to put yourself right with the Lord, the Lord loves all his children you are no different he is waiting for you, and when you come out of the Confession you will feel great.

Let us know how you felt after coming out of Confession.

God Bless and walk with the Lord in faith.


If it is any consolation, the priest has most likely heard it before, and, as others mentioned, under the pain of excommunication, he cannot tell anyone. If you are embarrassed to confess the sin remember that God already knows you committed the sin – he saw you do it! Now, all you are doing is saying sorry. It also helps to realize that you aren’t taking to another human being, but God through that human being. Hope I helped, and good luck!


Apart from abortion, are there other sins that incur automatic excommunication?

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Full Question
Having an abortion means automatic excommunication from the Church. Are there other sins that carry this penalty?


Yes. In the 1983 Code of Canon Law (CIC) eight other sins carry the penalty of automatic excommunication: apostasy, heresy, schism (CIC 1364:1), violating the sacred species (CIC 1367), physically attacking the pope (CIC 1370:1), sacramentally absolving an accomplice in a sexual sin (CIC 1378:1), consecrating a bishop without authorization (CIC 1382), and directly violating the seal of confession (1388:1).

Read the last one.


At the great mind wall.

One tenth of one percent of the grace you will get from confession is worth the effort. (The risk is mind games / evil working)

But - Just to get past it, go to someone who doesn’t know your family.

What you are not considering is the intent of the priest, which is to HELP you.

Priests hear it all, there isn’t something you could tell them that would blow them away.


The priest is even forbidden from discussion your confession with YOU! If there is a matter that you need to speak with the priest about, and it was in the Confession, you would have to bring the matter up to the priest first, alone, before he could discuss it with you.

As an example, a particular sin that I have trouble with, and commit frequently, I mentioned to the priest that I could use some help with it. He said would be glad to help, but Mass was about to start, and we had to finish up. He told me to come back to him afterwards and we could discuss it, but he also mentioned to do so privately, and that I would need to bring it up, he could not bring up the issue on his own.

Hope this helps. Now get to confession! :slight_smile:


Hey Bashful,

Don’t be afraid to go to Confession. Priests are automatically excommunicated if they ever break the seal of Confession and only the Pope can absolve them.

If you have mortal sins on your soul, then you also need to confess that you have been putting off going to Confession. You should also talk to the priest about your fears.

Don’t be afraid that you are going to scandalize the priest with your sins. As Matthew Kelly puts it, “Don’t kid yourself, you’re not that original. It’s not like you’re going to tell him anything he hasn’t already heard.” :wink:

Check out this video he has. He does a good job of explaining Confession while keeping the talk lighthearted and fun.

I will pray for you to have the strength and courage to go to Confession. :gopray:

God bless you!

“One of Einstein’s assistants once said that saying that all of this could come about from a series of explosions is like saying an unabridged dictionary could come from a printshop explosion. BOOM! What’s that? Oh, the printshop exploded: bindings, covers, pages, ink, flying through the air! Look, a dictionary…WHOA!” - Chris Stefanick :wink:


Then pray that the Holy Spirit will lead you and give you His courage because you cannot do it on your own.

The priest has taken a vow never to reveal what is said in the confessional -

You could confess behind the screen instead of face to face if you feel that awkward.
Remember that God is with you and desires to heal your soul. So let Him thru the priest that can absolve the sins on your soul.

Praying for you.


Grow up! Stop playing silly games on the internet!

Reb Levi


Parents shouldn’t permit children to play on the internet.

Reb Levi


God Has Been Pushing Me To Go To Confession And I Finally Went. I Did Not Want To Do The Confession Near My Hometown So I Drove Over 100 Miles And Went Behind The Curtain To A Priest That Has Never Seen Me Before. I Never Saw His Face At All And He Never Saw Mine. I Feel A Lot Better. Thank You For Your Advice And Your Help.


YAY! I’m so glad you were able to go and make a good confession.

God bless you!


I am very glad you went :slight_smile:


Good for you.

Now you can go forward without that weight on your mind and soul.

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