Is it unreasonable for me to not want my daughters to have earrings until they are at least 12 years old? I tell them (they are two and four) that it is redundant for a jewel to addorn a jewel. I don’t want them to think they need makeup or earrings.
Some cultures pierce the ears of babies, so if that’s what your daughters are seeing, then no wonder they want earrings. Or perhaps you have pierced ears and they want to be like mommy?
I agree with you and feel that children need to be at least ten or twelve so that they are old enough to take care of their newly pierced ears and take care of an earring collection.
Why do you think your daughters want to do this?
Personally, I think it is easier to do it when they are younger so that you can make sure they are properly taken care of. If you wait until they are 12, they aren’t going to let you hover over them and make sure that they are taking care of it. If you do it now, you will have more control about making sure that their ears are clean. Plus if you wait until they are 12, they will be going through puberty and will be extra oily and yucky.
My mom made me wait, but I let my daughter get her ears pierced at age 4. I think it worked out well.
I agree… they’re probably seeing friends with earrings… as it is very popular in some cultures to pierce the ears of babies…
As their parent, it’s really up to you…
I don’t have any daughters (yet), but I personally wouldn’t have a problem at the age of 5 or so (that’s when I had mine pierced!)…
But again, you’re the parent!
I agree with you. Everyone was telling me to pierce my DD’s ears when she was a baby. They said it would be easier. I don’t see how a baby pulling out the earrings and getting gook all over her is easy! I’m with you. She’ll wait until she’s old enough to take care of them herself. I didn’t get mine until I was 9 or 10. I say at least that long!
My daughter is waiting until she is thirteen. She is quite unhappy about the situation.
My reasoning is that I want a special rite of passage to mark the time she is entering a new phase of life. I also plan give her more responsibilities (paid) in the home. I want her to change her outlook from “I’m a kid–cater to me” to “I’m growing up, I need to prepare for adulthood.”
I once heard a Legionary priest talk about how fathers should prepare their sons around age 12 or 13 to enter into a new phase of life. He recommended a rite of passage.
So, I decided that I would use ear piercing as my daughter’s rite of passage. It’s a really tangible way to remind them.
Another problem with our society is that we over indulge our kids. They don’t have to wait for things anymore.
I say make 'em wait!
I had mine done when I was seven or eight. My girlfriend had hers done when she was 16 because her mom would not let her do it earlier. She has had to have hers re-pierced a couple of times because they close up on her. I’ve gone without wearing earrings for nearly two years and they still did not close up. She has repeated infections. I’ve never had a major infection, maybe some soreness now and again after not wearing them for a long while and then putting on an old pair without cleaning the posts first. The first pair of earrings I wore I kept in for more than a year without removing them, I never worried about cleaning them (other than regular bathing of course), and I never had an infection. My mom chose a pair with my birthstone and surgical steel posts, and basically did not let me take them out. She would have to remove them if I wanted them out, because the clasp was too difficult for me to manage alone.
Just sharing my experience. If (hopefully when) I have a little girl of my own, I’ll let her have her ears pierced when she wants. My mom didn’t make a big deal of it, and I won’t either. I love the look of little babies with earrings, but I wouldn’t do that myself because I think it’s something a girl should make the decision to do for herself, it’s a “big girl” thing to do, and I really cherish the memory of that day with my mom. I also think it’s one of those battles that’s just not worth fighting. My husband tells me so is long hair on a boy, but I’ve got a real problem with that one…
I didn’t do it as a baby for two reasons. 1) really didn’t need more stuff to maintain and 2) my friends daughter as a baby got the stud caught on the crib sheet and it ripped out of her ear (damaging the ear lobe).
When our daughter was about 5 she asked to have her ears pierced and we took her to get it done. I figured I’d wait until she wanted them. She only puts in earrings a few times a year (small post earrings) but she’s happy to have them.
I agree. I figure jewelry yes -make up no.
I don’t have any boys but I wouldn’t fight the long hair either if I did. As long as it’s not dyed another color or in a mohawk or some outrageous style.
Thanks to all for the advice. It’s funny that some assumed I was the mom. I’m the dad. The four year old is the one who brings it up from time to time. I just want her to not grow up too fast and to realize how she’s Beautiful without them And mostly that beauty on the inside is more important. So I will consyu=ult my wife and we probably will wait until she can understand these things better. But I have no problem with earrings on kids in general.
Thanks to all for the advice. It’s funny that some assumed I was the mom. I’m the dad. The four year old is the one who brings it up from time to time. I just want her to not grow up too fast and to realize how she’s Beautiful without them And mostly that beauty on the inside is more important. So I will consult my wife and we probably will wait until she (my daughter) can understand these things better. But I have no problem with earrings on kids in general.
Franciscan, do the girls know it hurts? They don’t like getting shots at the Dr. office, right? Well, it hurts about as bad as that! Maybe they’ll lay off of you if you tell them that.
I was pacified by my moms clip on earrings. I don’t know how easy those are to find nowadays. Maybe that will help too.
I agree, make up is expensive and messy. Maybe some colored lip balm, but that’s about as far as I’ll go. I’m sure I’ll get over the hair thing with the boy. Hopefully he won’t want long hair!! Is that hoping too much?
What!!! Getting your ears pierced does not hurt nor does getting a shot (my 15y/o and 3y/o never cry or fuss or say it hurts when they get their shots)…I had my first holes (in my ears) when I was a year (dont recall that one) but since then I have had 6 more ear piercings (different holes) they all occured from age 14 - 30 and none of them hurt!
I will agree though that some folks have a lower threshold of pain than others.
Clip-ons hurt worse than piercings, in my experience.
But I say the parents are the boss - whatever you decide in your home is what you should do.
They have 'em at Claire’s.
Ssshhh! Don’t let them hear that!
I can remember the first time I had a shot at the Dr. office and I was able to hold back the tears like a big girl! I guess I’m just a ninny… When I had my ears done, the beautician had one of those guns, and although it was fast, it still hurt. I was able to sit still for the first shot, but then the second one I knew what was coming, and I jerked a bit. As such, one piercing is a little higher in the lobe than the other side!!
6 piercings?? I guess it doesn’t hurt you at all! I always wanted to have my eyebrow done. I’m glad I never got around to it now. Glad for just the single piercings in each ear too. I think most people have more than one now if they have any at all.
it’ll be our secret!
Guess I shouldnt mention my nose ring or the numerous tatoos
But yes…I do agree that not everyone has the same threshold for pain as someone else…what may not hurt you may hurt someone else and vice versa!