Top 10 Reasons Why Getting Drunk & Carousing Is Better Than The Catholic Church


10.) Your sense of purpose is right there in front of you, whether it be your fifth shot of tequila or some girl dancing up on stage. Mysticism is too vague.

9.) Being a slave to sin brought much pleasure, whereas being a slave to Jesus through Mary seems to bring nothing but self-consciousness and self-defeat.

8.) Masturbation seemed permissable.

7.) Freedom from guilt is liberating. Feeling sinful for having certain dreams I seemingly have no control over is the worst experience one can wake up to.

6.) When I felt sorry for myself, I at least could drown that out in an overabundance of alcohol, laughing, and loud music at the clubs.

5.) There are at least four times as many opportunities for dating.

4.) I had five times as many friends and close acquaintances who were just as likely to stick by me through hell and high water.

3.) Sin is completely relative to opportunism.

2.) The cross seemed infinitely lighter.

1.) I wasn’t nearly alone as I am now.

Sometimes I feel like I made the worst decision in coming back to the Church.


I apologize for this post. I would delete it if I could, but that time has come and gone.

I had a very rough morning full of loneliness and self-pity which, even though I haven’t overcome that loneliness, I nonetheless wish to persevere for the sake of Christ and Our Loving Mother. Deep inside of me, I do wish that I had more friends, especially people my age who I could relate to in terms of faith and in other ways. While I do have a couple of such people, those people are either married or involved in serious relationships. I have no one. That is to say, I have no one who I can consistently share myself and my Catholic faith with. My parents, who I live with, are not Catholic and really seem uneasy when anything Catholic is mentioned. Is it any wonder then that I long for companionship?

Only a few months ago, I deluded myself into thinking I had that companionship with a couple of buddies from work who I would go out drinking with and to strip clubs with. I say that I deluded myself because I truly never felt as if I belonged. (Truth be known, though, I really don’t feel as if I belong in the Church either. Such is my conflict.) That past has not yet ceased to be brought up again and again, whether in the form of “fond” memories, or by one such buddy wondering when I’ll be getting out again, or some other related people seeming hurt by the fact that I have seemingly “ditched” them. The devil offers to me again and again this chance to “redeem” myself by letting go of Christ, but I just can’t no matter how miserable it makes me (and I say this lightly now, for my spirituality is still rather weak).

Again, I apologize. Feeling as alone as I have recently, I guess that I just wanted a little bit of attention or for someone to say, “It’s alright.” I typically go about that in the wrong way. Lord have mercy on my soul.



I am paying attention, and I promise it is alright. Do you spend time with Christ in the Eucharist? I have your same temptations sometimes, and I rely heavily on my ‘one-on-one time’ with Jesus.

The first reading today at mass was from the prophet Jeremiah, who laments of his feelings of loneliness and being misunderstood. I can identify with that. I also find that Jesus Himself must have felt ‘alone’; how many other God-Men could understand Him? How challenging it must have been to try and express the infinite joy of Heaven to us humans, whose language is dull, and whose minds and wills are weak.

The Father loves you! He calls you his dear son. You are not a failure in His eyes!

He is pleased that you have come back to His Church, that you are now in more perfect union with Him. When you receive the Eucharist, when you go to Reconcile yourself with Him, when you praise Him with the rest of His world-wide family in the Mass that is celebrated in Heaven and on Earth. I promise this is just exactly where you belong.

I was reading about St Frances of Rome, her life and challenges may be of encouragement to you.

One more bit of advice that I find helpful - go look in the mirror. Look at your gloomy, down-trodden, glum grouchy greasy face - and pout. Stick your tongue out at yourself, exaggerate your slump, cross your arms, stomp your foot, plug your nose at your sad stench, imagine yourself marching in a pity parade…

… and remember that Jesus loves you, and He wants to give you His most precious joy.


Being lonely is a horrible feeling.

I suggest a ministry. Three things will happen.

You will be productively busy and you will have less time to think about your aloneness.

You will meet Catholics with the same passions as you. You will develop friendships based on your shared convictions and work.

And, you will become more Christlike, living in service to others.

Pray for God to show you a ministry, but go ahead and jump into something. Even it’s not a good fit, it will lead to other things.

Pro-life, evangelization, the poor, catechesis, prayer intercession, support work for vocations, support work for the parish, youth work…lots of options.

I was really lonely when I first got back into the Church, but I did two things that led me to both to a deeper faith and a large network of devout Catholic friends. I helped start a study group for young moms (my stage in life back then) and I did Christ Renews His Parish. The latter led me to a Rosary group. And, the first introduced me to a great group of friends that has kept expanding.

You might also consider some lay apostolates. Our city has a very active Regnum Christi group. But other locales have Opus Dei and third order groups.

But, remember, this isn’t our true home. We will get lonely!!! We don’t won’t to get too comfortable here. :slight_smile:


Getting drunk and caruousing is okay in moderation.


This seems to be a contradiction. If you’re drunk, that means you were drinking without moderation.:rolleyes:

Scout :tiphat:


Hi Epistemes,
I too feel so alone now too. I came back to the Church 4and a half years ago. I have friends in the Church but they are not as zealous about the faith as I am and they want to go party. I have fallen many times too and have gone with them to clubs. I still want the attention of men and I love to dance with them. I have been married since I was 18. My husband is not Catholic or Christian. I agree that it is not easy to be a good Catholic. I go to confession all the time at least every 2 or 3 weeks because of habitual mortal sins. I was gone from the Church for a lot of years. I do have one very young friend that has left now to be a missionary. We talked about our faith constantly, we prayed together in the Adoration chapel, read the divine office and prayed the rosary together. I miss her so much! None of my siblings are Catholic. I can’t talk about my faith at home ever. I am involved in the Church now and that helps. I’ve gotten to know my priest this way and I can go talk to him if I need to. There are some people I know that are orthodox too but like you said they are busy with there children or if they are older they have a Catholic spouse.


My MIL always tells me…when I’m hurting over something…‘this too shall pass.’ Your feelings passed, and you thus, posted the second post.:smiley: I think that we all have moments, when we could throw caution to the wind, and follow our vices. We ALL have vices, from one degree to the next-because we are all human. The only person who never sinned was Christ (and Mary) But the devil tried to tempt Christ, but of course, did not succeed.

The devil looks for any slight opening to wiggle through, to get to us…to steal our hopes and dreams…and to cut the phone line between us and the Lord. He just needs one tiny opening…even the size of a needle head. So, you are on the right path. You are aware of your weaknesses…at least you see them for what they are! Many people go a lifetime, getting drunk, carousing, and messing things up for themselves…never growing close to God, when He’s been right there the whole time.

Don’t despair. May I suggest, praying the Rosary–daily. Mary is a tremendous blessing…a true refuge in a world of sinfulness, and sadness. Be vigilant. Keep a journal, and when you start feeling discouraged and distrought…write down what it is that is triggering that feeling.

Keep posting here too for advice. We need to help and support one another. God bless.:slight_smile:


Our Lord felt the same.

Just that He felt the absence of Himself.

What a mystery.

That is why we must be men of suffering, but like Our Lord, suffering because of the battle and not because when we look in the mirror we have wounds and the others laugh and mock.

To be innocent is to be omnipotent. Conserve it if you have it and fight for it back if you lost it. The innocent man is invincible, nor the flesh nor the Devil or even the World bring him to his knees.
He defies them all. Innocence is not being soft, but rather seeing all the tempations and enemies and saying “I am for God!” and crush them.

We praise olympians. We should praise the virtous, because they do the impossible.

God does not have mercy for self-pity. Imagine St. Peter stayed crying because he is tired and weak and “oh gosh look at what I did…” No he cried because he wanted to repair his sin, he wanted to give everything to Him. His tears were to propel him.

But they are not neccesary. St. Mary Magdalene never cried again. She was too ardent in Her love for Our Lord to cry.


Top 4 Reasons to stay in the Church

  1. DEATH
  4. HELL


Cheer up bro! I get very lonely too and I am a father of 2 and a husband. My wife and kids are Catholic but none of them seem to want to be committed. We basically have 0 friends. The Catholic Church is a lonely place for many of us. Look, you can PM me any time. I live in TX close to the Ft. Worth Diocese. If you just need to talk I am here for ya. Although, I may be tied up I promise I will get back to respond as soon as I can.

God bless you man!


Dear Epistemes,

You’ve got a lot of spirit, and the potential to be either a great leader or a great follower or a great servant in the Catholic Church. Seems like it would be a real honor to know you in person. Just hang in there, the Lord has a plan for you. :slight_smile:

When I first joined the forum, many of my posts were, looking back, rants about how come I as a single woman didn’t have any Catholic friends even though I made all kinds of efforts to join groups such as pro-life and Christ Renews His Parish, participate in the parish festival, attend “Donut Sunday,” be the first one to smile and say hello to others … even host a Christmas party at my apartment for the CRHP women in my parish.

(Somehow it seems that Protestants like me just fine, so I guess I shower enough and am not completely objectionable socially.) :o

Now I could have been really popular and had lots of “friends” over the years, (I was a bit of an eccentric practical joker who kept people amused) :smiley: :wink: :stuck_out_tongue: :whacky: , but when people came to find out that I actually tried to live my Catholic beliefs and on top of that was pro-life and had a serious side, too … These so-called “friends” would pretty much turn and run.

Have you ever heard of the case where there’s two brothers, and only the bigger one gets invited somewhere? And the bigger brother is decent enough to say, “Sorry, but if my little brother can’t come, neither can I.”

Well, when you walk closely with Christ, it can often become a matter of the world inviting you somewhere, and you find yourself saying, “Sorry, but if Jesus isn’t welcome here, I can’t come either.”

The good thing is, remember it’s in the Bible that if you acknowledge Jesus before men, He will acknowledge you before His Father in Heaven.

~~ the phoenix


I must admit when I first read the topic to this thread, I felt there was something bothering the person who wrote it.

It’s not always easy living our faith, we’re human, we make mistakes.

I very much understand being “lonely”. When were lonely then we have two choices, 1. We can continue to be lonely. 2. We can take “actions” to not be lonely.

How do we do that you ask? Well reading our Bible and praying is a great help. Then we need to get busy and do something for someone else. There are many “things” we can do to meet other people and not put ourselves in the Temptation Ways.

  1. If you can Voulenteer. There are many places you can give your time and in the end it makes you feel good, you meet people and this helps you to make friends.

  2. Call the Priest of your Church and see if there is “something” you can do for the Church or “Shut In’s” of the Church.

  3. Want to meet some really nice Catholics. Go play Bingo at a Knights of Columbus Hall. (of course there are other christians and some non-christians there too.) But you will find many Cathoics at the Knights of Columbus Hall.

I very much understand about not being able to talk about your faith. Sometimes it’s lonely if no one is around you that is Catholic. You may need to find ways to meet more Catholics. Sometimes if only We take that first step towards others in the Church, we can find that “breaking the ice” so to speak, is all that is needed.


Dreams are never sinfull (there is no consent of the will).

(Ask An Apologist)


Let me know when you are driving 'back’to church! You forgot to mention the morning after swallowing all that rot gut…how does your head feel? Were you in any accident while driving…any hit and runs reported in the papers…Your sophomoric letter does not mention AAnon…guilt is very much a part of a alchys persona. Partying is fine…there are great STDiseases out there…funny in your satire you forgot to mention those items…in 'funny’sit coms like Cheers,stuff like that never are mentioned either. More humans have been killed cause of booze and smoking then all the wars that is humorous also…while believing in a God of Love and Justice brings solace,caring,a challenge every time one leaves the front stoop! I recall I finally earned my ba at age 34 and started teaching…right in the midst of ‘do your own thing’ the sexual revolution of the 60s which promised freedom from the oppression of religion…and so many of the rock starts who pushed satans lie died soooo young but I guess,using your subliminal messge…but smiling. we ,in the church ,only sing.tra la la everyday have not a care in the world…heres your apple back…


whereas being a slave to Jesus through Mary seems to bring nothing but self-consciousness and self-defeat.

Not in my experience. They are VERY liberating people!


You know, Epistemes, about some of the things such as feeling guilt as a Christian while feeling “freedom” from that as a non-Christian, I think it’s worthwhile to note that Jesus said, “Pick up your cross and follow me.” Non-Christians often don’t pick up their crosses in the same way. That’s why the cross earlier seemed lighter! You weren’t carrying it!

Not that things need remain this way forever. There is enormous joy and peace in Christianity. Perhaps reading from the writings of the mystics, or talking with mystics in your own church (contacting them through your priest) may show you ways to experience that more?

Another very important thing to remember when feeling this guilt is that the Devil is the great accuser of all Christians. Not God.

If you are struggling to follow Christ, and are going to Confession and seeking to do His will, you have no reason to feel guilt. At all. Period.

God has saved you from sin. You have no sin left on you. So there is no reason for you to feel any guilt. But the Devil wants us to think the other way.

Not only is this Scriptural, but I have some personal experience with this. Once, I gave a message to a youth group at a church, and I thought I’d done very well. However, the group had gotten the wrong impression from my words and thought that I was condemning them. One of the girls was reduced to tears. Several were hurt. I didn’t know this, at the time.

Not long afterward, my fellow leaders of the youth group told me what the reactions had been, and I was devastated. I prayed to God for forgiveness, but no matter how I prayed, I felt absolutely horrible. I prepared a message for the next Wednesday and my mother told me to scrap it, because it was all about reassuring the group and alleviating my own guilt- they needed a real message.

I was entirely oppressed by guilt, consumed with it, and finally my Mom pointed out that the Devil is the accuser of God’s people. So I prayed to the Lord for deliverance from evil spirits and accusations. When that happened, my feeling of guilt was alleviated and the nasty encounter receeded. I was then able to get on with doing what God wanted me to do. I’m afraid I was still badly emotionally scarred by the experience and never really recovered from it until I Confessed it in my first Confession, when I became Catholic.

But Satan will take whatever opportunity he can to accuse us. He will attack in that way. So feelings of guilt, if you’ve Confessed any sins and are striving to follow God appropriately, are not from God and have no right to exist in your life. Reject them. You do not have to feel them.

Unlike guilt, what is from God is your current defiant struggle against sin! That is praiseworthy in Heaven and reveals your character, your passion for Christ.

Loneliness is a very hard one. I experience large bouts of that from time to time, because I’m surrounded incessantly by liberals, secularists and Protestants, not Catholics. So the absence of fellow Catholics hurts and the loneliness hurts, sometimes badly.

I agree about the lack of dating opportunities for people in that condition :wink: :D. I pray about that. But I just trust the Lord to looking after arranging my future marriage, and making sure that I somehow encounter the right woman :).

We just have to tough this out for our dear Lord. That’s how I react. That’s what I will do for my Lord. Loneliness will not defeat me.

I also feel this brings me closer to Christ, because he too endured isolation.

Your other complaint seemed to be about how enjoyable sin was :). Rough 'n tough . . . I’m afraid you’ll just have to fight those temptations, as we all do. I find porn very, very fun, stimulating and exciting, but I fight it, try not to look at it, and that is painful and miserable. I’ve also had those dreams you talk about, and resisting them is painful and miserable. If I find porn fun, how much more is the full dose of that immorality likely to be? So I fully accept your statement that sin is pleasant.

Something we can receive, in exchange, is the joy that come from Jesus Christ. I focus on entering more into that, as I believe the relationship with God to be a far greater delight than all earthly pleasures. We can all come to experience it in that way. Praying for more intimacy, for more closeness, is something I do every day, often several times a day. And God is faithful to answer these prayers.

I find one of the greatest ways to enjoy God is to thank Him for all the great things he has done for me. That, for me, is a doorway into joy. I thank Him as often as I think of it for as much as I can think of, in the immediate, that I have to be thankful for. That quickens joy for me in a wonderful way. The more I practice it, the more I have. It’s so simple, this activity, and yet such a blessing.

I’m sure the mystics had a lot more to say about how to come into this joy from Christ. I experience a great deal of it and it fulfills me. Knowing God is a million times better than the stupid porn I fight against. The more intimate we get with God, the better it gets, though gaining that intimacy doesn’t happen all at once, usually, and it takes years to develop and nurture. Years with a lot of pleasant episodes in the way, or a lot of hard ones, depending on whether we’re being tested or called to walk through the meadows of God’s peace.


I’m glad you posted what you did. Definitely don’t bother about apologizing for it. This gives people a chance to try to support you. It’s disturbing how many people don’t post on Catholic Answers for help until they’re in absolute crisis and are about to reject their faith. Until they reach that point, they try to go it alone, which may be pride. That certainly is a dangerous instinct, it seems. You haven’t followed that instinct, though, and the Body of Christ should support its members, not leave them to fend for themselves and fight solo. We’re one unity, a single organism with many minds dominated by the one mind of Christ. And we all struggle. So let’s struggle together, as much as we can, not alone :).



I was wondering what this topic was about. Thankfully it wasn’t what I thought. :bigyikes:

I completely understand what you are going through.Been there done that - still peek back for reality check-ups.

Something you might consider, given that your first impulse was to come here and write about it - is to continue that tradition with writing for others who are going through the same things. I can hook you up with publishing houses, or online article publishing sites if you like. It is very helpful both for you and others - because writing forces you to examine yourself and put into words what is going on, and it also forces you to come up with remedies for it - at the same time you are being productive by helping others to defeat temptation. Everybody wins.

I will also echo that you may PM me anytime and I’ll listen and support you as much as I can, I’m on here at least once a day, most everyday, so I will get back to you asap.






I don’t think that going to a club is a sin. Also drinking alcohol isn’t a sin. Having fun isn’t a sin either.
I think all three things could could turn into a sin just like everything else, including eating.

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