Transgender Related Question

I didn’t know where to put this, but since transgenderism is in the media so much I thought I would put it here.

Many, if not most, transgendered individuals state that they “felt” like their true gender did not match their physical body.

Well I have a question for all non-transgendered folks…do you feel like your gender? I ask this because I never have felt male or female. I am a totally heterosexual female, but I just feel like me…a person who happens to be female.

And since I am physically female, I just assume that I think, and feel, like other women, but I really don’t know. I can only guess what another person is thinking and feeling, until they express it. Am I out of the norm? Do most people know for certain that they feel like other members of their gender?

For instance, I am not a girly girl, nor do I like shopping, and I like a lot of things guys like. But I never once considered that I was a male. I just am a women who likes many traditional male things. Is this unusual?

The division between “girly girl” and “traditional male” is largely an artificial cultural construct.I was born a man, and I consider myself a “man”. However, I refuse to engage in certain “traditional male” behavior simply for the sake of proving myself a man. I don’t feel the need to hunt. Or drive a pickup truck.

And–this is important–these things are entirely mutable. A century ago, voting, or being a doctor was a “traditional male thing”. So, I wouldn’t feel insecure about it if I were you.

I’ve been wondering the same thing lately. I thought about making a thread, but, figured that everyone is sick of transgender/homosexuality threads. But, I too have been wondering how does anyone feel like the opposite sex?I have always just felt like me and I’m also not a very girly girl. And, I wonder, if one is physically one sex, how do they know that they feel like a member of the other sex inside if he or she has never had previous experience being the other sex? I don’t know what it feels like to be a man or have any idea what it feels like because I was never a man.

As a very girly girl, I do feel very feminine. But I have a mother who coached me for years on what it means to be a woman and I really do take the girly girl thing to the extremes- I’m a constant skirt wearer, hopeless romantic, needlework doer, etc.

I think when a transgender person says they “feel like the opposite sex”, what they are expressing is that they don’t feel right with themselves and they are obsessed with the idea that they would feel “right” if they were another gender. Of course, no one can actually tell what it “feels like” to be male or female. They can just say if they feel right with themselves.

I grew up with an older brother and in a neighborhood with mostly boys, so I played football and hockey and had spitting contests. But we didn’t have all these gender discussions when I was younger. I never felt like I should be a boy because I liked boy things, and nobody would have suggested it.

I will say the first time I truly thought about being a woman was when I was pregnant with my first child. Most of the other things up to that point- jobs, activities, interests, etc- weren’t gender-specific, but having a baby certainly is.

When I was a small child I thought I was a boy. I don’t like the wording of “feeling” like the other sex because I don’t believe is a “feel” particularly when it comes from a young age. You just think you are from the other sex for x or y reason and over time you develop self hatred against your own body because you ate told that because of your body you can’t do or fit into what you want or like. Then you start feeling and the feeling is just the result of built in self hathred.

I also did not like anything that girls like. Never dressed like a girl never played with girl’s toys never played with girls and I even asked to be called another name because my mame sounded too girly. All because I thought I was a boy. Even today I am not a girly girl and I am far away from being feminine. But as the OP back in my day (thanks to God) there were no doctors or people around me pushing gender theories (I am so lucky to not have been norm now a days because probably I would have been diagnosed with gender dysphoria ) so the people around me instead of telling me that yes I was a boy, tried to made me understand that I could be just me while being a girl.

Of course I did not like it back then and took me a long time to come around but right now my feelings are pretty much the same as the OP expressedbon the last paragraph.

What you are describing is just being a tom-boy, which many female are. I don’t think that is being transgender.
Conservative society is however a little bit harder on boys who may be a little effeminate, even though if they are not gay or transgender.

Thank you for this helpful and insightful post. It makes it a bit easier to grasp the concept.

OP: To be honest, I feel just like you. I have never, ever felt “feminine” though I am female. I always identified with male, not female, characters in media while growing up, and struggled until my late twenties wondering why I was so darn “weird” when it came to “feminine” things. On the other hand, I never felt “male” either - I just felt like me. This caused me to often wonder if something was wrong with me, but maturity and life experience took care of that.

I’m in my late 50’s and I’ve felt that way all my life. I never thought I was “male” but I didn’t feel “female” according to the model you see in society. I hate shopping, I do minimum makeup only for special occasions, I never wear dresses or skirts, and heels aren’t even on the radar. I don’t consider myself a “tom boy” either, as someone else suggested. I’m not into sports at all. When talking to other women I have a hard time relating because I don’t seem to care about the same things they do. When I’m with my bible study group (mixed men and women) I gravitate more to the men’s discussions. It’s really only fairly recently that I’ve stopped thinking I need to be more like other women and start accepting who I am. I’ve never questioned my sexuality, I’ve always been attracted to men. But I’ve always felt a little weird referring to myself as a “woman” and all that implies in today’s society. I think of myself as simply a person.

I pretty much understand what your saying although I always knew I was a girl but I played baseball with my brothers, could shoot as good as they etc. But never really paid much attention to ME. I never thought of myself as pretty or witty or fun to be around, Just me. But my kids tell me when looking at pictures of my younger years, that I was beautiful. They also talk lots about the fun they had with me when growing up. But I was also very strict about some things. And they tell how tough I was at a times. We just didn’t grow up with all this attention to ourselves. Today’s society is all ME, ME, ME. They tell us what to eat, what to wear, what to drive, how to look, etc.etc.etc. I and sooo glad I didn’t grow up in all that as I may have been confused trying to be what THEY wanted me to be. I am not materialistic, I do not follow fashions, and I have taught my kids the same. Think for yourself and don’t let the MOB rule. God Bless, Memaw

More intelligent people have a wider range of interests. This wide range of interests is a result of a “hungry mind”. When gender roles in a conservative society are extremely restricted, it contributes to discomfort. Don’t worry about it. It is their problem, not yours. Follow your interests and the talents God gave you. Has very little to do with gender identity or sexuality.

No, it is not.

There are lots of us who do not like stereotypically feminine things. Conformance to what popular culture stereotypes as feminine is not required to be a woman. Our sexuality is built into us, we do not lose it like a hat once we start wearing pants, or having jobs, or not being moms.

I like cooking, baking, gardening, needlework, but I also like the sciences, mathematics, engineering, the martial arts, especially Japanese archery. I’m still me.

My mother also tried to make me more girly but it did not work. I hate fashion, clothes shopping, but love wearing makeup. Go figure.

I guess what all these posts show is that there is no such thing as typical, we are all unique :thumbsup:

Very True! :slight_smile:

And by the way…

“Man, I feel like a woman” :smiley:

I was always very tomboyish and didn’t really feel that I looked like other girls my age. They all seemed so cutesy and girly, and I just wasn’t. When puberty hit, it got really bad for me because as hard as I tried, I just couldn’t look like the girls in my class… I was always the odd one out. But even with all of this, I never felt like I was anything other than female. Things didn’t change until college. I guess I was a late bloomer! :slight_smile:

Since I am transgender I wanted to help clarify this for you. Most people are talking about gender expression and how masculine and feminine they are. Those personality traits exist in a range for everybody regardless of their gender identity. Gender Identity is your own awareness of your own gender, wether you are male or female or something else. Now in 99.7% of people this identity matches your genitalia so it is easy to think that it must be that way for everyone. Those of us in the .3% struggle to find a way to explain how that feels but ultimately you may never be able to understand. I’m white and I can never fully understand how it feels to be black. I’m sited and I can’t fully understand what it would be like to be blind from birth.
I did feel different as a child but I didn’t think of my difference as a gender issue until puberty and I started developing not like the other girls I knew. As I entered junior high gender started to be enforced and I started to feel very much like something was not right. Still in the 60’s we had no vocabulary or research around this so I tried hard for 40 years to do as people expected me to do.
Transitioning to my authentic gender has brought me so much peace and empathy for anyone who faces a problem that I can’t understand that I feel truly blessed to have walked this (at times) very difficult path.
Thank you for trying to understand. Be blessed on your journey.

Right, it just feels normal. Because nothing is wrong.

If you are gender dysphoric, it feels wrong.

My own experience with gender dysphoria - before transition, was that I felt like I was living a lie that people which eventually see through. I was not really the boy they thought I was, or the man.And I believed God hated and was punishing me for making me the way he did. It is a hard thing to live like that. I can’t say I always felt like a girl or a female of course, no one knows what it is like to be someone else. But I did know what trying pretend to be a boy or man was … a big lie and it was wrong and painful.

Transitioning helped things align, and relieved the gender dysphoria. It has nothing to do with the cloths, how girly one is or isn’t, make up or any of that. Today my body reflects female and I am accepted as such - this feels normal, things are not wrong anymore.

I know I will be judged here for that over and over. People will say I mutilated my body and you can’t change your chromosomes and that I am living a lie now pretending to be something I am not. I say you have it all wrong though.

Same reason some people feel “wrong” for having two functioning legs or some people feel they are Jesus or Napoleon: mental illness.

Which is really just one of the symptoms of the widespread spiritual illness that plagues our age.

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