Not sure if this thread is supposed to be here, but here I go. In the seventh or eighth grade, after my parents had put in internet, I was wandering about on the computer. Unfortunately, I stumbled on a obscene website, of an illegal nature, but was not disturbed...I disapproved in the strongest of terms..but I was not pathologically disturbed. Fast forward to August 2009. I'm watching Lord of the Rings and there's a scene right before the Orcs attack Helm's Deep and for some reason that resurfaced an obscene image from that website. I have been pathologically disturbed since, with feelings ranging from guilt, embarassment, shame, confusion, unreality, and a sense of irreversible condemnation (despite what dumb-obvious logic tells me). Nothing I've told myself has made this go away permanently and I'm frightened I'll live with this forever. I've thought "who else has seen this besides me and the sick perverts that are actually in desire of this". I am so screwed up...this has never happened before in my life...and I am at a loss...nothing is works...pills, thinking it through, self-comforting or trying to explain this way. I have a feeling of "it happened, therefore you're screwed".
I'm already going to group therapy for mood swings, I've confessed and talked about this to a priest (who has been very supportive), I'm taking pills, etc. etc....but this just won't end and it been months now. :confused:
Has this ever happened to anyone else? What do I do?