Trouble Being Faith Full


Hi everybody Im new to this so I hope I do this right.
Ive been in a relationship for about 3 years and resently I have been seeing other guys as attractive. I am a grad student and I am very intrested in my professor. Hes about 15 years older then me and I cant help myself. I always want to talk to him and email him. His intellegence passion and maturity are what get me.
I have also been flirting with men from my past. I know this is bad and I dont want to hurt my boyfriend. I dont know what my problem is. He is the gratest and we love each other very much so I dont know where this is from.
I dont want to act on any of these excitments becuse I dont want to ruin what we have. I cant help wandering what other people would be like. :shrug:


It’s not all that unusual for a young woman to have a crush on a professor, nor is it unusual for a person in a relationship to be attracted to other people.

You’re not unfaithful unless you act on those attractions.

Whether you should stay with your boyfriend or not is another question, one only you can answer. Maybe you and your boyfriend need to work on getting the excitement back into your relationship, maybe you’ve gotten too comfortable with him and too used to him.

Do you think you’d feel different if he was doing something to impress you (like say becoming a professor)?


Since you are not married, you are under no moral obligation to stay exclusive with your boyfriend. You must be open and honest with him and never go behind his back, though.
You are still a single woman…so this is the time to explore and discover yourself and what qualities you truly want in a potential mate. Only you can judge if your attractions are healthy or if they are related to some sort of dissasfaction with yourself or insecurity. I see nothing wrong with you dating different people, just be smart and leave sex out of the equation. In all cases, be careful with your current boyfriend’s heart, and your own.


You are not married, or even engaged - you cannot “cheat” or “be unfaithful”. Sounds as if you are not mature enough for marriage. Best to wait til you are there THEN discern marriage in a serious relationship.


I have no dount that you truly admire your boyfriend and enjoy his company. But the reality is that if you REALLY loved him, you would have no interest in others whatsoever. It’s sounds pretty clear that you might not ready for a committed relationship.

Take it from an old man who knows: Young women are very easily manipulated by us older men. We know exactly what to say and do in order to get that we want and it doesn’t always involve sexual things. Sometimes it’d done simply to be seen in the company of attractive young women. Often times older men do this in order to boost their “status” among their peers. Professional men, including professors can be notorious for this.

If your boyfriend treats you well and comes from a good family, he might make a great husband and father someday. You probably should think twice about ruining a good thing.


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