Trouble Discerning


Alright, so I've been discerning for almost a year now and I am having a lot of trouble because it feels as though each day I am being called to something different. One day I may feel that I am being called to marriage, another day I feel I'm being called to join a religious order, and another I feel I'm being called to be a diocesan priest. I still continue to pray everyday about it but I was just wondering if any of you had any useful tips or pieces of advice/wisdom that could help me out?


It happens. Just keep praying, keep discerning, keep trusting in God, stay close to the sacraments, stick to adoration, talk with a priest if you can and God will lead you. A nice thing to do is to start praying the Divine Office, start with one major hour and then slowly add more (and you’re already doing the Rosary daily if your signature is correct).

I think it’s best to resign yourself to the will of God. Your Father in Heaven knows what is good for you, place all your trust in Him. Don’t worry about the future. Slowly you will start to understand and know where God is calling you. Listen to His voice speaking in your heart. Perhaps it won’t be easy - sometimes it is hard to say “Yes”, so don’t expect immediate comfort when you begin to realize. All you need to do is say “Yes” every day to Christ, and see where He leads you.


Thank you very much, that actually was very reassuring! I guess my biggest problem has been a lack of trust in God. I’m always trying to force answers on myself and I’m always searching too hard. From now on I’ll know to trust in God and let him lead the way. Once again, thank you and God Bless! :slight_smile:


Hi, RyanK.

I think your dilemma, if it can even be properly characterized as such, is one commonly faced by those who seek to know and follow God's will for their lives. And He does have a plan whereby we may attain the full measure of grace He desires to bestow on and channel through each of us.

I also believe that many times (though maybe not every time) He shows us His will for our lives - guides us to the path He has cleared for us- by asking us to step out in faith on, perhaps, numerous paths with the understanding that, regardless of how much we may desire to continue down a particular path, He may place obstacles in front of us to show us His will. Any particular obstacle may seen insurmountable or actually be insurmountable. In either case He tests our faith. Are we willing to persevere and find a way to overcome the obstacle? If unable to overcome it, are we willing to accept that this is not the path He has cleared for us, turn back, and start down another with the assurance that we will eventually find our path?

I'm certainly not in a position to advise you on what His will is for your life, but, based on what you've shared, it seems He has presented you with a number of attractive paths. My advice would be to continue to pray for the gift of discernment, first and foremost, and secondly, then, to explore the paths diverging before you in order to see how far He allows you to travel. If you do so in faith, with your heart attuned to Him, He will, most assuredly, show you which path to follow.

As to the time all this this might take, bear in mind that our Lord is outside of time. As difficult as it is for us to accept that He doesn't necessarily operate according to our schedules, He asks us to do so, to be patient, to wait*on Him. Indeed, our *entire lives are, hopefully, a journey to Him.

Please accept these thoughts from a fellow traveller seeking his own path and struggling with his own impatience.



Ryan, just keep in mind that it took a while for you to learn how to throw a baseball. It's like this, too.


I have been there before, It was very confusing. During High School I would want to be a priest, then I would see a girl that I thought was attractive, and I would feel a connection, but nothing would happen. It happened throughout my senior year, last year. And I just didn't apply for seminary because I was so confused. I did however go on a retreat this summer and God spoke clearer to me than ever. I left not wanting to be a priest because of a girl, I didn't meet her, but I found her on facebook afterwards an added her. Didn't speak to her. But I tried to listen to God, and I used what I learned on the retreat to discern, and I felt called to go to seminary. And I keep my discernment stable by praying the rosary every day. And now I am in the process of applying for seminary, Thanks be to God!. I also pray in front of the Blessed Sacrament every Thursday. I still feel those attractions to girls, but I know not to give in because they are normal. And giving up relationships (never had one) is a cross that we have to bare to follow Christ in the life he chooses us.

Even if it is a desire to become whatever, or own a nice house and a family. Those are Crosses we have to bare.


Well, thank you everyone for the great advice! It’s helping me a lot! =]


Hello Ryan,

Look at it this way-the Lord is taking you on a tour of what makes all Vocations-Gods Will, Gods choice, and your unconditional Yes. We all must learn to appreciate all Vocations, as we discern which one is for us, what is our place. You will come gradually to the point where you will say: I honor this calling, but I know it is probably not for me. I can see myself doing this or that, more and more. Remember, the Apostle were on a three year tour, not three hour tour, before they were ready and able to say Yes to the Priesthood. This was a unique event in history, yet, there was preparation all the same. All in God`s good time. Keep giving of yourself in service and the way God wants you to serve Him will become clearer. It worked for me. You have all you need to discern, patience comes with self-denial and the practice of sacrifice. I am praying for you. Once you give your Yes, Jesus will get you through to the other side, just step in the boat and let Our Lady train you to be His servant, like She did at Cana. Do whatever He tells you. Show up for work, and She will put you to work, at home, in your parish and everywhere.

Fr. Dominic


Thank you very much Father! I greatly appreciate the advice! =]


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