[quote="SmileyGirl3, post:6, topic:178591"]
I'm sorry to hear of your issues with your parents in law. That sounds like it has to be hard. I'm not sure exactly what you can do, but try to put yourself in their shoes. I also don't know all the details, I am sure there is a long relationship there which is too much to put into a few lines. But I had a few thoughts...
I am in my 20s, but I know that if I ever left the Catholic Faith it would break my parents heart. Truthfully I am not sure if they could bear to continue a relationship with me at all, not because they would suddenly hate me or stop loving me. Quite the opposite, they would always continue to love me, but it might be too painful for them. So maybe that is possibly what you are feeling when you are around them. (They could also just be misdirecting their anger, which is unfair to you.) Try to also keep in mind that they seem to want a relationship with you in spite of the religious differences.
I am also torn about how to approach the holidays. When we gather for Christmas and Easter, although Santa and the Easter Bunny are a part of the holiday, they are not the focus. That might not be the case in your husband family, where they might treat it as a secular holiday. You could try attending Mass with them (I would make sure to learn the customs of Mass if you do this, and do not take communion). Or you could always try to spend these holidays with your side of the family or just with your husband and child. (That also might make the in laws really miss and appreciate you and your family more.)
Lastly, my grandmother does not get along well with my mother at all. So I understand how your son will feel. I know she has always loved my cousins more and when I visit her she talks about how great they all are, but it does not bother me too much. My parents loved me plenty growing up, I received more than enough love from them to make up for that. And if anything it is only your in laws' loss, they are the ones who might look back and regret they did not try to cultivate a stronger relationship with you and your son. You can only do so much.
Good luck, hope it all works out.
*I think these are great suggestions. Inanna...it is not personal to you, I don't believe. I think that their expectations (which we all have as parents) were for their son to marry a Catholic girl. But, he didn't...and the best you can do, is be kind and loving. Keep discussing your thoughts with your husband. I imagine that since he left the faith, they are trying to make sense of that as well. So, it's not personal with you...that might help you feel a little less offended. :o They have a lot of emotions swirling around, in their defense. But, it's been five years now that you have been married? They need to decide to love you for you, and end the cold shoulder. I could see if you had just joined the family...but five years is a long time for them to be harboring this type of resentment. Prayers for all involved. I agree with you Inanna, family is very important. You are very compassionate to want to do your best to mend fences w/your husband's family. *