Trust in God


#1

Please help me to trust in God. I say I do, but honestly, I don’t truly think I really do. I mean, I think having severe OCD plays a big part, but still…it’s depressing. Especially in Confession, thinking “am I really absolved?”

Part of me wants to confess every single thought, detail, all the reasons for if I really did commit it, then also all the reasons for thinking I didn’t commit it, explain graphic detail, which can be sickening, dark and bad, etc. And when I feel like this, I don’t feel absolved from ANYTHING! I feel worse, frustrated, confused, and sin EVEN MORE!!

I had my whole confession spelled out in my head not too long ago, confessed my sins, then when I left I thought “oh I didn’t mention that one, or did I? I think I did. What if I didn’t?” and blah, blah blah! I don’t want to be bothered with it any longer, because everytime I dwell on it it destroys me and I fall away from God–EVERYTIME! Last time I had fallen away for almost a year, missing Mass all because of frustration, drifting further from the Church.

I just want to go into the Confessional, pour my heart out to the Lord, simply confess my sins, be absolved and return home, eagerly waiting for the Eucharist the following day, instead of dwelling on “what ifs” all the time.

Interestingly, today, when I was feeling this way, that I didn’t go into precise detail, but at the same time, held nothing back, I worried again, but…the priest said to be relieved from having such grace from God for my sins, and raised his voice louder when saying “I absolve you from your sins” during the end. I turned on the radio driving away and one of the first things I heard on some station (I think) was some guy that said “apology accepted.” And a prayer card the priest gave me, on it’s opening lines spoke of God’s forgiveness and to trust Him with confidence. Was He speaking to me? Telling me everything’s ok?

Yesterday my dogs got lose, were gone for 3 hours, my mother-in-law called from work. I went home to look for them, praying to God while driving. I was scared, worried, thinking I’m going to be one of those poor, poor people putting up lost dog signs.

Honestly, after I got home and went looking for them back in the forest trails, with my golden retriever helping me (it was the pure breed shepards that got loose and ran off), I never thought they would be found. I thought “God isn’t going to listen, care, or help. It’s my problem, not His. And your dogs are gone, forever! Probably stolen, lost, or…killed!”

I was in desparity! But low and behold, after debating to drive up a certain way (once I got into my car), I found them in some man’s yard, just sitting in the shade, taking a breather! Lol! Their tongues were lolling and they looked tired, must have been roaming around forever. But they were there. I thanked God, and felt ashamed. I wasn’t trusting Him, not a bit, and He delivered. (Though there was paint on the shepards, someone shot them with a paintball gun, there’s a factory down there, and I imagine they were scared seeing two 110 pound german shepards going haywire :slight_smile: But they would never hurt a fly, they’re big babies and I wrestle with them all the time.)

So please, help me to trust in God, please.:frowning:


#2

Only advice I can find is from the Bible…

2 Corinthians 3:4
"And such **trust **have we
through Christ
to God-ward"

So our trust to God is through Christ.
Ask Jesus for a trust toward God.

John 14:13
"And whatsoever ye shall ask in my name
that will I do…"

H


#3

Dark Warrior:

You’re going to need time to get through this. It will not happen over night. I don’t know your situation or your exact location. You may well be served by a multiple approach: a good confessor who is also a spiritual director and a good counselor to help with the OCD.

Obsessive thinking can cripple us and lead us to feel miserable. It can even limit out activity. Since you asked about trusting God, if you are not reading any biography of a saint, I would suggest that you begin with one. You may have one whom you are interested.

Befoe you blow me off, hear me out. Obsessive thinking can be turned around to our benefit. If we begin by falling in love with someone who has led a good Christian life and has been a healthy Christian, we begin to think about them and to want to imitate them. This takes us out of ourselves and into another way of seeing the world, God and ourselves.

One beautiful book that I would recommend are the writings of St. Elizabeth Ann Seton. St. Elizabeth Ann was one of the most positive saints in modern history. All of her writings help us focus on the goodness of God and his great love for us. You may like her.

The beginning to trust is to begin spending time on God’s love for us, rather than on our sinfulness. When we stop to contemplate God’s love for us, our sinfulness becomes tiny in comparison to his mercy. We can begin to believe that there is nothing that God will not forgive if we are truly sorry.

As to worrying after you leave the confessional, I can only say what my novice master once said to me, “STOP IT! You are not greater than God. Your sins are not greater than his mercy. What makes you think that your memory should be better than God’s?”

At first I thought this was funny. The more I thought about it, the more sense it made to me. Maybe I did forget something. But I was sorry. God remembers that I was sorry. The priest in the words of absolution says “Through the ministry of the Church, the passion death and resurrection of our Lord Jesus Christ I forgive you, etc etc” He doesn’t say “I forgive only what you remember.” He forgives what you remember and what you may have inadvertently forgotten, but for which you are sorry.

You can go home in peace. Your sins have been forgiven. There are two conditions for the forgiveness of sins:

  1. You must have committed a sin.
  2. You must be truly sorry.

The Sacrament of Reconciliation guarrantees that your sins are forgiven. But it only works contingent on these two requirements. If there is no sin or there is no sorrow for sin, there is no absolution even if the priest does say the words.

That’s why in your act of contrition you must always say that you are sorry for these and all your sins, even the ones you wanted to confess and forgot.

In the case of honest people, you can be sure that the sins that people forget to mention in the confessional are usually not grave or mortal since. Honest people do not forget the biggies. If you’re an honest person, you’re probably not forgetting any mortal sin.

Venial sins are taken care of through prayer, sacrifice, acts of charity and the Eucharist.

Finally, remember that to be guilty of sin you have to meet three conditions:

  1. The action or thought must truly be a sin.
  2. You must be sure that it’s a sin.
  3. You must freely choose to engage in the sin.

If you’re unsure that something is a sin, then you don’t meet criteria number 2. If you engage in an act by compulsion or under duress, you are probably less guilty of sin than the person who engages with full consent. So you don’t meet the criteria nunber 3. If you believe that something is a sin, but it’s not you don’t meet criteria number 1. Criteria number 1 is the more difficult criteria. Because we should never do something that we believe is a sin, until we find out that it’s not. This only applies if we have a way of finding out. Otherwise, we trust God’s mercy and make the best possible judgment.

We must always choose to do good. One good may be better than another. That’s another story.

I hope this helps.

Fraternally,

JR :slight_smile:

Here is the book by St. Elizabeth Ann Seton

Elizabeth Ann Seton: A Woman of Prayer : Meditations, Reflections, Prayers and Poems Taken from Her Writings by Elizabeth Ann Seton and Sister Marie Celeste


#4

I would say, based on my experience, YES, that was God speaking to you. :thumbsup: God, and the Virgin Mary, speak to me in those kinds of ways often, and that sounds like exactly how they’d do it. Try to just believe it- or if you can’t really believe it, just accept it and tell yourself that it’s in God’s hands, and you don’t have to conjure it through believing hard. It’s done by his grace.


#5

St. Francis of Assisi is my favorite Saint. I have a biography written by a historian priest, and that book was so beautiful I melted into goo upon reading it.

St. Francis really inspired me to cling closer to God, to be thankful for everything, even an old stale piece of bread, even a rock to use as a pillow! I desperately wanted to journey like Francis when I read the book, was very much uplifted.

That was a long time ago.

Thanks for taking the time to help me. I most certainly would not “blow you off,” :o Thanks so much:)


#6

Thanks for comforting me Lief (is Lief a real name? I love it! Was thinking of using it in a novel I’m working on :slight_smile:

I will do as you say, I will trust in His mercy. He know’s my heart. I belong to Him. I will trust my God.


#7

Hi Dark Warrior

I was just having this very conversation with a friend who is hurting this morning.

Faith boils down to this - taking God at His Word. No more, no less.

You also need to remember, Our Loving Father isn’t sitting up there in heaven looking for excuses to destroy us, instead He’s looking for opportunities to help us, to save us, to Love us - all we need to do is LET HIM.

Jesus came here to earth to serve. He is still looking for ways to serve. He is constantly looking at us waiting for us to ask things of Him. Sometimes we have a tendency to look at God - and Jesus in particular - as being ‘done’ with us, since the crucifixion. That all He is going to do for us, apart from forgiveness, He already did. But what does He have to say about that?

“If any one love Me, he will keep My word, and My Father will love him, and We will come to him, and will make Our abode with him.”

God wants us to come to perfection in Him, through Him, and with Him taking up residence in our Hearts - and He will do all that He can for us, since we can do nothing of ourselves - in order to bring that to fruition. Stop relying on yourself - by ourselves we can do nothing but evil…but we can do all things through Him who strengthens us.

Not sure if this will help you much - but I found it looking HERE which is a continuation of a book called “The Imitation of Christ” a very very good book - this volume is on the Interior Life.

BLESSED is he who appreciates what it is to love Jesus and who despises himself for the sake of Jesus. Give up all other love for His, since He wishes to be loved alone above all things.

Affection for creatures is deceitful and inconstant, but the love of Jesus is true and enduring. He who clings to a creature will fall with its frailty, but he who gives himself to Jesus will ever be strengthened.

Love Him, then; keep Him as a friend. He will not leave you as others do, or let you suffer lasting death. Sometime, whether you will or not, you will have to part with everything. Cling, therefore, to Jesus in life and death; trust yourself to the glory of Him who alone can help you when all others fail.

Your Beloved is such that He will not accept what belongs to another – He wants your heart for Himself alone, to be enthroned therein as King in His own right. If you but knew how to free yourself entirely from all creatures, Jesus would gladly dwell within you.

You will find, apart from Him, that nearly all the trust you place in men is a total loss. Therefore, neither confide in nor depend upon a wind-shaken reed, for “all flesh is grass”[12] and all its glory, like the flower of grass, will fade away.

You will quickly be deceived if you look only to the outward appearance of men, and you will often be disappointed if you seek comfort and gain in them. If, however, you seek Jesus in all things, you will surely find Him. Likewise, if you seek yourself, you will find yourself – to your own ruin. For the man who does not seek Jesus does himself much greater harm than the whole world and all his enemies could ever do.

It seems that once we let the inconsequential slip away, what remains is Christ - and Him crucified. That is all that is important. Meditating on Him, by whatever means we choose to use to that end - will bring us to a place where we can begin to Love Him, from there - Grace will flow bringing with it Faith. Faith can move mountains.

Peace and Blessings

John


#8

Hi again

Something I just came across that you as well as others who are suffering from Mental Illnesses and disabilities might find beneficial HERE. Looks interesting.

Peace and Blessings

John


#9

“Lief Erikson” is a misspelling of “Leif Eriksson,” the name of the Norseman who first discovered North America. I misspelled it when I was really really young and used it as my username on a website. I stayed on the website permanently (still on it), so I got used to the misspelling and use it elsewhere now too :). I find the original source of the name (Leif Eriksson) to be a really cool adventurer, though.

I find it very lovely that God gave you a personal message through the means you described (the card, radio and priest’s raised voice), to strengthen your confidence :). You have been blessed :).


#10

DISCLAIMER: The views and opinions expressed in these forums do not necessarily reflect those of Catholic Answers. For official apologetics resources please visit www.catholic.com.