G l o r i o u s M a x i m u s.
i’m so sorry beyond words, GloriousMaximus, that you have suffered so much and gone through something so traumatic as to have experienced your trust and faith in God being completely shattered. if you’d like to tell us more about it, i know that we’d be more than happy to give you advice and support you through it—if you’d rather talk about it more privately, please know that i am always here, and will always care, so please don’t ever hesitate to contact me if you ever need anything at all or would just like to talk. if you’d rather not reveal what happened, i completely understand, and you definitely don’t have to.
i am so sorry, GloriousMaximus, that this event was so traumatic that it affected your relationships with God and with others. no matter what you have done, and no matter what mistakes you may have made in your confusion and anger, i have no doubt that God will forgive you, help you, heal you and restore you completely back to Himself in Love if you only return to Him. please know that i will be keeping you in my constant thoughts and deepest prayers, that you will find the strength, hope, trust and power to return to God in complete faith, and know that nothing will happen to you that is against His Will, and that even when we go through pain throughout our lives, He is always with us, and we are forever far from alone. He is forever the Healer and the Lover of our souls, and i know that He cries with us when we suffer, and rejoices with us when we are uplifted. please remember that even if an event is negative, if you trust in God to redeem it, only good can come out of it. Satan will want to twist the negative events in our lives and cause us to doubt and mistrust God, and drown in our own despair, but God only wants to strengthen us, purify us and bring us closer to Himself in Love.
GloriousMaximus, i am so sorry that you feel spiritually dry right now—my best advice to you would be to try to restore your relationship with God through prayer, Bible study/reading/meditation, Confession and the other Sacraments—especially the Eucharist—and Eucharistic Adoration, which is always such a healing and amazing experience for me. i will definitely pray for you, that you overcome this completely, and learn to place your trust and faith in God completely and forever. i can definitely relate to you because of the suffering i have recently endured and what i have gone through earlier in my life, but i am slowly learning how to place my trust and faith in God, and i will pray with all my heart that you are able to do the same. i suggest that in order to overcome your current experience of spiritual dryness, you actually pour out your heart to God and tell Him how you are feeling, whether through a prayer journal, meditation, etc., and listen for His response. i have no doubt that He will answer you in some way, even if His response is not immediate, and that He will bring you closer to His hope and healing in time. this is how i suggest you come closer to God through prayer. when it comes to Bible study/reading/meditation, i would suggest that you pick out those verses that especially encourage you and memorize them, so that instead of being torn down, you are constantly being uplifted and inspired, and have a weapon against the enemy when he attempts to discourage you. i suggest that you go to Confession as soon as possible so that you can receive its graces and start afresh in your relationship with God, and probably receive some excellent advice from the priest as well. receiving the Eucharist always brings me hope and healing, and it is such a refreshing, beautiful experience that i definitely suggest you enjoy to replenish and refresh your relationship with our loving God, Who loves you so much and wants so much to have a beautiful relationship of intimacy and love with you. finally, i suggest that you spend at least some time in Eucharistic Adoration, for Jesus has always brought me healing and hope whenever i have spent time with Him, and the more i get to know and experience Him, the more i love and trust Him. i hope and pray that all of these things will do for you what they have done for me over time. you might not see immediate results, but please don’t give up—please keep working, and please keep trying, and your faithful efforts will soon bear much fruit.
i definitely know from experience how hard it is to trust God when everything seems to be falling apart, and everything hurts so much. i have experienced this lately in my own life, actually, and am still in the slow process of complete healing. i can only tell you that the more you get to know God, the more you will realize how much He is to be trusted no matter what happens in our lives, and how His Love is behind even the most tragic and traumatic of our experiences. i will definitely pray for you with all my heart, GloriousMaximus, in the deep hope and prayer that God grants you healing from the traumatic event that affected you so deeply, and restores you completely and forever back to Himself in faith and love. in fact, let me pray for you now: