Trying not to be bitter -- help!


#1

I have an older brother and an older sister. Me and my sister both feel some bitterness (my sister moreso than me) towards my parents and my brother. We feel like my parents spend waaaaaay more time with my brother’s kids than with ours (we all have 2 kids each).

Here’s the thing: My parents pretty much raised my brother’s kids (he had his daughter at a young age and him and his gf didn’t move out until their daughter was 12 yrs old).

My parents buy waaaaay more things for my brother’s kids than ours, spend waaaay more time with my brother’s kids than ours. The only time my parents spend time with my kids is if I bring the kids over to my parents house (they never initiate), or if I have a doctor’s appt my dad will come over and watch the boys.

This hurts me and my sister a lot, and I’m trying not to be bitter about it but its hard. What can I do to feel less upset over this? Ideas?


#2

get over it, spend energy on cultivating good relationships with family members that do not depend on monetary gifts and keeping track of who does what to whom and who gives what to whom. focus on respecting and loving your parents and brothers and sisters, on and cherishing your own children, and teaching them to cherish people for who they are, not what they have or what they give. just remove the point tracking system from your mental baggage. give over the habit of discussing your grievance with one family member with others in the family or outside.


#3

While I agree with some of what you said, telling the OP to “get over it” isn’t very kind. I’m guessing that it’s not the gifts and things to her brothers’ kids that bother her, it’s that her parents don’t show an interest in her kids, which would understandably hurt.

SDMom, have you tried speaking with your parents and telling them how much your kids would like to see them on a regular basis? Maybe you could have a standing “date” weekly or monthly when your parents come over and you all have dinner together or something like that.

Sorry you’re feeling bitter, but the fact that you recognize it and don’t want to be that way is good. I would confess it and ask Jesus to help you be able to resist the resentment and bitterness in the future – I’m sure He will help you. :hug1:


#4

Thank you, Belle. Your post really made me cry. May our merciful and loving Father bless you abundantly for your understanding and kindess. Hugs right back to you … :hug3:


#5

Love is not measured by money spent or things purchased. Say this over and over and over :slight_smile:

Pray for them every day, thank God that your parents have been able to give those children so much.


closed #6

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