Trying not to play God


#1

There is a girl at work who can absolutely drive me nuts. We have been working together for over 3 years. The good thing is, I have learnt that there is such a thing as working out our differences because there have been times where we get along.

When we first started working together, the way I handled her was to only go near her for business purposes. That was not the best solution because it caused a certain stress. So I tried to relax and be friendly and she was forgiving and things got a lot better.

It does not change the fact that our working relationship is like a roller coaster. Every 4-5 months things get tense and I get a headache thinking of going to work in the morning. I have also learnt that if I want to 'talk about it, I need to choose my time and words carefully'

I was telling a Catholic friend about it. She told me to pray for her (good advice). She also said, I never know when one of us will get a better job and this is not forever (good wisdom). But then, she also said the reason I work with her is because God knows this woman needs my prayers so He put our paths together so that I would pray for her. And that is where I think the point is being pushed to far.

I am not exactly sure how to word this but I think it is wrong to take on the attitude 'She needs my prayers'. It makes me feel like I am insinuating I know better than God who needs my prayers. It makes me feel like I am assuming I know her heart which I don't. I only have an impression because of her behaviour but I in no way shape or form know her heart.

I think taking on the attitude 'God told me to pray for my enemies so I will pray for her' is being more humble and obedient.

What do others think? Have I made my point correctly?

CM


#2

Try to think of some of what our Lord said.

“This command I give you, that you love one another, as I have loved you”

“Whatever you do for the least of these, you do for me”

When it gets to where is seems unbearable, spend some time on your knees, in front of a crucifix.

I have had the same experiences at work. These things have helped me keep my suffering in perspective.


#3

Sometimes I feel like I am incapable of showing charity and love towards others. When I get that way, I ask for His Charity, His Love. It's amazing how I begin to step out of myself and see through His eyes. It really works. :)


#4

ONly you can “know” if you made your point correctly. :smiley:
We’ll try to answer what you seem to have asked.

I see no problem with either what your friend said or with your take on it (highlighted above).
In either event, you pray for this girl. We all need prayers so this is a good thing to do for her. It will also likely effect you in a positive way - perhasp lower your stress level in dealing with her. Now, when things get tense you have a release. Prayer - - -

Peace
James


#5

MAybe I should clarify my point. I am not exactly sure of the parable but it is the one about 2 men praying in a church. One could not lift up his head he was so ashamed and the other was thanking God for making him so good that he did not have to sin like the one who could not lift his head.

I am totally agree with praying for your enemies. I simply want to do it the way the man who could not lift his head. I do not want to do it with an attitutde 'This woman is less than me'

The part about praying in front of a crucifix is a good idea. Would praying in front of a statue of Jesus be just as good?

CM


#6

Good point.
However in the example you give both men were praying “for themselves”, one with humility and one with pride.
In the case of your friend, you don’t ask God to make her “as good as you” or anything like that, you simply ask God to give her the graces she needs, and to give you the graces you need to show His Love to her, so that both of you may give glory to God.

The part about praying in front of a crucifix is a good idea. Would praying in front of a statue of Jesus be just as good?

CM

Surely. They are both just symbols that help us focus. Our prayers got to the same place - To The Living God.

Peace
James


#7

I think that your friend was trying to say that you don’t know what is going on in the girl’s life. If she is really hard to work with, she may be stressed about things in her personal life. Or even if her life is “good” she may not have a relationship with God to turn to when things do get rough. You do, so use it! :slight_smile:
I don’t think it’s a sense of being better, but everything does happen for a reason, and you were put in her life for a reason. Make the most of it!
I had a situation where I was struggling with praying for coworkers - I was praying for a girl to find God. It felt like the parable you mentioned - like I thought I was better than her because I was a Christian. But the thing was, I KNEW she was not, and I knew that her decisions were hurting her. If your heart is in the right place, I think it is not as bad as you fear. And if your heart is not in the right place, perhaps you can get it there.


#8

DISCLAIMER: The views and opinions expressed in these forums do not necessarily reflect those of Catholic Answers. For official apologetics resources please visit www.catholic.com.