Trying not to shut down!


Ok, so Wednesday when DH left I had my pity party day. Yesterday, I was so busy that it was a better day. DH is doing a pretty good job of keeping in touch, which helps with my fears of him not being trustworthy. I have tried not to smother him with phone calls and texts either. I am trying not to worry myself with the fact that when DH was talking to those women on the computer a few months ago when he was out of town on business trips, he didn’t seem to act any different. He called and text then too. But since he told me he would stop, I should take his calls and texts as him trying to give me piece of mind and that I can trust him? Right? Meet him halfway right? Don’t worry, Give it to God, right? Trust in God that I can trust DH?

Today is worse than yesterday. When I worry, it gives me a feeling in my stomach and I have a hard time not obsessing. I tell myself, Ok I am going to get up and do something! Then my thoughts turn to worry and I find myself still in the same spot. I have been praying when I get this feeling, and it helps. I just miss him and want to be able to know for sure that he is still doing his part even while he is away. I should just do MY PART by trusting that he is doing his part and getting off my rear! Right?

Anyway, I guess I just had to rationalize everything out loud. Well, not so much out loud, but in this thread. I would still like any comments, suggestion, additional advice, ANYTHING. I would appreciate them. Thanks so much. This forum has really been helping me.

Smiles, :slight_smile:


Oh hon, what can you do to occupy your mind!!! Stay in the present and enjoy it. How can you work on improving yourself and becoming the best person you can be, the person God wants you to be. Look for what you can be greatful for and fight against your morbid thoughts. Prayers for you!!!


I suggest a good book, a hobby that takes your focus, go for a hike, a day trip somewhere, watch a good movie, go meet some seniors and just get busy.
When my husband is away, I simply pray for his safe return.


It sounds like you have an anxiety disorder, have you ever talked to a doctor about it?

In the end, you cannot control what your husband will do. If he decides to cheat again, he will cheat again.

Checking up on him is just you wanting (infinite) reassurance. You will get your fix, and then you will need another.

Part of trusting your partner not to cheat is trusting yourself to be capable of handling the situation where he does.

You need to work on building your life in a way where even if your husband cheats and leaves you, you will still be okay. Then you will not be so compelled to check on what he is doing all the time.


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