Not sure if this is the right forum… but here’s my situation…
I’ve got a friend who is pregnant for the fifth time. Her first child is 21 (and pregnant with her second baby), her second child is 14, her third is 4, her fourth is 15 months… and she’s due in Feb. (She got off to a rocky start in life with having babies and met the man of her dreams after her first two kids and a divorce were under her belt. The last three pregnancies are babies with her new husband).
They started off the relationship right… did everything according to God, learned NFP, no sex before marriage, etc. They are deeply devoted to each other.
This last baby was a complete and utter shock to them. She is viewing it as a failure on her part because she “should have known” and her cervix wasn’t all the way down so she failed. She has been severely miserable and hating this last pregnancy.
Last year, during RCIA, I helped her put together a scathing 6 page paper to read to the class because the “instructors” for RCIA had taught, the previous weekend, that birth control and abortion are ok according to the CC. She read the paper to the class while I deflected the rude comments and corrected the people that wanted to inject personal opinion into CC teaching. My friend was very adament to get the truth out. So I know (rather knew) her stance on birth control.
Now… because of this suprise pregnancy, she’s talked of allowing her husband to get a vasectomy. She even talked to the local priest and he agreed that it would be prudent for them to do it!!! Now that she’s got his “blessing” she wants the procedure to go through. I did tell her about two months ago that I don’t agree with them but I can’t force the issue between a married couple.
I got to feeling really guilty for that comment as I viewed it as an ignorant pro-abortionist claim of “my friend wants to abort, I don’t agree with it but I can’t change her mind so why bother?” So I spoke up, gave her my honest opinion along with scripture from CCLI and told her I’m carrying this burden with her and I just want to help her make the right, informed choice, she started crying because she knows where I’m coming from (and I do believe she respects me enough to listen and weigh what I’m saying seriously). I feel for her because I know this is a hard decision. She’s going to be 40 in April and she VERY ADAMENTLY doesn’t want any more babies… but because she views this last pregnancy as a failure on her part… she’s not placing her trust where it should be.
Does anyone have experience in how to possibly help her? I can’t confirm or deny if the husband has set up an appointment already, but she’s wanting him to “get it done” before the baby is born in Feb. Thanks in advance!!