Trying to discern marriage or priesthood


I thought that God wanted me to be a priest when I was a little kid, I strongly disliked the idea as I could never in a million years see myself as a priest and had extreme stress over it for a long period of time. I asked God to give me a sign if thats what he truly wanted for me and he gave me a sermon about the seminary through a priest at my parsh, could be a sign could not…who knows God’s ways anyways.

Its been many years since then. In fact I’ve gone through a period of about 3 or so years where I sort of fell away from a relationship with him due to some issues with having trouble remaining chaste. (I don’t know why the lord would risk having someone with that history in the priesthood for future risk of any kind). I have now been dating a girl for awhile now. She was someone who I never thought I would ever have interest in but surprise surprise…it happened. I couldn’t be happier. To me she’s the most amazing perfect girl in the world and I can’t believe that I’m with her. Truly a gift from God. She’s truly perfect in everyway…and not only that but her example of living a holy life brough me back to God and the Catholic church (she’s a protestant). Through her my relationship with God is on its way to becoming stronger than ever. Before her I never thought of getting married, I just planned on living a life as a single military officer and being happy with that. But now I want a family and I want to have children and to share that joy with a lifetime spouse. It just all seems perfect to me…especially if she ended up being the one I married. So here I am having thoughts about a life with her and I never truly received a “no” from God in terms of the priesthood.

I am thinking about everything now and don’t have much peace about it…why would God bring this amazing God-loving person into my life if he wanted me to be a priest? Why would he take her away from me after all that she’s done to help my relationship with God? Is it a call to be a deacon? I don’t know…in addition God has blessed my with a full-tuition air force officer training scholarship to a University for Aerospace Engineering? If he wanted me in the seminary, why would an opportunity like that arise?

If he does allow my to partake in marriage someday why hasn’t he given me peace about it? I’m praying hard daily and doing my best to place all my trust in his plan…but to say the least I’m confused and need peace. My girlfriend deserves the absolute best, which means a person who’s fully devoted to her while at the same time putting God as the first priority. In order to continue our relationship and keep God at the center I need to know his will…

Thoughts or Advice??


Do you have a spiritual director?


I once met with one when I was younger but currently I do not have one. I will be getting one in the next couple of weeks though, I can't do without one...


My priest gave his homily the other week and it was about vocations. He was dating a girl and was very much in love with her. He said that he thought about having a wife and a family, but there was still this question of the priesthood. He went to seminary and during a break, his girlfriend came to see him. He realized that he was truly called and is now a priest. He told us that we are his family and he loves us all. Instead of having a wife and kids, he is married to God and we are his children. God doesn’t take everything away from somebody so the only thing that is left is the priesthood. He gave us free will so that we can choose in which ways to follow him.

You need to speak with a spiritual director. He will help you to understand what you are feeling. Chances are, he has been through something similar.

As for your girlfriend, she may be the one although if she is a Protestant, is she willing to be married in the Church and raise the kids Catholic? She may be a guide to bring you back to God without being your future wife. I don’t know. But I do know that God answers all prayers, but not always in overt ways. I wish you all the best luck and please remember that if only perfect people were called to serve God as priest, then we would have no priests.


Still, though, if you are actually called to the priesthood yet are really attached to a lady, it could be quite difficult to break off your relationship. It is not exactly the same thing as just having lust in general or being obsessed with an actress or model. Be careful; that is not dissuade anyone, though.


You should find a spiritual director.

My former g/f helped me a lot too. I even thought about getting married to her, but here I am in the seminary, and I am very peaceful about my decision although it wasn’t easy but God helped. I believe that God has great plan for my former g/f also.

I pray for you.


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