I’ve read through probably every forum on this site related to seeking vocation and discernment for marriage…I have seen a lot of good advice and would now like to ask for help and insight to my own situation.
I have been with my boyfriend for about a year and a half now. We’ve known each other for a decade, and were very close friends for 3 years before we started dating. It was one of those best friend turns into a significant other type relationship.
While we were becoming very close, we also both returned to God. My boyfriend had left childhood Catholicism for a militant atheist adolescence. When he went away to college, he returned to the Church and is now very traditional. At the same time, our friendship actually led to my conversion from agnosticism/Protestantism to traditional Catholicism as well. I am celebrating 2 years in the Church next Easter
Essentially, we are both very traditional and serious Catholics. I will go ahead and tell you that we follow the rules and guidelines laid down by the church…there is no cohabitation, making out, hanky panky, etc.; although it was not always that way. When we first decided to move beyond friendship there was physical intimacy and neither of us had a very chaste adolescence I am sad to say. However, when we decided to begin dating exclusively, we also chose to go cold turkey with our bad habits and to move forward as would be respectful for a Catholic dating relationship.
So now here we are, seriously dating, seriously Catholic. And I’m wanting to talk about marriage. We talked once, separately, about discernment of our vocation with our priest…but it didn’t really lead anywhere and it has been months since he brought it up. Our priest kind of gave us the “go ahead and do it”, but my boyfriend is skeptical and has gone to other priests asking for advice, sometimes receiving a really different answer from what our own priest said.
When I try to talk to him about marriage, he says that i bring it up too often and stress him out…that we need to spend more time just “being” in the relationship in order to see if it is right.
I feel like I do see marriage very clearly in our future, I try to pray on it often, and I feel like I’ve been given certain signs. It hurts me that he doesn’t want to talk about it, but I don’t want to pester him so badly that he resents it, when engagements should be happy and exciting…
Please any advice on patience, or how to talk about this sort of thing, how to discern if marriage is right…
We are young, but marrying age. Both mid-twenties…
Thank you for anyone who reads this long piece, God Bless You