I’d appreciate advice on how to live with a balanced Catholic view of one of the stickiest issues for me personally - homosexual marriage. My problem is the opposite of the one I usually hear about from other Catholics. Most seem to have difficulty fully embracing the Church’s teaching that homosexual acts (including “marriage”) are sinful. I have no problem with that - rather I tend to take things too far to the other extreme. I let my zeal for defending Catholic beliefs affect my ability to have charity for my neighbors; those who are struggling with same sex attraction as well as supporters of their “rights”.
I’ll quote from a recent post in another thread because it might help clarify what I’m asking about:
Do you know how many gay couples are now adopting children out of the foster system, children that most “kid producing” couples are not adopting. A friend of mine from high school is in a gay marriage and has a beautiful happy daughter who is very loved, has a huge extended family, and is experience things and places she would never have experienced in the foster system.
I too have no problem with the legal union of the same sex, but it goes against Catholic laws and that will not change so I don’t worry about it. These marriages came as a result of so many families rejecting their gay children and their long time spouse, until they were dying of AIDS. Then those families kept those long time partners, the ones who loved and took care of their child when he was dying, from being there to hold their hand when they died. That is why partners want their rights.
I know two gay couples that have been together over 30 years, but neither feel the need to marry because they don’t care about any political issue, so they have nothing to gain being married and both families are fully excepting and would never go against their wish to be there when the other dies. What two people do or do not do in their own home is not for me to judge. I know too many gay people that make some straight Christian people look like monsters.
The situations described here are some of the issues I struggle to understand from a correct Catholic point of view. Personally I feel that homosexual civil unions are a bad idea because they would seem to validate and encourage sinful sexual activity. So I disagree when someone says we shouldn’t have a problem with unions outside the Church. Is my viewpoint on that lacking in charity?
Also on the issue of raising children, I’m very conflicted. I know a gay couple with two children and to my knowledge they provide a loving home for them. OTOH, I also understand and agree with the importance of children having a father and mother (biologically male and female). What is the correct Catholic stance to take here? Where is the balance between faithfulness to Church teaching, which would seem to oppose gay couples raising children (or does it?) and charity for them?
Finally, am I wrong to even worry about this? I’m re-reading The Imitation of Christ, which stresses the importance of staying out of other people’s affairs and focusing on our own sins and shortcomings. However, we’re also taught to evangelize and challenge the sins we see in society, right? I’m sure that, like many things in Catholic belief, it’s a case of “both and” rather than “either or”, but I don’t really know how to reconcile these seemingly opposite ideas.
I know that’s quite a bit to ask all in one thread, and I’m grateful for Catholic insights into any or all of them. Please don’t waste your time or mine by telling me the Church’s teaching which opposes homosexual acts is wrong…there’s really no chance you’ll convince me of that. This isn’t intended to be that kind of thread.