[quote="dconklin, post:3, topic:230162"]
I am a dad as well as a scout leader. My wife would be upset if I asked her to go. Boys up all night? Boys arguing? Keeping constant watch on a group of children in a big city? I am not sure I would want to go. Camping? Sure. DC Metro? No thanks.
He is a guy. I am sure this is not the first time you have needed to cut him some slack. You are fully in your rights to pester him for your own trip with him/them. My wife would be collecting cruise brochures.
Try to let this go. It could do a lot of damage if you allow it to fester.
Sure, she might have said she'd rather stay home, but you're not saying that asking your wife if she would like to go on a Scout outing is automatically a command performance, right? If not, how could she be upset, if all she has to do is say, "No, thanks, let me know when I only have to protect the bears and caterpillars from the energies of budding American manhood, and not any white marble national landmarks or Dorothy's ruby slippers"? I don't doubt what you're relating, but you have to admit that something does not quite add up. If your wife doesn't know how to say "no" without guilt to things she does not want to do and has no obligation to do nor say "yes" to those same things without resentment, so that you have to read her mind and predict what she wants before you ask her to volunteer, I guarantee you that is a recipe for emotional "festering". Any marital understandings that require mind-reading on the part of one or both spouses are headed for unhappy results.
Besides, remember that we're talking about one of those Scout Moms who have braved all the camping outings, not one of those who refused all the campouts but now wants to attend when there is a hotel room and a glamorous destination in it for her. Her husband was remiss in not asking if he could take any adults along who had pitched in significantly with the other Scout outings, and that includes his wife. OK, he didn't think to do it and someone else did....but should she "let it go" without ever giving him an opportunity to make amends? I would think that if he is contrite about his mistake, he'll want to do something. If he's not contrite, if he thinks nothing of taking advantage of her generosity and good nature on the camp-outs and then leaving her out of the outings that she would like, that's an issue to talk about, not something to stuff.
Cutting slack is not a "guy thing". It's a human being thing. And she need not pester, cajole, or whine about how she'd like him to make amends for her having missed the trip. She doesn't need to blame or hold it over his head or whack him on the side of the head or any of the rest. She just needs to say, "The rest of the family got their opportunity to go on a trip I have long wanted to go on, and so we're going to find an opportunity for me, as well....just as we would for any other member of the family who was in the same position, when it is possible." It is not about blaming. It is just about looking out for everyone, even Mom.