tubes tied


#1

I am not a Catholic, but I truly desire to be! My wife and I go to a protestant church. To make a long story short I have been very involved in ministry in the past, but I I have found that the Catholic Church is the true Church.

But anyway, my question is this. My wife is insisting that she is going to get her tubes tide. And she sees nothing wrong with it at all. I have not been in support of it, but I have been mostly against it due to safety reasons, not actually spiritual reasons. I really don;t know how to approach her about it. I have been trying to not scare her away from the Catholic Church, and have in many ways showed my approval of the Catholic Church without being too pushy and “in your face about it.” I believe over time with prayer and consistancy she will see the light of the Catholic Church, though she is devoted to God as far a what the Protestant beliefs takes you.(Lord knows I have been giving many hints)

But anyway, can anyone please give me some advice and info about the Catholic Churches position on this operation plus some wise council. I need it! Thank you very much!!!


#2

Dear Copland,

Being a Protestant can lead you to salvation if and only if you beleive in the divinity of the Trinity- Father, Son, and Spirit. Baptism is also necessary in order to be saved…and to avoid sinning.

However it is my opinion that Protestant Christianity is merely the bare bones of Christianity…and lately many Protestant sects are headed in the wrong direction.

Catholic Christianity is probably the epitome of what Christ wanted for His church, dogmatically speaking.

As for your wife Copland, please kindly ask your wife, “Would Jesus Christ, Our Lord, want you to purposely sterilize yourself?” If she says, yes, then you have to clarify to her that God is the God of Love, not some genie who grants wishes.

Much love and God Bless,

-JDS


#3

Try to explain to her that such procedures mutilate God’s creation. That we belong to God, He has a plan for our lives. For us to alter the plan of God would be wrong and we have no right to do such a thing. That children are a blessing from God. “Children are a gift from the Lord”-Psalms127:3 “Whoever welcomes a little child like this in my name welcomes me.”-Matt.18:5 Not to mention that it hurts some people. A friend of mine who had it done said that every month she would get terrible cramps that she went to the doctor about it and he said that it was normal after a woman gets her tubes tied to have severe cramping every month. That’s just the way it is. I’ll have to check on the reason for it. :blessyou:


#4

How about suggesting to your wife that she not do something so irreversible too suddenly. Does she know you want to join the Catholic Church? Ask her to wait awhile at least until that issue is more settled.
It really should be a joint decision. Better to hold off until you can be more in agreement. She may see things more your way once she has more exposure to Catholic teachings.


#5

[quote=copland]I am not a Catholic, but I truly desire to be! My wife and I go to a protestant church. To make a long story short I have been very involved in ministry in the past, but I I have found that the Catholic Church is the true Church.

But anyway, my question is this. My wife is insisting that she is going to get her tubes tide. And she sees nothing wrong with it at all. I have not been in support of it, but I have been mostly against it due to safety reasons, not actually spiritual reasons. I really don;t know how to approach her about it. I have been trying to not scare her away from the Catholic Church, and have in many ways showed my approval of the Catholic Church without being too pushy and “in your face about it.” I believe over time with prayer and consistancy she will see the light of the Catholic Church, though she is devoted to God as far a what the Protestant beliefs takes you.(Lord knows I have been giving many hints)

But anyway, can anyone please give me some advice and info about the Catholic Churches position on this operation plus some wise council. I need it! Thank you very much!!!
[/quote]

Go here: christopherwest.com/

Christopher West has done some EXCELLENT work in this area…I have his audio tape (Marriage and the Eucharist) and it’s an excellent tool for talking about being ‘open to life’ and why.

Also Janet Smith has written a book that is very good I hear…I’m blank on the name (too early in the am to think) about this.

SV


#6

[quote=copland]. My wife is insisting that she is going to get her tubes tide. And she sees nothing wrong with it at all.
[/quote]

Hi Copland,
Sometimes we just think we know it all! Many years ago, long before I ever dreamed I’d “come home to Rome” I felt the same way as your wife. This was one year after the birth of our second son. No one could talk me out of the operation, it was done. Only a couple of years later I began yearning for another child. This lasted for quite a number of years, and at times was so strong that it caused me a great deal of grief and depression.

When I did join the Church, this sin, as I came to realize it to be, was one of my major confessions. And I realized that those strong yearnings for a child were because God had had more children in mind for me, but I so rudely slammed the door in His face. Truly, God knows us better than we know ourselves.

Pray much, and ask the Holy Spirit to give you the words, the tools to help your wife reconsider.

Oh, and btw, those physical symptoms mentioned above—true.:mad: There are many websites out there devoted to “Post-tubal Syndrome.”


#7

I being a cradle Catholic should have, but never knew that tieing your tubes was not within the churches teaching. After all, I know many Catholics that have done it, but there was something inside of me that knew it was wrong. I’ve always felt that there may be one day that I would yearn for another child and would not be able to have one. Recently, I’ve read an article called: Contraception, Why Not? by Janet Smith. Although it does not directly correspond to tieing your tubes and is 10 years old, I believe it gets across the same message about contraception and sterilization. It is quite lengthy, but well worth your time. See the following site:

www.catholiceducation.org/articles/sexuality/se0002.html


#8

I would recommend giving her Kim Hahn’s converstion story. I believe you can get it on tape at St. Joseph communications. She began looking at the Catholic church once she began a study of contraception. That might help her see that before 1930, everyone believed it was wrong to use any kind of birthcontrol.

Pray!! Most of all, my dh had a vasectomy and reversed it 2 years later. Praise God for hearing my prayers!

God Bless,


#9

Hi Copland.

I know you’ve been devouring a lot of Catholic writings of late but there may be some on this issue that you haven’t found yet. You might want to download and read Pope Paul VI’s encyclical Humanae Vitae from the Vatican website.

vatican.va/holy_father/paul_vi/encyclicals/documents/hf_p-vi_enc_25071968_humanae-vitae_en.html

Also, I think I told you that I recently read Archbishop Fulton Sheen’s book Three to Get Married. That’s a great treatment of the theology behind love, marriage, and sex. It doesn’t have an explicit chapter on contraception or sterilization but you can draw a lot of solid conclusions from Sheen’s explanation of God’s plan for marriage and sex. You can download it from EWTN here:

ewtn.com/library/MARRIAGE/3GETMARR.TXT
Hope some of that helps. (Still being a single guy, I can’t offer too much wisdom from experience, just from books. :slight_smile: )


#10

Socrates,

Hey my friend! Thank you for the resources! I have much to learn in this area.


#11

I had my tubes tied 14 months ago as after my 4th pregnancy which was taken by emergency c-section and a huge amount of blood loss for myself not to mention a week hosptial stay my doctor told my husband who is a Lutheran ( No more from this womb) my husband values my life first and foremost and agreed and I had my tubes tied. We had planned on being done either way as we are barely getting by with the four we have and another child would be huge strain on our marriage.

I have had no problems at all with my tubes tied, no cramps etc.
Actually, my periods have gotten way lighter and less crampy than they ever were before and I have no mid month cramping either. So, just to point out that it is different for each person and you can’t really state that all people will have cramping as that is not true.


#12

Saint Giana, pray for us. :frowning:


#13

There is a book by a protestant couple called Open Embrace, this couple rethought their stance on contraception-- it might help you approach your wife.

Also, visit www.omsoul.com. They have lots of information about contraception & sterilization… and the awful side effects! They, of course, also address the moral components.


#14

My wife and I just had another discussion about getting her tubes tide. She is upset at me. I need to find a good case about an alternative to contraceptives. I have another thread I started concerning this. But please pray for us!! We need it bad!


#15

[quote=copland]My wife and I just had another discussion about getting her tubes tide. She is upset at me. I need to find a good case about an alternative to contraceptives. I have another thread I started concerning this. But please pray for us!! We need it bad!
[/quote]

Another Option to consider would be natural family planning (NFP) to temporarally postpone a pregnancy rather than artificial contraception or sterilization.
You are in my prayers


#16

I just ran off a copy of this web page. Is this a good source to give her? Does this best explain NFP?

irh.org/nfp.html


#17

[quote=copland]I just ran off a copy of this web page. Is this a good source to give her? Does this best explain NFP?

irh.org/nfp.html
[/quote]

Here’s one of the best sites out there:

ccli.org/

SV


#18

[quote=copland]I just ran off a copy of this web page. Is this a good source to give her? Does this best explain NFP?

irh.org/nfp.html
[/quote]

Before you load her up with a whole lot of information, say a little prayer for good timing. Find out what her reasons are (I mean the really deep reasons that she has) for not wanting to have more children. It may be better for your marriage not to throw everything at her at once. Listen to her and let her know you love her(I am often guilty of not doing that myself). Because you and your wife are not Catholic, there are many rules and reasons for restrictions on our actions that need explaining. Keep trying to learn but use charity in sharing what you learn. She may not be at the same point as you.


#19

Ok, my mom got her tubes tied and she is Catholic, at the time I dont think she knew it was against the church, they wern’t exactly " good catholics" at the time.To tell you the truth i dont think she knows now. She know goes to church, and taught religious education classes. im wondering, is she in sin since she didn’t know?

:gopray2:


#20

[quote=rianredd1088]Ok, my mom got her tubes tied and she is Catholic, at the time I dont think she knew it was against the church, they wern’t exactly " good catholics" at the time.To tell you the truth i dont think she knows now. She know goes to church, and taught religious education classes. im wondering, is she in sin since she didn’t know?

:gopray2:
[/quote]

You need to talk to her and let her know what she did is against Church teaching, and yes it is a sin even if she didn’t know it at the time, although her culpability might be lessened since the intent wouldn’t of been to deliberately go against the Church…next she needs to talk to her priest about this, it needs to be confessed.

SV


DISCLAIMER: The views and opinions expressed in these forums do not necessarily reflect those of Catholic Answers. For official apologetics resources please visit www.catholic.com.