I’m with ya sister. I got rid of HBO after season two so I’m waiting for Season 3 to be available on Netflix. I’m also hooked on The Girls Next Door, which is kind of the same thing, except more fluffy and less interesting.
I think I’m so fascinated by the show because it takes something that people might fantasize about and puts it in a “realistic” context that provokes thought. I mean, doesn’t it sound intriguing to have ANOTHER partner, completely different than the first, that you still connect with and find happiness? Variety? Excitement? And everybody’s okay with it! Sounds good right? Except … it doesn’t work that way. God made it one man and one woman for a reason, and the fact that humans are jealous beasts is probably a biggie.
In one of my last psychology classes I interviewed a counselor who specifically worked with couples who had open relationships, or polyamory. He said that counseling them is far harder than any standard “closed” relationship, because despite how much they profess that they are “okay with it” and how “open their mind is”, jealousy takes over every time. And it’s harder for them because they don’t know where to place their anger. In a standard relationship if one partner cheats then the other is hurt and angry - clearly the unfaithful one made the mistake and the anger felt is quite justified. But in a relationship where both parties agree that sex outside the marriage is okay, they have no room to get angry when the other person actually goes and does it. They’re upset but know they have no right to be, they’re mad at their partner and feel bad for it, they’re mad at themselves for being hurt - it’s just confusing all around.
Anyway, back to Big Love. Jealousy is a common theme on that show, but like any good show they do it with humor and are even able to gain sympathy from the audience for the characters. When Bill and his first wife “have an affair” with each other (ie spending more time together than she’s allotted) I about wet my pants laughing. Imagine having to lie and be sneaky to spend extra time with your own husband!
If you like that show, check out Breaking Bad. Talk about “holy cow I can’t believe he did that” mixed in with “what would I do in that situation”. That will have your brain clicking for sure!