Um, marriage between two dominant personalities sounds like disaster in the making. Absolutely, both parties must feel heard, understood, respected, and valued, but at some point there are issues with no possible middle ground. Do we buy this house or that house? Do we move out of state for a job opportunity, or do we stay where we are, close to extended family members? Somebody’s got to give, out of love for the other, to keep the peace.
My mom always suggested that the woman give in, just because someone has to. So I guess this question bears on the “Wives, submit to your husbands,” and the “Mutual submission” issues which have been discussed elsewhere. Are these two dominant personalities capable of introspection, discussion, negotiation, compromise when possible, giving in with good grace not resentment, and not going to make it a “my way or the highway” issue every time? I’m especially concerned when wives demand their way, “ladies first,” or else the man is just a mean, uncaring, male chauvinist pig. I think a man needs to feel respected and needed as leader (head) of his home, but how can he if he’s told the wife knows better than him or his wants/needs don’t count as much as hers? That’s what I see happening in general in wider society, “men are stupid, we women know better.” The pendulum has swung wide to this extreme from the opposite extreme, “the man knows everything and gets to decide everything, no question, the woman gets no say in any matter whatsoever” of a couple generations (or more) back.
Marriage is a chance to grow in holiness, maybe by learning to submit, even when (especially when) you don’t feel like it. Now I’m not saying the husband should trample his wife’s feelings, but will the two dominant personalities embrace their cross of submission for the good of the other (or for the good of the relationship) or resist that cross? Now there’s the question.