Un-married but want to adopt


#1

Is it considered mortal sin to get pregnant on purpose if you are no longer married? I am divorced/annulled. But I want to have a baby. I know some of what the Church teaches about fertility procedures and "test tube" babies. :confused: I want to wait until G_d sends me a spouse and wait on His Timing for starting a family. :( What is the Churchs teaching about single parents and adoption? :)


#2

[quote="fortw701, post:1, topic:238132"]
Is it considered mortal sin to get pregnant on purpose if you are no longer married? I am divorced/annulled. But I want to have a baby. I know some of what the Church teaches about fertility procedures and "test tube" babies. :confused: I want to wait until G_d sends me a spouse and wait on His Timing for starting a family. :( What is the Churchs teaching about single parents and adoption? :)

[/quote]

I don't know anything about those fertility procedures (I'm a bachelor, I don't have a dog in the fight) but the church does frown upon them. I have no idea if it's sinful.

I get zero joy in saying this, it actually breaks my heart-but I'm not sure a single person should adopt (again, I'm so sorry). A child needs two parents.

No, I'm not saying single parents are all bad, and that it can never work-but it's much harder.

Again, I'm so sorry for your situation. Your in my prayers.


#3

I have not read that it is a mortal sin. I think most can agree that a two parent household is better than a one parent. However, a one parent is better than an orphanage provided that one parent has the emotional, physical, social, spiritual, mental, and financial energy to support this child. This can be a tough discernment. I am not picking or judging I am asking the honest question.


#4

[FONT=Times New Roman][size=4][LEFT]

[FONT=Times New Roman][size=4][FONT=Times New Roman][size=4]
Proposals to [/size]

[/size][/FONT][FONT=Times New Roman][size=4]use these embryos for research [/size][/FONT][FONT=Times New Roman][size=4]or [/size][/FONT][FONT=Times New Roman][size=4]for the treatment of disease [/size][/FONT][FONT=Times New Roman][size=4]are obviously
unacceptable because they treat the embryos as mere “biological material” and result in their
destruction. The proposal to thaw such embryos without reactivating them and use them for
research, as if they were normal cadavers, is also unacceptable.[/size][/FONT][FONT=Times New Roman][size=1]37
[/size][/FONT][FONT=Times New Roman][size=4]
The proposal that these embryos could be put at the disposal of infertile couples as a
[/size][/FONT][FONT=Times New Roman][size=4]
treatment for infertility [/size]
[/FONT][FONT=Times New Roman][size=4]is not ethically acceptable for the same reasons which make artificial
heterologous procreation illicit as well as any form of surrogate motherhood;[/size][/FONT][FONT=Times New Roman][size=1]38 [/size][/FONT][FONT=Times New Roman][size=4]this practice
would also lead to other problems of a medical, psychological and legal nature.
It has also been proposed, solely in order to allow human beings to be born who are
otherwise condemned to destruction, that there could be a form of [/size][/FONT][FONT=Times New Roman][size=4]“prenatal adoption”. [/size][/FONT][FONT=Times New Roman][size=4]This
proposal, praiseworthy with regard to the intention of respecting and defending human life,
presents however various problems not dissimilar to those mentioned above.
All things considered, it needs to be recognized that the thousands of abandoned
embryos represent a [/size][/FONT][FONT=Times New Roman][size=4]situation of injustice which in fact cannot be resolved. [/size][/FONT][FONT=Times New Roman][size=4]Therefore John
Paul II made an “appeal to the conscience of the world’s scientific authorities and in particular
to doctors, that the production of human embryos be halted, taking into account that there
seems to be no morally licit solution regarding the human destiny of the thousands and
thousands of ‘frozen’ embryos which are and remain the subjects of essential rights and should[/LEFT]
therefore be protected by law as human persons”.[/size][/FONT][FONT=Times New Roman][size=1]39[/size][/FONT]
[LEFT]

usccb.org/comm/Dignitaspersonae/Dignitas_Personae.pdf[/FONT][/size][/FONT][FONT=Times New Roman][size=1][/LEFT]
[/size][/FONT]


#5

[quote="fortw701, post:1, topic:238132"]
Is it considered mortal sin to get pregnant on purpose if you are no longer married?

[/quote]

yes of course it is immoral to deliberately become pregnant outside marriage either the natural way or by unnatural means such as IVF.

the Church has no teaching on single persons adopting, other than to exercise the virtue of prudence. In general it is preferable for a child to have two parents, but there are some cases where especially an older child or one with special needs may do better in a one-parent home. That assumes of course the prospective parent has the spiritual, psychological and financial resources to be a good parent.


#6

[quote="puzzleannie, post:5, topic:238132"]
yes of course it is immoral to deliberately become pregnant outside marriage either the natural way or by unnatural means such as IVF.

the Church has no teaching on single persons adopting, other than to exercise the virtue of prudence.

[/quote]

I am sorry I thought the OP was saying she understood that she should not physically become pregnant herself without the benefit of remarriage and was praying for God's time. But know physically getting pregnant would be a mortal sin.


#7

That’s why my poor brain took it in a whole 'nother direction. Mentioning adoption and test tube babies and there I went. :shrug:


#8

Yeah I went the adoption route - I think we need clarificaton from the OP.


#9

I was seriously considering adoption before I met my husband. I figured I wasn’t going to purposly concieve a child without a complete family, not to mention that the Lutheran Church frowns on this too. I figured even single I could give a adopted child at least a little bit better opportunity than they might have had otherwise.

Adopting as a single female is tricky. It’s virtually impossible in the US, and many foreign countries do not adopt to single people. Luckily at least a few Eastern European countries and a few Asian ones do. If you are a single guy…forget about it.

If you are serious about adoption contact the Catholic Agencies about it, they can help you through the process.


#10

It would be really hard to be a single parent...not the ideal. If you decide to do it make sure you have the emotional and financial resources to make it work.

Perhaps you could get involved in the Big Brothers/Big Sisters program instead? Then you are spending time with and helping an older child.


#11

Yes, I agree with a lot of that. Adoption is what I was really considering. Getting pregnant on purpose would mean my having children outside of a marriage, which I believe is wrong. I agree, I think that a two parent home would be better to raise a child/children in.


#12

From a purely pragmatic standpoint, if you are seriously thinking of adopting as a single person, you'd better have a strong support system in place. It's not going to be easy, you are going to need help with different issues. You won't have that other parent to fall back on when things get tough, to share the good times with either. If you are part of a good extended family, maybe you can do it. Still gonna be hard. I think doing Big Brother/Big Sister is a wonderful idea.


#13

A child would never choose not to have a father.


#14

I think a child in a bad situation would rather be adopted by a single mom then stay in a bad situation.


#15

I am inclined to think it would be a better idea to find a spouse before acquiring children.

Single mothers have a hard time in life.

Shifting the focus from children to marriage makes more sense to me.


#16

I disagree.

In the circumstance put forth you would say that she should adopt by herself, rather than meet a man and adopt because he will create a bad situation?

If it were possible to speak to a newborn baby and you asked whether he wanted a mum or a mum and dad, he would always pick the two.

Of course, we cannot speak to them so we must decide for them.

Also, however hard it is for parents to bring up a child it will be much more difficult for one parent.


#17

No I was saying that a newborn born to parents who don;t want them would rather have a single adoptive mom than stay with the people who don;t want them or go to a foster home.


#18

I don’t think it is a sin for a single person to adopt. However, I agree with other posters that it is going to be a lot of work and if ever it gets to be too much, giving the child back would be horrid.

Also, if you do ever want to get married, being a single mom would probably turn a ot of men off. First, they would not know you adopted the kid and not even bother to ask because the though would never occur to them.

Also, even if they knew you adopted… they still may not want to take on a child that was not theirs.

My advice is 'only adopt if you are ready to accept you could be a single parent forever and you have the strenght to do everything yourself.

CM


#19

DISCLAIMER: The views and opinions expressed in these forums do not necessarily reflect those of Catholic Answers. For official apologetics resources please visit www.catholic.com.