un-Reconciled?

I’m not yet confirmed and it looks like it will be some time before I am confirmed. So I am almost Catholic (in my heart and spirit, I am Catholic).

If I’m in an irregular or invalid marriage but living a chaste life with my spouse, am I allowed to receive the sacraments of reconciliation and absolution? He is waiting for a final decision on his nullification of marriage petition, but that takes time. We’ve been married for 18 years and have children together. His other situation was over 20 years ago for a year, no children. Our children are young so separate households - not happening.

I’ve asked our priests but they say that reconciliation is a sacrament and since I’m not confirmed and irregularly married, though living chaste life, I can’t participate in any sacraments. But I don’t understand why. I know others in my class, also not yet Catholic, are being told they must go before Easter. Can anyone help explain this so I can understand? I feel so “less-than” others. I’m trying to make things right as a former protestant who thought I was right with God all this time, I want to do the right thing.

Unfortunately I can’t explain but I want to encourage you to trust your priest. God will work through and with him to guide you where you need to be. Part of being Catholic (truly Catholic) is learning obedience, even in the face of discomfort.

Welcome home. I’ll be praying for you!

Normally someone makes their first confession shortly before being received into the Church. It’s part of the final preparation for the other sacraments.

It’s not that you are “less than” anyone else. It’s more that it’s not the right time since you’re not being received right now.

I would suggest you talk with your pastor about this. It’s ultimately his decision and if he says it’s OK, then you could go now and go again when you’re actually being received.

It’s ultimately the Church’s decision.

A person in that situation is not eligible for Confession.

What your priest told you is correct. Only those who are either baptized Catholic, or received into the Church can participate in the sacrament of Confession.

The Candidates for reception into the Church go to confession as the last step just before they are actually received as the final preparation for Confirmation and First Communion—at least if that’s done at the Easter Vigil.

What you need to do is to continue to work with the priests who are helping you through this process.

What ever you do, dont get frustrated or give up due to the wait. Last year i was still awaiting the “paperwork” for an annulment. Jesus knows when you are ready and he will make things happen for you. If you dont get to confirm this year (and make your first confession) the priest can bring you in without you waiting til next Easter.

I agree with you – and initially stopped my post at the point of saying it’s too early – but for what it’s worth I have heard of people being allowed to confess earlier. Maybe the priests who allowed it were wrong, but I have heard of it happening. (And yes, I know that you hear about lots of things happening that shouldn’t.)

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