Unbaptized JW girlfriend converting to Catholicism


#1

I’ve been in a relationship with a wonderful woman over the past 2.5 years, and most of everything has been great so far. I initially brought up religion and family a few months into our relationship and that was a tough subject for us to tackle. We eventually decided that we would do our own personal bible study from Genesis to Revelations, and I am happy to say that we are almost through with our first run of the holy scriptures!

I came to realize recently that even if she were to allow our children to be raised as Catholic, that this would not ultimately make me happy. I want a partner that I can share my Catholic faith with, one who I can live it with; not just someone who will not get in the way of me living it. Recently I let her know that I came to this conclusion and without hesitation she said that she would “look into converting and she would become Catholic,” because she “trusts that I would not lead her away from Salvation.”

To be honest I was shocked; I never expected this from the woman who had been born and raised a JW by her Mother (a former Catholic) and Father is a non-practicing Catholic. During our scripture studies each of us has consistantly come to different conclusions on verses with regards to the Trinity, Idols, Blood, and basically every different belief that there is between the two prospective faiths. Now, this woman states that she trusts me to be the head of her household and family and that she would do this for us.

It’s almost like I don’t know how to feel, because I feel that she is doing this to make me happy, but I don’t want this to make her unhappy in return. I told her this, and she said “if I didn’t want to do this I could leave you right now, your not making me do anything.” It is really just a big mixture of emotions, and I know that if any Catholic’s partner decided to convert that should be the happiest thing going for them. And in reality it is for me, I just don’t want her to do something she will regret for the rest of her life.

In any case, I am looking into both of us attending RCIA together so we can both grow together with our love for God in the Catholic faith, please pray for us.


#2

Congrats!!! I'm going through a similar issue with MY girlfriend (pentecostal/congregational) and I'd settle for the concession of raising the children Catholic. The ONLY reason we're not married.

I am VERY happy for you!


#3

That's great!

My fiance (non-denom Christian) recently told me that she thinks she is on her way to believing in the Real Presence because she read an article which quoted one of the Church Fathers which essentially said that he worried for those who did not acknowledge the presence of Christ in the Eucharist. She feels that he would not have said that if the founders of the Church didn't truly believe it. She's said before that she doesn't think she'd ever become Catholic, but you never really know where you'll end up when searching for the Truth.

Your girlfriend being a JW might prove to be a bumpy road ahead when it comes to her understanding Catholic theology, especially if she was practicing and not just going along for the ride. Prayers are definitely needed. My prayers are with you, good luck!


#4

Congrats -

my wife is doing the same thing - but i feel like she is just doing it to make me happy - not to mention i kinda said i need this to happen if we get married - but shes going to RCIA

and though reluctant she is learning and slowing enjoying it :D and understanding why we do everything we do!


#5

Please don't break her heart

[quote="Kc906, post:1, topic:295309"]
I've been in a relationship with a wonderful woman over the past 2.5 years, and most of everything has been great so far. I initially brought up religion and family a few months into our relationship and that was a tough subject for us to tackle. We eventually decided that we would do our own personal bible study from Genesis to Revelations, and I am happy to say that we are almost through with our first run of the holy scriptures!

I came to realize recently that even if she were to allow our children to be raised as Catholic, that this would not ultimately make me happy. I want a partner that I can share my Catholic faith with, one who I can live it with; not just someone who will not get in the way of me living it. Recently I let her know that I came to this conclusion and without hesitation she said that she would "look into converting and she would become Catholic," because she "trusts that I would not lead her away from Salvation."

To be honest I was shocked; I never expected this from the woman who had been born and raised a JW by her Mother (a former Catholic) and Father is a non-practicing Catholic. During our scripture studies each of us has consistantly come to different conclusions on verses with regards to the Trinity, Idols, Blood, and basically every different belief that there is between the two prospective faiths. Now, this woman states that she trusts me to be the head of her household and family and that she would do this for us.

It's almost like I don't know how to feel, because I feel that she is doing this to make me happy, but I don't want this to make her unhappy in return. I told her this, and she said "if I didn't want to do this I could leave you right now, your not making me do anything." It is really just a big mixture of emotions, and I know that if any Catholic's partner decided to convert that should be the happiest thing going for them. And in reality it is for me, I just don't want her to do something she will regret for the rest of her life.

In any case, I am looking into both of us attending RCIA together so we can both grow together with our love for God in the Catholic faith, please pray for us.

[/quote]


#6

[quote="marlo, post:5, topic:295309"]
Please don't break her heart

[/quote]

I'm more worried that she'll break his heart.

What often happens is that someone converts because she is in love and wants to marry. Then when the 1st child comes along, the in-laws get involved and religion becomes very important, with each set of in-laws pulling toward their own faith. Lots of guilt trips, etc. That's when the convert often returns to the faith she grew up in. It often ends up destroying the marriage.

Paul


#7

just don't forget your both being Catholics is no guarantee your marriage will last.
"respect for one another, acceptance of one another's faults, and dying to yourself (kill your pride)" may not be complete but very good start towards a lasting relationship.
she maybe converting because she sees something "Christ" like in you. congrats.
emarc


#8

[quote="PaulDupre, post:6, topic:295309"]
I'm more worried that she'll break his heart.

What often happens is that someone converts because she is in love and wants to marry. Then when the 1st child comes along, the in-laws get involved and religion becomes very important, with each set of in-laws pulling toward their own faith. Lots of guilt trips, etc. That's when the convert often returns to the faith she grew up in. It often ends up destroying the marriage.

Paul

[/quote]

I totally agree with Paul. She wants to please you and get married but when the first baby comes along she will turn into a Jehovah's Witness mother bear and her family will be backing her up all the way. This is very serious. Please take your time and be very careful.


#9

Hey OP I really do wish that your situation works out in the best possible way. Just make sure you keep communicating with her about how she feels about all this as much as you can. A faith can prove to be so dear to an individual's life even if some prove to be more misguided or warped than others. Just take it slow with her and make sure to have checkpoints along the way.

Again, I hope that you two work things out successfully and you come to live a rich and long life together. I'm glad that you both are so open to each other and it shows how much you both care.


#10

Thank you to everyone for your input and prayers. Life has really been great with this woman since we began seeing each other a few years ago. In the end we don't know what our future holds and we don't know what might happen within the covenant of a marriage. Deep inside I know it was the right thing to do by letting her know of my wishes; the rest will be up to God. Thanks again for your prayers and support!


#11

I think the apostles knew that there would be problems marrying outside of christianity but they allowed it anyways. just wouldnt think that a christian married to a non christian would ever work out? it would be weird especially any different churches who teachings werent the same or from the same teacher, i guess that shouldnt matter to much though!we shouldnt try and cause more divisions in the spirit of the church, i just hope that either side had been subject to false teachers of the spirit.
dont you ever worry about the beliefs of the other party and how they dont coincide with what your taught? sometimes its just possible to sense that they arent of the same spirit as you are!? right. dont you think it was dangerous marrying a jehovahs witness?


#12

[quote="JerBear_Meaux, post:11, topic:295309"]
I think the apostles knew that there would be problems marrying outside of christianity but they allowed it anyways. just wouldnt think that a christian married to a non christian would ever work out? it would be weird especially any different churches who teachings werent the same or from the same teacher, i guess that shouldnt matter to much though!we shouldnt try and cause more divisions in the spirit of the church, i just hope that either side had been subject to false teachers of the spirit.
dont you ever worry about the beliefs of the other party and how they dont coincide with what your taught? sometimes its just possible to sense that they arent of the same spirit as you are!? right. dont you think it was dangerous marrying a jehovahs witness?

[/quote]

Before I met her I had never heard of a "Jehovah Witness," so I had no idea what this group was or what they believed. Researching the religion took over a good portion of my life during the first year of being with her; I realized the vast difference and beliefs and felt it only right to do my homework. And that of course is the point of all of this. Parents raise their children in this world, so I know that if I were to ever marry this woman then she would want to share her beliefs with our children, just like any good mother would. Once I realized how false their beliefs are when compared to Orthodox Christianity, I realized something would have to be done before I could ever marry her.

Can you imagine having a family with someone who will teach your children that they should refuse a blood transfusion to save their life because it is "biblical?" Even now, her religion refuses to allow her to be "baptized" since she is in a relationship with me; she us unvenely yoked to me. The one thing I knew a long time ago is that I would never allow the JW teachings or organization get anywhere near my children that I would have with this woman if we were to be married; definitely puts me in a precarious spot.


#13

i think youll still be in a spot once she leaves the jehovah witness church because im sure they will still want to extend their hand and try to help and contact you after she leaves to get her to come back.


#14

There is only one reason to belong to any religion. It is that you believe its doctrines.

The benefits of faith are only there if we really believe the truths faith conveys.


#15

You hit the nail on the head; that is the exact reasoning of why I was so perplexed when she said she would look into becoming a Catholic. We have had personal a personal Bible Study (without books/magazines) from Genesis through Ephesians now, and both of us have consistently agreed with a Catholic/JW perspective on every single item. One of her strongest beliefs from the Old Testament was the ban on Idolatry, and she believes the statues, crucifix’, and stained glass windows are considered idols. I know this has been drilled in her head from a young age, but again that is what she believes. Now she is stating she will look into converting, which means she would be stepping inside of a church at least once a week. She has been inside of a church of any kind only once in her life due to this particular reason.

Either way she needs to be the one that wants to convert, and it shouldn’t be for me. She should want to join the Catholic Church because she believes they teach the fullness of truth, as you mentioned grandfather.


#16

[quote="Kc906, post:15, topic:295309"]
You hit the nail on the head; that is the exact reasoning of why I was so perplexed when she said she would look into becoming a Catholic. We have had personal a personal Bible Study (without books/magazines) from Genesis through Ephesians now, and both of us have consistently agreed with a Catholic/JW perspective on every single item. One of her strongest beliefs from the Old Testament was the ban on Idolatry, and she believes the statues, crucifix', and stained glass windows are considered idols. I know this has been drilled in her head from a young age, but again that is what she believes. Now she is stating she will look into converting, which means she would be stepping inside of a church at least once a week. She has been inside of a church of any kind only once in her life due to this particular reason.

Either way she needs to be the one that wants to convert, and it shouldn't be for me. She should want to join the Catholic Church because she believes they teach the fullness of truth, as you mentioned grandfather.

[/quote]

Maybe you should tell her you do not want her to convert unless she accepts the teachings of the Church. You can say you want her to study the various doctrines of Catholicism, but unless she believes them you think it is a bad idea for her to enter the Church.


#17

Sounds like she'll be converting for you. Otherwise she most likely would not be studying to convert to Catholicism. The 2 of you studying the Bible together is a good thing though! Keep it up!
(She may have been raised one of JW's but never made it her own. Otherwise she probably would not be in this situation.)


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