Unbelievable Distracting Moments


#1

Gone is the hyperbole and what remains is a thread intended
[sign]for everyone to feel comfortable [/sign]
in listing those unbelievable moments of liturgical abuse observed in Church at the hands of your fellow parishioners.

If you had not witnessed these obviously distracting offenses, you might not believe them possible. :eek:

There are plenty of threads where the first response is that you humbly MYOB. This isn’t one of them…Those having committed any offenses listed will be eventually judged like the rest of us.

I’ve listed below just 6 of the more unbelievably true incidents that I have borne personal witness to over the past 2 years during mass and Adoration of Our Lord. I have been amazed, angered, and led to barely controlled laughter by some of these incidents. All severely distracting in nature.
However, they have caused me to become much more thankful for every mass and every moment that I sit and kneel before Our Lord and King.

During Adoration, :frowning:
…a brother who struggled with lack of elbow room but was able to satisfactorily bathe his receding hair and scalp in the holy font of water…

…a brother visibly relieved, who upon leaving the restroom marked "out of order " cleansed his hands thoroughly in the holy font of water…

…a sister who for a steady 5 minutes, experienced very loud flatulence, rising and leaving only upon noting that she’d successfully woken her napping brothers and sisters…

During mass, :frowning:
…a college student who braided her fellow college student’s hair with much engineering precision; allowing not one hair to escape and proudly displaying her natural talents to her mother (sitting in the pew in front) who gave her loving approval…during the consecration…

…a senior citizen and a devoted parishioner… who found it quite necessary to inform the college students just how angry he was about the inappropriate hair braiding—nearly losing his dentures as he narrowly escaped falling over the pew in front during his attempt to flash them his look of severe disapproval…

…a parishioner who insisted on quieting his child by instructing him, step by step, how to properly blow bubbles with chewing gum; so intently that Father had to come away from the ambo and ask him to refrain from talking so loudly…

Holy Conversion is ongoing and constant and never ending…


#2

During Mass

… A man in the front row who fell asleep during the sermon, which everyone took note of due to his loud snoring. The homilist left the pulpit, stood next to the man, and in a loud voice repeated the words of that day’s Gospel: “Stay awake! Watch and pray!”

… During a different sermon, a woman who was wearing a short sleeve shirt and shorts took out a bottle of lotion. Didn’t seem to be a big deal at first, as I thought perhaps the poor woman had a medical condition such as dry hands and that she was going to discreetly take care of her dire physical necessities. Oh no … instead, she slathered big, huge, smelly greasy gobs of lotion all up and down her arms and legs as if she were at the beach!

… An elderly lady with surprising strength who made some effort to arm-wrestle me over whether the kneeler should be up or down on returning from Communion. She wanted to force me to stand after Communion rather than kneel.

~~ the phoenix


#3

God Bless you for keeping your wits about you! :slight_smile:


#4

I had one last night … on my occasionally weekend off the music roster, I travel round to see how the other half live. I often go to an otherwise lovely church that on Saturday nights has the most awful recorded accompaniment - mainly piano, played competently, but by one of these out-of-the-mould piano teacher types that you can tell does not sing him/herself and has never done anything other than play piano by himself/herself. The timing is robotic and waaaay too fast - the musical equivalent of having a pack of terriers nipping at your heels. And the volume’s always too low - if you sing, you can’t hear the accompaniment and because it’s too fast it all then ends up a train wreck. But, the congregation is determined to sing, and they do, bless 'em … as loud as they can without drowning the PA.

A woman in the congregation, clearly the local musical society diva or some such (lovely voice but loud and penetrating, looked to be the sort that informs the whole world I’ve-spent-all-my-life-on-the-stage by adopting a permanent theatrical manner and clothes and makeup to match) decides the troops need geeing up in the communion and thanksgiving hymns … and proceeds to belt them out in the middle of the communion queue and congregation, grand solo style, portamento, “interpretation”, the lot, with everyone else kinda mumbling in their collective beard so as not to lose track of the accompaniment.

I’d love to have a voice like this lady’s but it there’s a time and a place and sheesh it was a relief when it stopped …


#5

This is why I tend to keep my eyes closed during Mass. My own eyes betray me, and cause me to loose focus on the Mass. There is no shortage of distraction during Mass. I am not discipIined enough to ignore the distractions. Closing my eyes works for me, and I humbly recommend trying this practice to anyone who is having difficulty concentrating. Either that, or sit in the front row.

As for conflicts with the kneelers, I have kneeled on the floor in the pews if there are many people around me who wish to stand. Having a kneeler down when one is standing is awkward and potential trip hazard.


#6

I have never found having a kneeler down when one is standing to be either awkward or a otential trip hazard. That is probably because in most of the churches in which I have worshipped have either had kneelers that are fixed (cannot be raised at all) or are always down anyway. If the pews are properly spaced there is no need for interfering with the kneelers! :smiley:


#7

I can’t recall a Church I’ve been in where down kneelers were not awkward… And all of these kneelers are fixed (in both the senses you can move them up and down only or attached to the ground)… I do have big feet though :stuck_out_tongue:

My current Parish do have their pews too close together though… At times I’ve had to place the kneeler down when sitting and put my feet over beyond it under the next pew. But I’ll go with the awkwardness since they actually need that many pews (and possibly a few more rows)


#8

We had an intoxicated man wander into the church during Mass, and he knocked over the table with the gifts as he stumbled around at the back of the church. :eek:


#9

Thank you kindly, anniemart! May God bless you too. :slight_smile:

Never fear, Matas. After that experience, I switched parishes, that being one major reason why. Problem solved. :slight_smile:

Just remembered another major distraction. Something to seriously pray about:

During Communion, a man did not officially get in line but rather stood off to the side and demanded in a spooky, menacing voice, “Give me a Host!” A couple of ushers quietly stepped between this man and the priest, in case the priest needed defending from a potential physical attack. The man eventually backed down of his own accord.

~~ the phoenix


#10

I don’t know whether to laugh or to cry. Maybe I’ll just do both. :confused:

I’ll pray too.

I think that if people had the faintest clue what the Mass is about or if they believed in the Real Presence these abuses would stop. Sometimes I think that the “New Evangelization” needs to begin with the evangelization of church-going Catholics.


#11

During Mass:

The grown woman who was wearing see through white shorts and a thong. I felt sorry for the teen age boy behind her. —KCT


#12

ditto! Just a note…our sister in Christ who used her “bodily noises” to wake up other brothers and sisters during Adoration also thinks it necessary to remove all litter from the pews *and leave it there **"***so that people will learn to take their trash with them!" :o


#13

Only two moments that were absolutely ridiculous and completely unacceptable:

-A child around 10 years old was sitting through Mass playing Game Boy (or whatever the new thing is now) the entire time with his mother right there next to him. She made no effort to stop him, and when it came time to receive Communion, he just stayed in the pew and continued playing.

-A girl at school whose phone rang during Mass and she proceeded to talk all the way up to receiving Communion.


#14

:eek: how sad…

During Mass,
I heard one of our sisters in Christ this morning (as she walked by) loudly whisper “just keep your taquito under the blanket!” I prayed only that it was for child with special diet needs??:o

I did a very good job of ignoring the circus going on in front of me though. There’s a particular family that have a a pair of twins and despite how cute and adorable they appear; they aren’t. One pulls on the other’s pony tail and in return, this one clobs her on the ear…and so it begins. We usually sccot way down the opposite end of the pew whenever they’re nearby. Grandma and Grandpa appears to be raising them…God Bless them! They usually leave mass looking very tired. :o


#15

In the middle of Father’s homily, someone let out a very loud sigh after he thought that it was over, only to find out that our priest was going to keep going. Father heard this sigh, smiled at that person, and said, “Well, I guess that’s enough for now.” It wasn’t intentional though, and I really didn’t mean for my sigh to be that audible. Oops. :blush:


#16

What on earth is the purpose of a thread such as this? What good can you possibly think you’re doing for our Church by dumping all over it?


#17

I was wondering the same thing. Sounds like the Pharisees to me. “I’m so glad I am not like them.”


#18

Gee…it took you a little longer than I thought it would to response Lilym…I knew of course you would find fault with it…that “disclaimer” in my OP was meant just for you and a few others that have yet to try to derail the thread. By the way, in my opinion, your postings are often unfriendly in tone and keep those of us with sincere questions from asking them because of it. I am so sorry that this thread has disappointed you…whether you choose to believe it or not, it might behoove you to find an argument elsewhere…

PLEASE REFRAIN FROM POSTING ANY FURTHER TO THIS THREAD. YOUR POSTS WILL ONLY SEEK TO ADD ADDITIONAL INSULT AS YOU HAVE IN THE ONE ABOVE. THANK YOU.


#19

**IT MIGHT INTEREST YOU TO KNOW THAT PATRICK EASTIN SUGGESTED THAT THE THREAD BE MOVED TO THIS FORUM AND CONSIDERED IT TO BE A GOOD TOPIC. **

PLEASE REFRAIN FROM POSTING ANY FURTHER INSULTS. THEY ARE NOT WELCOME AND ONLY SEEK TO MAKE THOSE WITH SINCERE POSTINGS TO OFFER UNCOMFORTABLE. THESE FORUMS ARE OPEN TO EVERYONE AND IF YOU HAVE NOT WITNESSED ANY UNBELIEVEABLE DISTRACTIONS WHILE AT MASS OR ADORATION, THEN YOU HAVE ABSOLUTELY NOTHING TO OFFER TO THIS THREAD. THANK YOU.


#20

This thread is now closed.


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