Unconditional Love


#1

How do you love your mother unconditionally when her actions are not in line with Catholic teaching?


#2

No one can tell you “how to love” someone.

However, your mother would love you regardless of what you did. You should consider the same towards her.


#3

because loving a person does not mean loving everything the person does. In fact, the more you love someone, the more you may hate some things they do, the same way a woman's love for her husband means she absolutely hates his alcoholism. And the more she loves him, the more she will hate his alcoholism. I believe for instance that God loves us more than we can love each other, but I also believe he must hate alot of the stuff we do. It's just the basic distinction between the sin and the sinner.


#4

I agree with the other posters. First you have to define "love" and what loving someone means. Christ told us to love even our enemies, so it is obviously something Christ knew was under our control. And something we could do for those opposed to us. Which means, at least in my opinion, love isn't a feeling because much of our feelings arise without concious effort or control on our part.

So, if you define love as a deep and abiding concern for the well-being of others, including their spiritual well-being including the state of their souls, than you can certainly love your mother. Despite her imperfections and errors. It means, again as others said, you can love that person even while acknowledging those things you don't like, and those things which are hazarding their souls.


#5

[quote="danserr, post:3, topic:226276"]
because loving a person does not mean loving everything the person does. In fact, the more you love someone, the more you may hate some things they do, the same way a woman's love for her husband means she absolutely hates his alcoholism. And the more she loves him, the more she will hate his alcoholism. I believe for instance that God loves us more than we can love each other, but I also believe he must hate alot of the stuff we do. It's just the basic distinction between the sin and the sinner.

[/quote]

Great answer.


#6

Some ways to love your mother is to pray for her. Be polite to her but most importantly SET BOUNDARIES. Example, if you hate that she drinks so much, when she asks you to pick up some alcohol say NO.

Leave the door open for the possibility she could change her behaviour.

Also don't bad mouth her unjustly. If you need to talk about how her behaviour is affecting you, do it with the mentality 'how do I find the solution'. Don't do it to gossip

CM


#7

If everyone's actions were always in line with Catholic teaching, there would be no need for the Sacrament of Reconciliation! Love the sinner, hate the sin. Love the person, hate the illness.


#8

Thank you to all you offered some suggestions. This really was a great way to start my day especially after reading today's meditation in the WOrd Among us. IT spoke directly to me as did all who responded. Definately the Holy Spirit! GOd Bless you all for your kind words.


#9

And in general Jenstar, not necessarily about your mother, but just in general when dealing with human beings.

We can love someone unconditionally without having to respect them or trusting them unconditionally.

Sometimes we need to remember that love, trust, and respect really are three distinct qualitites.

I have found that realizing I am NOT commanded to trust or respect unconditionally actually leaves me free to love unconditionally.

Its quite freeing.


#10

[quote="Jenstar7, post:1, topic:226276"]
How do you love your mother unconditionally when her actions are not in line with Catholic teaching?

[/quote]

Unconditional love is unconditional. That does not mean that you have to agree with all your mother does. I have many occasions where I still love someone, but don't like or agree with what they are doing.


#11

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