First post on here ever so I hope I don’t cross any lines but this shouldn’t be graphic at all. My husband and I have always had an unequal desire for sex… I always want WAY more than him. We’ve been married almost four years, he’s 25, and I’m 24. I do not think that he is the one at fault here and I don’t want anyone to say things like “get his testosterone checked” or “maybe he’s depressed”. He happens to have a lower sex drive than me and I don’t want to pressure him into having more sex than he’s comfortable with. I strongly believe my sex drive is unhealthy, not in the amount I desire, but in the way I desire it. We talked about it last night and he described it pretty well. He said something like, sex is not something I can just enjoy as a beautiful part of our marriage, it’s something I NEED, like food or sleep. If I don’t get enough of it, I am unhappy with our relationship and feel like something is missing. Even if I don’t express how I feel to him, he knows and can feel that I am unhappy. It’s not just the physical part for me, but I would say the majority is about the physical. My body tells me I need sex and then it’s all I can think about for the next few days until I finally get some or give in and masturbate.
Since this is a Catholic forum, I am really hoping we can be orthodox about the comments. I’m not on the pill, we don’t use condoms, and masturbation is something to strongly avoid as the Church as defined it as sin. I just became Catholic this Easter though (yay!) so I never viewed masturbation as sin before and was able to use that as a coping mechanism to kind of even out our sex drives. Now that I’m Catholic, I am trying to avoid sin and stop using masturbation to “curb my appetite” (my husband was never happy with me doing it before either but I did it anyways… I didn’t know what else to do and it didn’t FEEL like a sin).
This is a real point of tension between us and always has been. I know I must be partly viewing sex wrong and may possibly have a hormonal imbalance (also evident in my irregular cycles and acne that I’ve gotten since going off the pill a year ago), but any suggestions at all would be much appreciated.