I married a non-Catholic in a Catholic ceremony. I realize that marrying a non-Catholic was a huge error in judgement. He agreed to be married in the Church and to raise the children Catholic. While I was only half practicing, since we've had 2 children, I am fully practicing. We attend Mass every week (OK...well not this past week because we are buried in snow), we are active in the Parish and the girls attend the regional Catholic school
My husband has since been baptized Baptist and attends a non-denominational church. While I would like him to convert, I don't pressure him. In fact, we pretty much don't discuss religion at all because we end up in a fight. However, he knows I will not back down on the girls being raised Catholic and going to the Catholic school.
We have had many problems in our marriage. It was 10 years before we had our first child and the second came 14 months after the first. They are now 6 and 5.
My subject is unequally yoked in multiple ways...religion and others. He is the stay-at-home parent with our 2 children. He has back problems which resulted in surgery a while ago and he hasn't worked since. Financially, it does not make sense to put the girls in daycare.
Unequally yoked...he does not clean the house, he does not do laundry, he does not maintain the cars, he does not help the kids with homework (very rarely), he does not cook (unless he has to). I work fulltime outside the home and make good money. I have made choices in what I buy (like the type of house) because I insist the children go to Catholic school. I come home and make dinner, do homework, pick up with house, do laundry on the weekends, etc. He takes the kids back and forth to school and goes to a few meetings week (12-step).
This is not what marriage is suppose to be. I can get passed the fact that he does not want to convert but the kids will be raised Catholic. I can't get passed our relationship. If I ask him to do something for me, it's as if I'm inconveniencing him. Yet, I'm suppose to ensure I spend time with him. We have no common interests...he hates to go to the mall (like to window shop or walk around for something to do) or out to eat. I'm not very athletic and don't particularly like to watch sports. If I try to strike up a conversation (which is rare), he provides one word answers or none at all.
Other than my not spending time (that I don't have) with him, he thinks our marriage is not that bad. I mentioned he goes to 12-step meetings. He has just over a year. He's active in his meetings and ready and willing to help in that area of his life. However, his family is last in my opinion. I admit, I put him last because I feel the children are more important. I am so tired of doing for others, that when I have time for myself all I want to do is sleep or watch some mindless TV.
I don't know how to talk to him and most of the time don't want to. I've shut down emotionally with him. He thinks I'm the one in the wrong and that even if he did help more around the house it wouldn't matter. Maybe it won't, but right now, I can't get passed the growing resentment.
Any prayers or suggestions would be much appreciated.