Unforgivable Sin - Confession?

Hello!

I know you must have had so many questions before about the ‘unforgivable sin’ but hear me out.

Bit of background - only came back to faith a few months ago. I tried to be proactive concerning reading the Gospels.

I became truly angry with God about something that I perceived in the Gospels and felt rejected by Him. I went fully down this rabbit hole and started actively looking for accusations against God through different sources. I decided that I didn’t want him anymore In my life. Despite full knowledge that He exists, I decided to tell him that I was turning my back on Him and going to live my life and enjoy returning to my sinning ways. I told him that I wanted the Holy Spirit removed from me ( usually I pray every night to fill me with the Holy Spirit) I actively tried to harden my heart to Him. I spoke to others about God in a terribly blasphemous and crude way even though I know the words are true and didn’t want His salvation. I tired to make myself believe that His good works in my life and literal saving from of my life in December were just a worldly coincidence.

I wanted to hurt Him as much as possible. This was beyond yelling ‘I hate you to the sky’. I systematically went through trying to blaspheme against the Holy Spirit over the course of a few days.

Every so often I got this wave of love (from me to Him or Him to me) but I shut it down every time and literally turned away. I never went so far as devil- worship etc but I delighted in the thought of returning to sins and stopping any love for other people.

I felt such emptiness in my chest and despondency but I tried to empower myself that my life was now my own. It took my poor totally - lapsed Catholic husband (who doesn’t agree anymore with Catholic teachings) getting worried and telling me to see a priest to shock me that I was doing something truly terrible. I am planning on going to confession today even though I think it is a silly sin to confess (do I need to confess this? I am definantly not a scrupulous person).

I know Catholics tend to sugar-coat the unforgivable sin as being final unrepentance unto death but to be honest, the amount of effort I took in this phase of my life makes me think I may have signed my own damnation. Jesus, through the gospels, literally say that I’m unforgiven. I more trust that than any Christian Saint or Scholar who came since. I’ve never really worried about Hell to be honest but the thought f he Lord ignoring me, turning away literally and telling me that he doesn’t know me cuts me to pieces inside. Even if I am damned, that was my choice and actions, and I desperately want God to come back to me at least for the short amount of time that I have on Earth.

After literally ticking off each of the 5/6 sins against the unforgiveable sin, will confession allow God to let me go back to Him at least for the time that I’m alive?

Will the priest laugh me off/ tell me not to be stupid or shout at me for it?

No the priest won’t laugh but give you a canon - prayers to say daily, acts of charity etc to do in order to obtain forgiveness.
This is one of the gravest sins - blasphemy against the Holy Spirit. Only you can change your relationship with if you decide to give yourself up and do what the priest will tell you todo. All is not lost but you have to do acts of faith even if you don’t feel like to cure yourself of your unnatural relationship with God.
We all fall and we live to change our fall.

I pray for you to go to confession and find a.good priest who can truly help you.
God bless.

It is important to know what Christ means in context to blasphemeing and being unforgiven. Christ gave the Church his very own authority, so you should have full confidence in her teachings. The Church teaches that in order to be unforgiven for blasphemy against the Holy Spirit you have to reject repenting of this sin, and all other mortal sins for that matter. One cannot be forgiven if you do not seek and desire it. If a fornicator isn’t really sorry for their sin but goes to confession because it’s just what they think they’re supposed to do, they will not be forgiven in this life nor the next. They are in mortal sin and are not contrite. Blasphemy against the Holy spirit is a state one may be in just like other mortal sins, in a way. But it does not have to be eternal. There is no sin that cannot be forgiven if you desire repentance, which involves reuniting with the Holy Spirit and accepting the grace being offered.

God Bless. Know that there is no greater love, no greater mercy, peace and joy than in Christ.

God is a lot bigger than your sins. A whole lot bigger. Don’t keep thinking about your sins and don’t assume God can’t forgive them. Have the humility to get to Confession, tell everything to the priest, be done with it, and move on.

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If you’re wondering whether or not to confess something, confess it. Even if it’s not something that requires absolution, you can still get helpful feedback.

Remember: it ain’t over until you’re dead. If you’re sorry, God will forgive and forget. There are some great saints who did much, much worse than what you’ve described before they turned it around.

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That’s a big YES. If you are a member of the Catholic Church, confess.

Even if it was a stupid thing to confess, which it’s absolutely not, I don’t know of any priest who would ever do this.

Talk to your priest about this, preferably by setting up an appointment so that you’ll have time. Sometimes in the confessional, the priest won’t have time to listen to backstories. Tell the priest what you told us here.

Anger at God is quite common. Any priest will tell you that. Just look at the Old Testament prophets. They were angry at Him frequently and answering His call ruined their lives and got most of them killed. All of them, at one time or another, tried saying no to Him or even run away. So, you’re in good company. Don’t worry, though. God is merciful. God is kind. And when it comes to human anger, God can take it. God’s plan of salvation for you will not be foiled by something as small as human emotion. After all, He’s Almighty God. And, in the end, God gets what he wants.

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The unforgivable sin is final impenitence – dying unrepentant from actual mortal sin. No one alive has committed that sin. For as long as we are alive, even through the last moment of life, we can repent. God offers the grace to repent, and we are able to accept it.

Also, anger at God is not usually a mortal sin. It is a result of human weakness in the fallen state.

Here is what I think is a key difference with your battle with God, and the unforgivable sin.

You did not attribute evil to the Holy Spirit, or the Holy Spirit to being evil. This sin puts someone in a diametric opposition to the Spirit of God, even as Satan himself is.

You were struggling to overcome the devil, and being overwhelmed, you were giving up. I wont sugar coat this, because its awful!

I believe you should not worry about the unforgivable sin, because you do not believe the Holy Spirit is your enemy. You know that He is good, He is one and the same substance as Jesus and His heavenly Father.

The unforgivable sin is that which sees the Holy Spirit, and hears Him, but believes He is evil, and attributes His will to the Devil.

Isaiah 5:20
Woe to those who call evil good
and good evil,
who put darkness for light
and light for darkness,
who put bitter for sweet
and sweet for bitter!

You think your sins were bad.

Did you know Bartolo Longo, brought up devout catholic became a satanic priest when he was at university. He got people to leave the catholic faith and did many bad things, obviously with full knowledge God exists.

He repented, then spent the rest of his live saying the rosary/promoting the rosary. He became so holy that people would see him in ecstasy and people even said the virgin mary appeared to him.

He’s now on his way to sainthood.

Obviously he didn’t commit the unforgivable sin as he’s in heaven.

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