"Unfriendly?"


#1

Hi, I’m new here, so I hope you can help. My husband is a non- practicing, non-catechized Catholic (meaning, he was baptized but not raised Catholic – and he’s 55, by the way). He hasn’t been to mass with me in years. Luckily I realized that arguing about it wasn’t helping matters, so I am trying to talk to him more about his reasoning about this. One comment he had was about how “unfriendly” us Catholics are (he’s been to some Baptist and Presbyterian services in the past). I explained that mass is more of a time to focus of Christ and not as much about fellowship like in other churches, but that didn’t seem to help matters very much. He’s really not that interested in the whole “God-thing” (maybe it’s his genes – :wink: ha, ha, ha). I plan to buy a copy of Patrick Madrid’s *Search and Rescue. *Any other suggestions?

AMDG, Jane


#2

Have you tried more involvement in your local parish? Things like potluck dinners, bake sales, and so on – ask him to take you to some affair like that, one where you meet and talk to people in more everyday settings.


#3

A Case for Christ and A Case for Faith by Lee Strobal in a great, fun, and scholarly defense fo the “God-thing.” Although it is written by a Protestant, it really deals with apologetic issues only, which we usually can join hand on.

I recommend it because it is so fun to read, and so hard to put down.

Simularly, Letters from a Sceptic by Gregory Boyd is just as good and readable. Again by a Protestant, but it is apologetic in nature. I just gave it to a friend of mine who was nominal in the Roman Catholic faith (i.e. he grew up Catholic, but never went to church). He made a complete transformation in thought concerning Christ and now is back at the Roman Catholic church. We talk all the time about Christ now. We used to argue all the time. This book, he says, transformed him from a skeptic to a true believer.

Michael


#4

[quote=vern humphrey]Have you tried more involvement in your local parish? Things like potluck dinners, bake sales, and so on – ask him to take you to some affair like that, one where you meet and talk to people in more everyday settings.
[/quote]

I think Vern is on the right track. It doesn’t sound like your husband needs more information at this point, he just needs to get involved in the life of the parish so that he’ll at least see some familiar faces when he goes to Mass. Rather than the gladhandling he’ll find at some smaller churches, he’ll develop some real relationships with people. I belong to the largest parish in the western United States and the fastest growing, and it would be easy to be completely anonymous. My wife and I, through volunteering in just a few ministries, always feel welcome and at home if we can at least stop and chat with a few old friends and fellow workers in the field of the Lord.


#5

Hello JaneDC,

Have you suggested that he go to a Knights of Colubus meeting? I am not a Knight, but from what I have heard and seen this could be just the ticket for him. I have heard that it is amaising to hear a group of, usually middle aged, men joining together for prayer. I also know that the knights usually have quite a social agenda. From my experience at joining different groups, I know it can be quite exilerating to instantly gain a large group of close freinds. How much better when they are all Catholic.

Peace in Christ,
Steven Merten
www.ILOVEYOUGOD.com


#6

having been active in various aspects of parish life, we have found the best way to get lukewarm Catholics, or non-Catholic spouses of Catholics involved and “in the door” is to ask them to volunteer for a non-religious function, like serving at the hunger center, going on the Applachia project to repair houses in Kentucky, be chaperones on youth outing, help paint the rectory or plant flowers around the church, barbecue for the parish picnic and so forth. An invitation is more likely to be accepted to a specific event rather than a general (come to church sometime), and when no pressure or demands are placed, and when people can feel they are contributing, rather than being ministered to.


#7

[quote=JaneDC]Hi, I’m new here, so I hope you can help. My husband is a non- practicing, non-catechized Catholic (meaning, he was baptized but not raised Catholic – and he’s 55, by the way). He hasn’t been to mass with me in years. Luckily I realized that arguing about it wasn’t helping matters, so I am trying to talk to him more about his reasoning about this. One comment he had was about how “unfriendly” us Catholics are (he’s been to some Baptist and Presbyterian services in the past). I explained that mass is more of a time to focus of Christ and not as much about fellowship like in other churches, but that didn’t seem to help matters very much. He’s really not that interested in the whole “God-thing” (maybe it’s his genes – :wink: ha, ha, ha). I plan to buy a copy of Patrick Madrid’s *Search and Rescue. *Any other suggestions?

AMDG, Jane
[/quote]

You have any mutual friends that are Catholic?

You’d think a spouse has the best chance to aid a conversion, but I think in practice it may prove to be more of a hinderance than a help.

Another man who he respects who’s willing to share his faith with him may be most helpful.

Chuck


#8

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